She walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel and pauses when she sees me sitting on our bed. Her eyes flash with anger, and I hesitantly hold my hand out. “Come here, Rave.”
She narrows her eyes at me, but she does as I ask, standing between my spread legs, her eyes on mine.
I grab her hand and place my phone in it. “Check. I haven’t replied to any of her messages. Check my call history. Today is the first time I picked up when she called.”
“You think I won’t?” she snaps.
I smile up at her. “Baby, I gave you my phone because I want you to check. This isn’t me playing games with you. This is me giving you the honesty you asked for.”
She stares at my phone, and for a moment, pure agony flashes through her eyes. Then she hands me back my phone, her expression grave. “Never mind,” she tells me. “I don’t need to see any of that.”
I stare at my wife for a moment. “You asked for honesty, didn’t you? So give me a moment of honesty. I want to know why you just looked at my phone that way.”
Raven looks into my eyes and sighs. “Do you remember that day that Grandma made cookies, and you filmed Sierra and me fighting over them?”
I nod, my dick stirring at the mere thought of that memory. She’d climbed into my arms in an attempt to snatch my phone away, and I’d pushed her against the wall, her body pressed against mine. It was only for a few moments, but I still remember the way she felt against me.
“When I deleted that video, I saw the last photo you took. It was a photo of Hannah, naked, in bed. I don’t want to go through your phone because I don’t want to be confronted with any of that. Maybe it’s silly, I’m not sure. It’s not like we’re truly husband and wife, but I just…”
“We are.”
I wrap my hands around her waist and look up at her pleadingly. “Grace,” I remind her. “Will you give me some grace?”
She looks back at me, caught off-guard.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Ares. I’m not… I’m not mad at you. I’m mostly just mad at myself.”
I tighten my grip on her and shake my head. “No, baby. You’re my wife. It doesn’t matter how or why we got married — all that matters is that we’re married now. You better believe I’d be pissed as fuck if you were going around calling your ex, so yeah, I did do something wrong. If it’s not behavior I’d accept from you, it isn’t something I should be doing myself. You and I will need to talk about if and how Hannah is going to be part of our lives, but that isn’t something we need to do right now. How about we both think about it, and once you’ve decided what your boundaries are in relation to Hannah and me, you let me know? Whatever you decide, I will honor.”
She stares at me in disbelief. “What if I decide that I never want you to speak to her again?”
I smile at her. “Then I won’t. You are my wife, Raven. I will always put you above anyone and everything else. Always.”
She purses her lips and nods, her expression filled with cautious hope. She doesn’t realize it, but she could ask me for the moon and I’d try to give it to her. There’s nothing I won’t do for her.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ares
I scroll through my camera feed, the feeling bittersweet. Hannah always hated taking photos together, so most of them are of her alone. There aren’t many of us together, and I can’t find a single one of the both of us in which I’m smiling. All of these images look forced, as though I knew she was humoring me by taking a photo with me.
I sigh as I upload all my photos with family and friends to the cloud before navigating to my settings and pausing on the factory reset button. I hesitate for a split second before clicking on it. A fresh start is what I want. It’s what Raven and I both need, and in real life, we can’t have it. We don’t have the luxury of giving each other an honest chance without our baggage weighing us down. I thought it’d be painful to erase a part of our lives, but the thought of hurting Raven is more painful. I should’ve done this long ago.
Things between us have been somewhat odd. We’ve been pretending that Hannah isn’t a factor, and it worked for us, until it didn’t. I’ve hurt her enough. I can’t risk anything on my phone upsetting her. Being reminded of my past with Hannah is difficult for both of us, but more so for her.
I watch as my phone resets and smile to myself as I type in a new password, choosing a combination of Raven’s birthday and our wedding date. Had I known erasing everything would feel so good, I’d have done it long ago.
Raven walks in to find me smiling at my phone, and her expression falls before she forces a smile onto her face. I watch her carefully as I put my phone down.
“You’re home earlier than I expected.”
She nods and rubs her shoulder. “I fell on set. My back has been hurting all day, so I figured I’d just work on my designs from home.”
I jump to feet and rush up to her. “You’re hurt? How did that happen?”
She smiles and shakes her head. “I was just being clumsy. I’ve been absentminded all day. This honestly really was all my own fault.”
I sigh and place my hands on her shoulders, massaging her gently. I don’t even need to guess to know what she’s been thinking about. I suppose we couldn’t avoid this situation. At some point, we were going to have to face Hannah and the past I share with her. I just didn’t expect myself to have so much clarity when it finally came round to it.
I sigh as I gently brush her hair out of her face, my hand lingering. She’s been so distant lately, and I fucking miss her. I cup her cheek gently and lean in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. I haven’t dared to kiss her properly since last time, scared that I’m asking for too much, too soon.
“Come on,” I tell her. “Take a hot shower to relax your muscles, and then I’ll give you a massage.”
She hesitates for a moment, but then she nods. She’s been especially distant today. Normally, she’d text me at least a handful of times throughout the day, but she hasn’t replied to any of my messages. It’s like that phone call yesterday made her realize that she and I will never be able to escape the past.
I sigh as I go in search of the oil I know she uses on her body. I need to look into how she got hurt today. I may have to hire a safety coordinator to check every single one of her sets before she gets there.
“Ares?”
I look up to find Raven standing a few steps away, a white towel wrapped around her. “Come here,” I tell her, patting the bed. “Lie down.”
Raven lies down on her stomach with her towel still wrapped around her, and my heart starts to race. What the fuck was I thinking, offering her a massage? I won’t survive having my hands on her body for that long. This was a stupid idea, but that doesn’t stop me from reaching for the oil.
I kneel beside her and tug on her towel. “Let me move this aside.”
She nods hesitantly as I move her towel lower, exposing her shoulders and upper back. I pause for a moment, before pulling it lower, until it’s bunched around her waist.
I don’t think I’ve ever been quite this nervous about something as simple as a massage. There’s something about her that I find impossible to resist. When is the last time I was this affected by a woman?