“Sorry, dude.”
Karma was in the mood to fuck me real slow to candlelight today. I trudged outside, slamming the door on my way out. There was no knowing when Hallie would be here, and I didn’t want to scare her off by calling and asking.
To make matters worse, I couldn’t wait nearby. All the bars and restaurants around were still closed—it was too early—and there wasn’t a Starbucks in sight.
Pathetically, I found myself standing and waiting in the rain. I had no idea when she’d show up. If she’d show up. I just knew I had to try. I couldn’t continue existing meaninglessly. It was excruciating.
I also hadn’t fucked anyone in over seven months, and was pretty sure my balls were about to fall off.
I paced the street, back and forth. A new feeling I had yet to experience trickled into me as the hours ticked by: doubt.
It’s been too long.
It’s too soon to start trying.
She’s moved on.
This was unchartered territory for me, as I was usually sure of everything I did, down to my meals for the next month or two.
By hour four, I started getting really pissed off. The idiot kid at the reception must’ve been wrong. It was close to late afternoon and still no Hallie.
I marched back into the parlor, slapping my palms over her counter again. This time, I created two small ponds of water. I was soaking wet, to the fucking bone.
“When’s she coming?” I demanded.
The girl looked up from her iPad, completely unfazed. “Who?”
What a moron…
“Hallie,” I said through gritted teeth. “Hallie Thorne.”
“Oh.” She clapped her hands together. “Yeah, she’s been here for a while now, came in through the employee entrance.”
Back. Fucking. Door. Of course.
My eyes traveled up. I spotted her behind a dividing wall. She stood there, her scarlet hair swirled into a half-assed bun, sweeping the floor in simple denim and a bodysuit that highlighted her curves—and tattoos.
I wanted to hug her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to—
“Sir? Sir? You’re dripping all over the floor. And you look…kind of blue? Purple? Are you okay?”
Was I okay? I couldn’t feel my toes or fingers, and my right ear was numb. Otherwise I was fine.
“Hallie!” I called out. The place was still packed, and I looked less than the dashing prince she deserved. She looked up and stopped whistling to the song playing in the background.
Her entire expression melted. I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. Was she happy? Sad? Annoyed to see me?
“What are you doing here?” She narrowed her eyes.
Shit. Annoyed, then.
“We need to talk.”
She leaned the broom against a wall and walked over to the reception desk. I was aware of the intrigued audience following our interaction.
“No, we don’t.” She leaned one hip against the counter.
The need to touch her charred my fingertips.
“Hallie—”
“I told you not to contact me.” Her face was still, but her voice quivered. It surprised me that she looked exactly as I remembered her. And yet, I couldn’t stop looking. Couldn’t get enough. Nothing made any sense.
“You’ve said a lot of things I don’t think you meant,” I said softly. “You said you were a failure, and that was bullshit. That you were stupid—you are the smartest person I know. You said no one wants you.”
“That one’s still true.” She spread her arms in the air, smiling winningly.
“Someone does want you.”
An exasperated laugh rose from the bottom of her belly. “Right.” And then. “Who?”
“Me.”
I stared at her expectantly. The entire parlor was doing the same. She looked at me blankly, waiting for more. I took a deep breath.
“Look, I stayed away, but it’s been miserable for me. I missed you so much.” The words clogged my throat. “Actually, I think I missed you even before I knew you ever existed. But now that we’ve met, it’s become impossible to move on. I tried to go back to my old life. To be The Robot again. I can’t. I’m not a robot. I haven’t been that robot for a long time now. Because of you. You have to believe me, I didn’t stay away because it was easy. I did it because I thought I was doing right by you.”
“So what brings you here?” she taunted, but her eyes were shining, her shoulders slumped. “You decided you no longer care about doing what’s right by me?”
“No,” I groaned. Everything was freezing in my body, and I suspected I was spiking a fever. “I realized it was all bullshit. That we both needed to see each other, at least one more time, to see if we could make it work.”
“We can’t make it work,” Hallie said with conviction. “You put yourself before me. I could have been killed. And by the way, you’re blue.”
Ignoring the last part, I said, “I knew nothing would happen to you.”
“How?”
“Because I was fucking crazy about you!” I threw my arms in the air, frustrated. “I didn’t leave you out of my sight for one second. The only time you were not right next to me was the time they took you, and even then, as soon as I realized something was amiss, I ripped this fucking city to shreds in order to find you.”
She opened her mouth, about to say something, then clapped it shut.
“I think you should go,” she said finally.
“Hallie—”
“You said we needed to see each other one more time to find out if it could work. You got your answer. It can’t. I want you to leave.” Tears made her eyes shine. “Respect my wishes and leave.”
I wanted to die a million times over.
But I couldn’t say no to her.
I turned around and began making my way outside. I didn’t have a plan or another destination in mind. At some point, I was going to strangle my best friend’s wife for misleading me, but other than that, no goal.
I walked out to the rain. My feet and clothes were heavy. The street was empty, save for a few cars sailing by and an out-of-service traffic light that signaled the beginning of a brewing storm.
About to round a corner, I heaved myself forward. Behind me I heard the echo of a voice. I needed to get to the hospital. Something wasn’t right.
“Wait! Stop!”
Hallie’s voice rang in my ears. It sounded like it was coming from the inside of my body. Shit. I was hallucinating. I needed to hail a taxi and hurl myself into the ER.
I stopped walking, calling a taxi on my phone. The app was down. Figures.
Something tackled into me from behind. I lurched forward, almost falling straight into traffic. A desperate hand tugged me back to safety, pulling me with it back to the curb.
“I called you! Didn’t you hear me?”
I blinked to get the person who spoke to me into focus. It was Hallie. Definitely Hallie. Her face animated and annoyed. Beautiful. And I’d lost her.
“I didn’t hear,” I said quietly.
Rain was pouring down on both of us with no shelter in sight. I was sure I looked pathetic. But for some reason, it didn’t bother me so much.
“Did you really mean what you said?” she panted, out of breath. “About wanting me?”