“We haven’t talked since that awful day when you came to Texas for a few hours. Since…” Mom drew a shaky breath, stopping midsentence.
Since I made it clear I did not consider them family after overlooking Craig’s behavior toward me.
But I’d made some progress since. I’d realized that maybe they weren’t the ones I should be angry at for that particular offense. They had their faults—they tampered with my life, with my decisions, with my well-being, and clipped my wings, putting me in a nice, golden cage. But as Ilona pointed out in one of our many sessions, they were not maliciously abusive, even if abuse did occur. And Craig’s assaults happened discreetly enough not to provoke any suspicion from them.
I swung my gaze to Hera, popping an eyebrow. “Where’s your husband?”
I already knew the answer. For once in my life, I was the snarky sister.
Hera pursed her lips, looking down. “He’s living at his parents’ now. He posted bail shortly after he got arrested.”
“Probably the first time he had to feel any sort of discomfort in his life.”
“Are you going ahead with the trial?” my sister asked.
Smiling demurely, I said, “Contrary to popular belief, I always finish what I start.”
“We’re getting a divorce,” Hera blurted out.
“Of course.” I remained unaffected. “It’s bad publicity to stay with him after what happened. Lots of headlines.”
“Is that what you think?” Hera’s mouth hung open.
I shrugged.
“Look, Hallie, we would love to talk to you inside, in privacy.” This was Dad, looking so lost, so out of his natural habitat, a pang of sorrow actually prickled at my skin. I’d never seen him so out of sorts.
I didn’t think my apartment had enough space for all of us, but I shoved my key into the lock anyway. I started messing with it when it got stuck. With a huff, I explained, “It’s a tricky one.”
Dad stepped into my personal space, taking over, holding the handle and the key. “The secret is you have to pull the handle toward you as you shove the key as deep as you can before turning.” He pushed the door open effortlessly.
With a skeptical frown, I asked, “How did you know that?”
“I worked for a locksmith all summer, every summer when I was a teenager.”
“I had no idea.”
“That’s because I hardly ever spoke to you girls about anything of importance. I’d like to change that. Now, come.”
We all filed into my living room. I didn’t make any apologies for the size of my apartment or the state of it. Or the fact the couch looked like it had seen better days—in the nineties.
Mom and Hera sat on my tiny couch, while Dad took the only stool by the breakfast nook. I landed on my twin-sized bed.
Dad looked between Hera and Mom. I always felt like they were a team, independent from me in every way, shape, and form. It seemed that way now, too. Like they spoke a secret language through their eyes alone.
“I’ll start,” Dad said decisively, when both Mom and Hera looked away, embarrassed. “The entire family owes you an apology, Hallie. And I think the right time to give you that apology was the day you came to Texas to tell us about Craig. We were so shell-shocked, so angry—at him, at ourselves—that the tragedy was clouded by rage. By the time we got our heads straight, digested everything that was said, that was done, you refused to take any of our calls. Ransom advised us to stay away—”
At the mention of his name, my heart gave a leap. But my face did not twitch. “And, well, we gave you some space. We kept calling, but we didn’t barge in. Until it became apparent that you wanted nothing to do with us—probably for good. Am I right here, Sugar Pie? Do you not want anything to do with us?”
Yes. No. Maybe?
“It’s complicated,” I said finally. “Your presence here doesn’t only remind me of what happened with Craig and went undetected. For me, you symbolize my loss of independence. Or my never really gaining it in the first place. All the lies, the cover-ups about my dyslexia…the way you substitute your love and affection for me with mansions and designer bags…I’m mad at you. I’m angry at myself for letting it happen. And I’m not finished being angry.”
“Fair.” Dad rubbed his jaw. “We’re not going to push you to do anything you’re not ready for. But we have some things to say before we leave here. First of all, I’d like to apologize. This is a blanket statement, Hallie, so listen carefully. I apologize for not being present when I should have. For making the wrong decisions when you were too young to make them for yourself. For hurting you in my bid to protect you. For drowning you in material things instead of attention. For being absent, and focused on myself, on my career, when life began to unravel for you. For letting it spin out of control the way it did. Most of all,” he sucked in a breath, his lower lip quivering slightly, “I apologize for not being the father you deserved.”
You could’ve heard a pin drop. The place was so small our knees touched together. It was ridiculous to see all these powerful people sitting in a nine hundred dollar a month studio.
“My turn.” Mom wiped the corner of her eye, an embarrassed chuckle on her lips. “I would like to apologize, too. I suspect my role has played a big part in how you’re feeling right now. I’d been…so obsessed with my place in this world, with my title, with what I wanted to achieve, that I completely neglected you. Both of you.” She looked at Hera, too.
“Only with Hera, it was…different. She stayed close. She didn’t want to live far away. She sought my attention and advice actively, so it was easier to form a closer relationship with her. I foolishly believed if I gave you your space, you’d come to me eventually. That we would have a relationship. A part of me even resented you—my own daughter—for your lack of interest in me and my accomplishments. Instead of trying to figure out a way to you, I was waiting for you to find a way to me. I am so sorry. I never meant to cause you harm. I genuinely believed putting you through some tests that would label you a certain way would harm your self-esteem, not elevate it. I trusted in my way with such conviction, I couldn’t imagine, for a moment, a scenario where I could be wrong. I am so sorry, Hallie. If you just give me the chance, I know I can make the situation better. For both of us. Start over fresh.”
Again, I said nothing. It was a lot to process. My gaze was pinned on Hera. She was the only one who hadn’t said anything. A part of me didn’t think she would. Hallmark movies aside, people didn’t usually have epiphanies. Light bulb moments or defining points where they suddenly knew what to say and what to do. And recognizing your own errors was especially hard.
Cautiously, Hera opened her mouth. But instead of an apology, something else entirely came out.
“I hate my life.”
The words rang around the room, seeping into the walls.
“I’ve always hated my life,” she said, sitting a little straighter. “I’ve taken the opposite path from you, Hallie. You were always about making your own mark in the world, living your life as you saw fit, exploring who you are. I only wanted to be a part of the Thorne legacy. I wanted to become someone Mom and Dad would be proud of. But on my way to it, I forgot to figure out who I really was.”