“No.” He turns to leave.
Instead of letting him, I grab his wrist. “I know you’re hurting, Kaiden. But you need to understand that Cam loves you. There’s no reason why you should blame her for losing your father. It’s not her fault. He was sick.”
His eye twitches.
“Sickness isn’t pretty,” I whisper. “It makes the person you love more than anything in the world into somebody different. It isn’t just a physical transformation, but a mental and emotional one. When it takes over, there’s very little in their control they can do. Whether you want to give Cam the time of day or not, you need to know that your father didn’t want you seeing him like that. And you know what?” I take a deep breath and shake my head. “It’s ugly. Watching someone you love die from illness is hideous and heartbreaking and so many other things.
“Think what you want of your mother, but she was just doing what your father asked. The people who have to witness watching the people they look up to die so brutally are never the same. Cam saved you from that. So did your father.”
He’s quiet. His gaze isn’t hard or soft, but somewhere in between. I like to think he’s considering what I’ve said, like maybe he’s accepting that I know what I’m talking about.
And I do.
Disease is the monster in the dark. It lingers, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It veers its ugly head and takes what it wants, when it wants.
Yet, there’s one disease that is worse than any kind of invisible illness in existence and it is something the world is plagued with.
Indifference.
When Kaiden drives us home, he doesn’t leave right away. Instead, he gives Cam a barely-there smile before disappearing into his room.
Chapter Fourteen
The next few weeks are peacefully mundane. I go to all my classes and don’t miss another Book Club. My headaches come and go, and so do the aches and pains. For the most part, everything is tolerable.
Tolerable is contentment.
Kaiden doesn’t actively seek out Cam, but he hasn’t completely ignored her either. Sometimes he’ll answer her about school or thank her for breakfast. It’s strange how so little could mean so much to a person, but I can tell Cam is over the moon whenever he tells her goodbye before school or goodnight before bed.
He won’t talk about his father.
He won’t even talk about himself.
It’s a step in the right direction though.
One night when Cam and Dad announce they have to go to a work function for Dad’s company, Kaiden asks if I want to go to the cemetery. It’s cooler out, so I’d have to bundle in layers, but going to the tree sounds like the perfect way to end the night.
When we get there, I’m surprised when he pulls out a thick blanket from the back. He gives me a small shrug before guiding us to the spot and resting the blanket on the cold grass.
The sun is setting, the crickets are singing, and everything around us is tranquil. It helps me ease into the blanket and close my eyes, not caring what Cam or Dad are doing, or what’s going through Kaiden’s mind beside me.
“Do you miss her?”
One of my lids pops open. “Who?”
“Your sister.”
“Every single day.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Does it get any easier?”
I could lie to him. “No,” I answer honestly. “No matter what, she’s still gone. That part doesn’t really get any better. It’s just about figuring out how to move on from it.”
My attention turns to his fidgeting, like he wants to ask how but refuses to. I sigh, knowing he’s too stubborn for his own good.
Drawing my knees up, I tug on the oversized sweatshirt I put on. “You need to find something to take your mind off it. I like to read. I’m sure sports will help.”
“He loved lacrosse.”
“Your dad?”
A head nod.
Surprise flickers across my features, but I try masking it. “Did you guys practice together?”
I swear his lips tilt upward, but when I blink there’s no evidence of a smile. “Yeah. He used to play when he was my age, so that’s how I got into it. Sometimes he would take me to the batting cages too because he was a big baseball person.”
“Are you?”
“Nah.” He clears his throat. “I just went because it made him happy.”
We fall to silence.
The wind picks up and shuffles my hair in my face. It’s easier to do now that it’s shorter. It hasn’t grown any, but also hasn’t fallen out since taking extra vitamins and using the fancy shampoo Cam got me. It’s a win, I guess.
“I wish I could visit Lo.” It’s probably random, but I can tell he isn’t interested in offering up any more information about his dad.
“You could.”
“It’s a long drive.”
“I could…” He trails off.
I stare at him.
He grumbles. “I could take you.”
A smile cracks across my lips. “I appreciate that, but it’s okay. Maybe I’ll see if Dad could drop me off during school break. I think it’ll be good if I see Mama and Grandma.”
He stretches his long legs out. “Don’t you regret coming here? Your family is hours away from here, you don’t have any friends, and you don’t really do anything but read when you’re at home.”
I consider my answer. “No, I don’t regret it. You wouldn’t understand, Kaiden. Mama was really struggling to cope and me being there wasn’t what was best. I don’t fault her for it…” Anymore. “Because I know that it must be hard.”
“It’d be hard for anyone.”
“Like Cam?”
He sighs. “Yeah, like my mom.”
At least he accepts that.
“Break is coming up,” he notes.
“Yep.”
“So…are you going to leave?”
I laugh. “You sound sad.”
“You sound surprised,” he counters.
“You don’t exactly like me, Kaiden.”
His eyes pierce mine. “I don’t dislike you either, Mouse.”
The nickname has become oddly endearing, and I’m not sure what that means. It’s a sign though—a good one. Like maybe Dad could be right about Kaiden and me being there for one another.
“Are you saying I’m tolerable?”
He grunts. “Not if you keep fishing for compliments. You sound like Rachel.”
I fake gasp. Rachel hasn’t bothered me in a while, and I wonder if it’s because Kaiden has ignored me. Sometimes she’ll glance at me in English or if we pass by each other in the hall.
“I think you like me Kaiden Monroe.”
He doesn’t say anything.
He doesn’t deny it either.
“You know it’s your fault,” I say.
His eyebrow quirks.
I run my hands across the rough material of the blanket. “People are probably scared to talk to me because they think King Kaiden will do something to them.”
“It’s for—”
“You don’t want me being bullied,” I cut him off. “Fine, I appreciate the concern you won’t admit to having for me. But you can’t keep reminding me that I have nobody here because you’re the reason for it.”