揧ou can just toss them or whatever. I just wanted you to see them, so you didn抰 think I was creepily sketching pictures of you and tucking them away like some sort of obsess棓
I cut her off by bringing my lips down on hers. She squeaks her surprise and then flings her arms around my neck.
揑 like them,?I say.
22
DAISY
I don抰 have a tree house at home, but my equivalent happy spot is the formal living room on the first floor. Bookcases line one wall, overflowing with textbooks and a few fiction titles. It抯 a dark room off the west side of the house with old furniture in like-new condition. The only person that ever used this room was me. And it seems that hasn抰 changed.
With my sketchbook and phone, I sit cross-legged in the oversized leather chair. When I was younger, I抎 hide away in here. My parents would be upstairs in their offices or in the TV room, laptops in front of them as they caught bits and pieces of their favorite shows.
They seem to be working less since I抳e been home but existing in our own corners of the house is par for the course. I like having my own space, but too much of it is lonely.
I抳e been home for six days, and if tomorrow wasn抰 Christmas Eve, I抎 be nervous that I抎 die of boredom. Our traditional activities include Violet抯 family, as well as Grandma and Grandpa Johnson, coming here. We抣l do our annual ham dinner, followed by exchanging presents. Aunt Serina arranges everything, but we do it in Flagstaff because she thinks it feels more festive here with the colder weather.
There isn抰 snow on the ground yet, but there抯 a chance of it tonight. I pull back the curtain to stare out into the dreary winter weather. Cold air seeps through the glass.
I haven抰 talked to Jordan, but I抳e been thinking about him. Today especially. It抯 the two-year anniversary of his friend抯 death, and I know whatever he抯 doing, it抯 with Mark on his mind.
Mom steps into the room and smiles at me. 揇o you want some headphones??
I glance down at my phone. Out of habit, I抳e started listening to music anytime I抦 sketching or studying.
揘o, I抦 good.?
Her brows pull together in confusion.
揑抣l turn it down,?I say.
揟hanks. Your dad is grading final exams.?
I forgot the one house rule梥ilence. If I had been the kind of kid that wanted to get in trouble, I could have easily accomplished it so long as I did it quietly. Sometimes this house feels more like a library than a home.
When I抦 alone again, I pick up my phone and turn off the music. Trying not to overthink it, I text Jordan. Hi. Hope you抮e having a good break. Thinking of you today. X
I warm up dinner, rummage the liquor cabinet, and take my food and drink back to my comfy chair.
Jordan FaceTimes me as I抦 settling in. My pulse races as I answer.
揌ey,?I say as his face fills the screen.
Eyes hooded, beanie pulled down over his ears, he smiles lazily back at me. 揌i, sweet Daisy.?
揑 wondered why you were calling instead of texting, but I think I see now.?
His eyes practically close when he smiles. I抳e seen Jordan drunk enough to know that he抯 had way, way more than usual.
揥here are you??
揝omeone抯 house. I don抰 remember whose now. We started drinking early, bounced around a few places.?
揂re you doing okay??
揧eah,?he says, but it doesn抰 sound very convincing. 揥hat are you up to??
換uiet night in.?I lift my glass of vodka and Sprite to show him.
揅heers,?he says and brings his beer up to the screen. Music starts up in the background, and the lights go off in favor of a flashing red, blue, and green disco ball.
Someone yells something, and a chorus of voices call, 揊or Mark.?
揥e抳e been doing a shot every hour,?he explains.
揝ince when??
揊uck, I don抰 know. Noon.?
揗aybe you should switch to water.?
揧ou抮e right. I should hydrate. I抦 gonna have a wicked hangover.?He struggles to get up, but he navigates through the house until he reaches the kitchen. He fills a glass and chugs it. Then, he goes right back to drinking his beer, but well, I tried.
Instead of going back to the party, he goes outside. It抯 harder to see him, but it抯 quieter.
His breath is visible as he speaks. 揑 head back to Valley on Thursday.?
揅hristmas Day??
揧eah. I抣l wait until the afternoon, but we do most of our celebrating on Christmas Eve anyway.?
揑抦 jealous. I抦 already bored.?
揅ome back this weekend. We have home games, and I抦 sure there抣l be a party or two happening somewhere.?
I laugh it off, but my brain runs with the possibility of it. I never considered going back early, but it does sound pretty great.
The noise from inside is louder, and Jordan lifts his beer and chugs.
揑t抯 cold out.?His shoulders lift around his ears.
揈ven colder here. There抯 a chance of snow tonight.?
揊uck that,?he says.
I can tell he抯 antsy to get back inside.
揂re you going to be okay? Do I need to come take care of you like you did for me??
His deep chuckle seems to have a direct connection to the butterflies in my stomach.
揑 can probably manage to find a bed or couch to pass out on, but if you want to come strip down in your white cotton panties, you抣l hear no objection from me.?
揘ight, Jordan.?
揘ight, sweet Daisy.?
Violet finds me in my room when she arrives the next night.
揌ey.?She peeks in from the doorway.
I rush to hug her. 揑 missed you.?
揝ame. It抯 weird not seeing you every day.?
I love that college has brought Violet and me closer. And she抯 right. I抳e gotten up to go talk to her so many times since I抳e been home only to remember where I am.
揑 was thinking of going back to Valley this weekend.?
Violet laughs. 揌as it been that bad??
揘o. They抮e just busy and?you know what they抮e like. And I miss our house.?
揝ame.?She links her arm through mine and rests her head on my shoulder. 揌ey, your parents adore you. I know they don抰 show it the same way mine do, but they are always bragging about you. My dad is all, 慏aisy抯 parents said she抯 taking eighteen credit hours this semester. How come you抮e only taking twelve?挃
Laughter escapes my lips. Being quiet, being smart, and being an overachiever are the things that make my parents happy. Like it or not, they shaped who I am. And I like myself.
揟hanks for telling me.?
揙f course. And, hey, at least your parents haven抰 spent the entire break asking why you抮e no longer interested in seeing your old friends from high school.?
揤i, not all jocks are shitty.?
揑 know.?
I tilt my head to the side.
揑 know,?she repeats. 揃ut I抦 not the same person I was in high school.?
We settle on my bed, facing one another.
揥hat are you going to do in Valley??she asks.
揑 don抰 know. Reorganize my closet, clean out our fridge, go to a hockey game.?
揑 knew it,?she says, eyes widening. 揧ou抮e going back for Liam.?
揘o.?
She grins like she doesn抰 believe me. 揌ave you been talking to him this break??
I hesitate, and she gasps. 揙h my gosh, you have!?
My phone lights up with a text, and my cheeks heat because I know it抯 Jordan. Just my freaking luck.
We both glance at it. It抯 too far away for her to read the name or text. She lunges for my phone. It抯 locked, but I still swipe it and hold it up to my chest. 揑 haven抰 been talking to Liam.?
揟hen who is it, because you are blushing so hard. I know it isn抰 Dahlia or Jane.?