I’m silent.
“They do what I tell them to.” The threat is there, but my gut tells me it’s an empty one. I don’t believe he’d make them do anything to me. After all, it’s been a week since I arrived and not one person has bothered me. Though if they didn’t know about my involvement in their leader’s life, they probably do now. The possibility of their fake interest after this leaves me a little uneasy.
He grabs my salad and tosses it behind him, letting the contents scatter across the floor. My lips part in shock when I see my lunch laying wasted in between the tables of peers surrounding us.
I will not cry.
Locking my jaw to keep me from saying a word, I watch him reach into his pocket and throw five dollars down on the center of the table. He stands up and gives me a displeased once over before shaking his head.
Ignoring the mess he made, he turns around and calls out, “Go buy some fucking pizza,” before leaving the room.
Refusing to meet people’s stares, I stand up and leave the five-dollar bill behind before exiting through the glass side door. Maybe someone else could use it to buy lunch.
When the sun hits my face, I wish I had my sunglasses to protect my sensitive eyes. They’re in my backpack which is stuffed in my locker. Sitting in the shade beneath a sad looking oak tree in the courtyard, I listen the distant chatter of students who are probably talking about the little cafeteria showdown that just occurred.
Frowning, all I can think is, screw you, Kaiden Monroe.
Shortly before my diagnosis, I’d dropped twenty-five pounds without meaning to. Besides cheer, I didn’t do much else for exercise. Sometimes the squad ran the track at school or used the weight room, but I ate more than any of them. They always envied how tiny I stayed.
Weight has been a sore subject since. One of the doctors I went to made Mama step out of the room before telling me it was a safe space to admit what I was doing. He thought I wouldn’t say I had an eating disorder if she were around. He didn’t believe me, just like the string of other doctors that didn’t.
Mama wrapped me in her arms as soon as we had gotten home. She was worried and sad for me, and angry at the doctor. That was before she shut down, grieving for Lo too much to care about anyone else.
After being diagnosed with lupus, it was like Mama gave up on me because she thought there was nothing left to do. I suppose I gave up on her just as much, pushing her away on the rare occasion she did reach out. When Grandma calls and asks how I’m doing, I’ll always divert the conversation back to Mama.
Tell her I’m not dead yet is how I ended our last conversation when she told me Mama would come around in her own time.
Someone sits beside me on the ground and drops a five-dollar bill in my lap. Looking up expecting to see Kaiden glaring, I’m surprised by the long locks of chestnut brown hair instead.
Rachel isn’t looking at me. “I think we both know it isn’t a good idea to ignore him. At least pretend you bought something with it.”
I stare down at the crisp bill. “Why are you talking to me?”
“Because Kaiden’s an idiot.”
My eyes widen.
She sighs. “He only did that because Danny Walsh from the lacrosse team commented on how tiny you are and then got the guys talking about what they’d do to your body. One guy said he could wrap one hand around your waist while he screws you from behind.”
My cheeks prickle with heat as I look to the ground. “I don’t see why he felt the need to cause a scene like that all because boys were talking about me. That’s just…”
“It’s what Kaiden does.” She says it in an exasperated tone. “He threatened the guys in the locker room and then made a point in the cafeteria that he’s the only one allowed to mess with you.”
Am I supposed to be thankful?
She shakes her head. “He just gave you his protection. You should be glad.”
High schoolers shouldn’t need protection from each other. Then again, look at Riley. Nobody has said anything more about her since Kaiden told me what happened, so I wonder if their silence was another royal decree.
I extend my legs out in front of me. “I’m not sure why you’re telling me any of this. What’s in it for you?”
Her laugh is airy. “I know everyone thinks I’m a total moron, but you know what? It’s easier to be a fly on the wall when people don’t think you’re capable of listening in.”
I blink in surprise.
She grins at me. “I like Kaiden. He and I have been on and off for a long time. The more popular he gets the more girls want him. But he keeps me around.”
“He insults you.”
“He’s Kaiden.”
If that’s supposed to justify how he talks to her, I’m not sure what to say. I don’t know Rachel, but anyone deserves better than that. Even if he has his own methods of keeping control of people, it isn’t right.
“Anyway,” she disregards, “I don’t have to worry about those girls. He isn’t interested in them. And, frankly, I’d like to think he isn’t into you, but I can’t be too sure.”
I gape at her. “Our parents are married.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t you get it? If anyone gets what they want no matter the situation, it’s Kaiden. He could feed you to the sharks if he wants to, but he hasn’t yet.”
Yet. Wonderful.
“So, I’ll play nice. For now.” She shrugs casually, like there’s no threat behind her words. I’m not sure what she’d do if she thought I was somehow in her way.
“I don’t like Kaiden,” I state firmly.
She stands up and glances down at me with a smile painted on her face. “I believe you, Emery. However, Kaiden has a way of getting under people’s skin one way or another. And, unfortunately, he’s willing to take on an entire sports team for you.”
“So?”
She flips her hair over her shoulder. “I guess we’ll just see how long it takes before things change. He wouldn’t even sleep with me when I came over the other day. I was bored out of my mind.” Pointing toward the money next to me, she adds, “You might want to go to the vending machine or something. He won’t care if it’s not pizza you get as long as you eat.”
When she starts walking away, I call out her name. “You never really said why you’re talking to me. I get that you like Kaiden, but if he wants everyone to leave me alone, then why warn me about him?”
She adjusts her purse on her arm. “If Kaiden likes you that means you’re competition.”
It won’t matter what I say to her about what I am to him. She already thinks I’m someone to look out for because of him standing up for me. If it means having enemies over, I’ll be sure to tell him to throw me to the sharks. I’d rather go down on my own terms anyway.
Rachel leaves without another word, and from the hallway window, I see Kaiden staring. He doesn’t look angry. He looks…amused. I’m afraid to find out what’s so funny.
When I meet him at his car at the end of the day, I get in, buckle up, and drop the five-dollar bill onto his lap.
He stares at me.
“I wanted my salad.”