“I’m glad you remembered, because that’s a very smart point and you’re very pretty,” Sloane said to Naomi.
“Thank you. I think you make smart pretty too!”
“Aww! Group hug!”
“You guys are abusing your hug privileges,” I complained as they both fell on me again.
“We can’t help it. We’re really proud of you,” Naomi said.
“Want me to spray them down?” Joel offered, holding up the soda hose.
I sighed. “Let them have their moment.”
TWENTY-FOUR
PECAN PIE PUNCH AND POINTY ELBOWS
Lina
“Idon’t wanna go home,” Sloane whined as I steered her toward my car in the parking lot.
“I’m hungry,” Naomi sang.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked Stef as he began to peel off from us.
He looked guilty and nervous. “I, uh, called Jeremiah and asked him if he wanted to grab dinner. And he said yes. So…I’m going to dinner with a hot barber.”
Naomi pounced on him. “I’m. So. Proud. Of. You,” she said, slapping him in the chest on each word.
He rubbed his pectorals. “Ow.”
“Text us every thirty seconds. Better yet, livestream your date!” Sloane said, bouncing on her toes.
“Oooh! Yes! We’ll comment and let you know if we think it’s going well,” Naomi chimed in.
“You sure you can handle the tipsy twins?” Stef asked me.
“No. But—”
“I’m pretending you said yes,” he said, backing away with a wicked grin.
“Have fun and try not to scare him off,” I called after him.
Maybe Stef was ready to get crushed like a spotted lantern fly, but I still wasn’t convinced that vulnerability was the ultimate strength. It sounded to me more like the ultimate way to get your heart trampled.
Sloane grabbed Naomi’s arm and they both almost went down. “Oh my God. We forgot to tell her the other thing.”
“Tell who what? Am I her?” I asked, steadying them on their feet.
Naomi gasped, releasing a cloud of chardonnay-scented breath. “I totally forgot! We had an idea on who you could talk to about where Duncan Hugo might hide a car.”
“Really? Who?”
“Grim,” Naomi said.
“What’s a grim?”
“He’s a motorcycle club leader…er, boss? Maybe prime minister? Anyway, he knows everything that happens,” Naomi said.
“He knew where Naomi was when she got kidnapped because he was watching Duncan Hugo,” Sloane filled in.
“Also, he’s super nice and taught me how to play poker,” Naomi added.
“How do I reach this motorcycle club prime minister Grim?” I asked.
“I have his number. Or a number. I never called it, but he gave it to me,” Naomi explained.
Sloane’s eyes lit up as if inspiration had just struck. “You guys! I know this place with the best pecan pie in the universe.”
Naomi squealed. “I love pie.”
“Is it within the tristate area?” I asked.
I returned to the table just as the server delivered three slices of what admittedly looked like a pretty damn good pecan pie.
“Did you talk to sexy, dangerous biker guy?” Sloane asked.
“I did not.” I’d called the number Naomi gave me, but after three rings, there was a beep. I’d left a vague message requesting a call back, not even knowing if it was recording what I said.
“Ohmygoodness,” Naomi said with her fork still in her mouth. “This is the best pie ever.”
I sat down and was just picking up my fork when my phone rang. I looked at the screen.
“Shit.”
“Is it him?” my friends demanded in high-pitched unison.
“It’s not,” I assured them and slid out of my chair again.
“Hey, Lewis,” I answered, heading past the host station to the vestibule. “How’s it going?”
“Great. Good. Okay. Well, kind of shit actually,” my coworker said.
Guilt manifested itself as an instant tension headache. “I heard you were back to work.”
“Desk duty,” he clarified. “Which is part of the problem. I have a situation here and need your help.”
Yet another reason why I didn’t do relationships.
“What do you need, Lew?”
“Yeah, so remember that time I jumped off a roof and broke my ass?”
I winced. “I remember.” Vividly.
“And remember how you said if you could do anything to help me, you would?”
“Vaguely,” I said through clenched teeth. Behind me, Naomi and Sloane had struck up a conversation with an elderly couple wearing matching sweatshirts.
“Today’s your lucky day,” Lewis announced.
I sighed. “What do you need?”
“I got an FTA who just popped up on the grid in your neck of the woods.”
FTA was bounty hunter speak for “failure to appear,” a label slapped on people who skipped out on court dates, endangering the money bail bonds companies coughed up for their freedom. “You know I switched to assets for a reason,” I reminded him.
I’d paid my dues for one very long year as a bail enforcement agent before making the switch to asset recovery investigations.
“Yeah, but you’re so good at it. More importantly, you’re right there. I can’t get anyone else there before tomorrow.”
“I’m in charge of two intoxicated women right now. I can’t just leave them to fend for themselves. They’ll end up with matching tattooed eye shadow.”
“Take them along. This guy isn’t dangerous. He’s just stupid. Well, technically he’s crazy smart, which makes him stupid.”
I was familiar with the type.
“Show your friends how Legs Solavita runs down a bad guy.”
“What did he skip on?”
“A two-million-dollar bond.”
“Two million? What the hell did he do?”
“Hacked into the state’s DMV, created a bunch of fake IDs, then sold them online.”
Computer nerds were generally less dangerous to apprehend than, say, murderers or other violent offenders. All you had to do was grab their laptop and then use it to lure them into the back seat of your car. But I still wasn’t taking chances with my very new, very drunk friends.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Lew.”
“Look. I hate to play this card, but you owe me. I’ll split the payout with you.”
“I hate you and your busted ass.” I groaned. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“Actually, it’s gotta be in the next hour. He’s skipping town and I don’t know where he’ll land next. I need him in custody.”
“Damn it, Lew.” I peered through the glass at Naomi and Sloane. “You swear he’s not dangerous?”
“I’d send my own grandma to pick him up if she lived closer.”
I sighed. “Fine. But this means we’re even.”
“Even Steven,” he promised.
“And no more jokes about me busting your ass,” I added.
“I’ll text you the address and a pic. Thank you. You’re the best. I’m hanging up now before you change your mind. Bye!” he said quickly before disconnecting the call.