Then he was back.
“Are you still sure you want to do this?” he asked, stretching out over me.
I opened my legs wider, so he could wedge himself between my thighs. “Yes.”
“Because now is the time if—”
“You know, Oliver, I really didn’t imagine all this pushback. I sort of thought you’d just do it without talking.”
“I’m not allowed to talk?”
“No. I just need an uncomplicated dick for this.”
“Jesus.” He reached between us and sort of aimed the tip of his erection between my legs, like he was about to shoot a rocket through a hoop. “This has to be the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever done.”
“Just do it,” I said breathlessly. “Blair will worry if I’m not back at the bar soon.”
He did it. Didn’t take long, I have to say.
Not that I didn’t enjoy it some. The truth was, it felt good being skin to skin with Oliver. His body was warm and strong, and he smelled salty and masculine. It didn’t even hurt as much as I’d thought it would.
But I defiantly blocked myself off from any flutter of pleasure within me. I didn’t want to enjoy this too much. The point of having sex with Oliver wasn’t to satisfy my own desire. It was to satisfy my curiosity. Cross virginity off my list.
So I didn’t move like my body wanted to, I held my tongue rather than echo the hot, abandoned sounds Oliver was making, I turned my head to the side when his lips came close to mine and told me he was going to come. For the next several seconds, his body went still, and I felt a faint pulsing inside me I refused to focus on.
Then it was done. Exactly as I’d planned.
Except … something wasn’t right. We lay there afterward, Oliver’s chest on mine, his breathing hard and fast, his lips grazing my temple. Then he dropped his head, burying his face in my neck. He kissed my throat. I swallowed hard.
I wasn’t feeling as closed off from the experience as I’d hoped I would. I’d envisioned this being more like a business transaction, but my stomach was all knotted up. I was torn between wanting to tell Oliver that my rules were stupid and if he wanted to call me, he could, and sticking to the original plan.
“Chloe,” he said quietly. “Maybe we could—”
“I can’t breathe,” I said, pushing on his chest. “Can I get up?”
“Oh … sure.” He got off me, and I quickly slipped out of bed.
Oliver and I dressed in silence, although I felt him looking at me like there was something he wanted to say. I didn’t know what to hope for.
On the walk back to the bar, it was colder outside than it had been on the walk to the dorm.
“Want my jacket?” he asked me.
“No. I’m good.” I wasn’t good, I was freezing, but I never would have worn Oliver’s jacket before we had sex, so I wouldn’t wear it afterward. I didn’t want him to think I expected anything more than I’d asked for. Instead, I pulled my hands inside my sweater sleeves.
He stuck his hands in his pockets. It was a few minutes before he spoke again. “So was it what you thought?”
“I guess.”
“And you’re … okay?”
“I’m fine.”
We walked in silence for a while. My mind was spinning with all kinds of thoughts, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Truth be told, I was a little scared I’d say something I shouldn’t. Something I’d regret. I had this weird pit in my stomach, as if I didn’t want to say goodbye. As if I’d miss him. As if we were closer than we’d been before.
I had to stick to the rules, or I risked ending up with feelings for Oliver I did not want. I knew how he treated girls he dated, and I would never be one of those girls. He didn’t respect them. He certainly didn’t love them. He only cared about having a good time in the moment and moving on.
I never wanted to be the girl he left behind.
7
Chloe
NOW
Oliver found me on the deck about twenty minutes after I stormed out of the living room, lying in one of the chaise lounges and scowling up at the stars.
“This a private party?” he asked, dropping onto the chaise next to mine.
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m crashing it.” He stretched out on his back, folding his arms over his chest. “Beautiful out here. So peaceful.”
“It was.”
“Come on, Chloe. Can’t we find a way to work together? Let bygones be bygones and all that?”
“I’m not sure.”
He scratched his head and crossed his arms again. “Look. I can’t change the past, but I can try to make it up to you. Let’s put aside our differences and work together. Let me help you realize your dream. I know it would feel more satisfying to tell me to fuck off and do it on your own, but don’t be stubborn, okay? Be smart.”
I looked at him incredulously. “I am being smart, Oliver. My head is telling me not to forget all the stupid things you’ve conned me into doing in the past. My gut says you can’t be trusted. My heart says—”
“What?” he interrupted, leaning toward me. He put a hand on my arm. “What does your heart say? Be honest.”
I jerked my arm out of his reach and stared at him in the dark. “My heart is undecided.”
“So let me convince you.” Oliver’s voice softened. “Give me a chance to show you why partnering up is the smartest, easiest, quickest way for us both to get what we want.”
“And how’s that going to work?” I asked. “By me coming down to Detroit to toil away in your distilleries with you calling all the shots?”
“Not at all.” He paused. “Take a trip with me.”
“What?” I squawked. “Are you nuts?”
“Maybe.” He laughed. “But take a trip with me. There’s something I really want you to see, and a story I need to tell you.”
“What’s the story?”
“First say you’ll do it.”
“Where’s the trip to?”
“It’s not far.”
“You’re not giving me much to go on.”
“I know, but I promise it will make sense in the end if you just say yes in the beginning. Please, Chloe.” He reached over and touched me again—my leg this time, the top of my thigh. “I want to do this together.”
“You had your chance at that. You blew it.”
“Don’t you believe in second chances?”
He sounded sincere, and I let him leave his hand on my leg, but something was bothering me. “Why now? Why, all of a sudden, do you want to do this with me?”
“Because you’re great at what you do. I know what you’ve accomplished here in terms of the marketing campaigns for Cloverleigh, from the wines to the inn to the wedding business. You’re ambitious and creative and sharp, and I know you’re a hard worker. And to be fair, it’s not really all of a sudden. I’d have reached out sooner, but it felt more prudent to let some time go by, given the … circumstances.”
The flattery wasn’t lost on me, but I was silent for the moment, trying to do what Ken said and let things sink in before giving my answer. While I was ruminating, Oliver went on.