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What Lies in the Woods(60)

Author:Kate Alice Marshall

“That was an interesting speech Cass gave,” Ethan said.

“It was good,” I said. “I thought Cass would sugarcoat things, but it was honest.”

“I thought it was interesting that she never mentioned you,” Ethan said carefully. “If you didn’t know the whole story, you would think that something terrible happened to the two of them, and you didn’t even exist.”

“It’s not about me. It’s about Olivia,” I countered. Ethan shrugged. “What? You think Cass is cutting me out?”

“Why weren’t you invited to speak? You said yourself that you and Olivia talked multiple times a week. So why is Cass the ‘best friend’ and you don’t even warrant a mention?”

“This isn’t about getting credit,” I said. “What are you getting at?”

“I’m just thinking … I don’t know. You’ve been gone a long time. Who you are to these people might have changed. Or it might never have been what you thought.”

I thought of Meredith Green’s anger, Marcus’s restrained hostility. I’d been an outcast all my life, until I almost died. Then Chester had embraced me—but had they? Or did they only want the story of the girl who survived and not the prickly, troublesome person inconveniently attached to it?

“Cass can be a bit tricky, but she’s one of my best friends,” I said. The last one living.

“You’re the one who thought she might have lied about seeing Oscar,” Ethan pointed out.

I ground my back teeth together. “And?”

“You don’t think that anymore?”

“I don’t know,” I said. I couldn’t tell what I thought at this point. “Maybe I’m just seeing things that aren’t there.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Ethan said. “And in your position, I’d be asking myself if that friendship of yours goes both ways.”

We’d reached the motel. I slammed on the brakes harder than I needed to, glaring at him. “I would not have survived without Cass,” I said.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be grateful that she found help.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” I said. “I’m talking about after. I could barely function, much less talk about what had happened, and it was all anyone wanted from me. She protected me. She was eleven and she did a better job of getting in the way of reporters and busybodies than my own dad. Liv and I were both falling apart, and Cass held us together with her bare hands and sheer force of will.”

I could have told him about the nights she’d sneaked over so that I wouldn’t have to sleep alone in my bed or when she’d punched Grayson Talbot in the mouth for calling me Frankenstein. I wouldn’t have made it to adulthood without Cass Green.

“You know her best,” Ethan acknowledged, but it was half-assed.

“Yeah, I do,” I said. I set my jaw. “I’ll see you after.”

“See you soon,” he agreed. I pulled away the second the car door shut.

Who did he think he was? Cass was my friend, always had been.

Almost everyone loved Cass. She was beautiful, charming. She made you work to impress her, and there was something thrilling about succeeding. But there had always been some subset of people who didn’t get her. She scared them, or they only saw the hard edges and none of her generosity and charm. They thought she was bossy, a term that mysteriously only ever seemed to be applied to girls.

We’d needed that bossiness. Liv and I couldn’t make a decision to save our lives, sometimes, but Cass always had something for us to do. We’d gone along with her demands, however outlandish, because she was the best at creating the magic. Making us believe.

Later, it had been a blessing. When I was flunking math, she’d bullied me into doing my homework, showing up with worksheets and a graphing calculator and stealing the TV remote. After Liv got home from the hospital, it had been Cass who was there to boss her into showering and eating until she stabilized and could take care of herself again.

So I’d never much minded that there were those people who didn’t get Cass. But it bothered me that Ethan was one of them, and as I pulled up to the house I was glad he hadn’t come with me.

The Green family’s house was the biggest in Chester. It was an old Colonial-style, wildly out of place in this area. Big Jim had built it back when the mill was in full swing, right after he’d won his first mayoral race.

The drive was clotted up with a dozen cars—the gathering was bigger than I’d expected. I made my way up to the front door, and when I rang the bell Amanda opened it, looking polished and somber and perfect with her blond hair and little black slip dress, a black ribbon in her hair to match.

“Hello, Ms. Shaw,” she said, with painful formality. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“You used to call me Aunt Namie,” I told her, eyebrow raised. “When did you get all sophisticated?”

She flushed, looking borderline panicked by the attention. She might look like Cass’s clone, I thought, but Cass had never been timid. I tried to look friendly, but it wasn’t my strong suit. I cleared my throat, thanked her for letting me in, and left before I could traumatize her any further.

The cavernous living room was the hub of activity. Meredith sat on the couch next to a dull-eyed Kimiko. Marcus was over by the side table, a glass of red wine in hand. When he saw me his perpetual frown deepened.

I stood frozen in the foyer. I hadn’t been asked to speak at the funeral. Marcus and Kimiko hadn’t invited me here—Cass had. Was I even welcome?

I stiffened my spine. Why the fuck shouldn’t I be here? I walked across the room, straight to Marcus, and put out my hand. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” I said.

He looked down at my hand for a long moment before he reached out and shook it. “Thank you,” he said mechanically.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t think to ask if I could say a few words at the memorial,” I added, trying not to glance over to see who was watching me. Trying not to feel like every eye in the room was trained on me. “Liv was remarkable. She changed my life. I don’t know who I would be without her.”

His jaw tightened. “She thought the world of you,” he said.

I swallowed hard. Tears sprang to my eyes; I willed them away. You didn’t cry in front of people. You didn’t show how you could be hurt. “I wish that I’d done more to deserve that.”

He started to say something, then stopped himself. Kimiko appeared, sliding her hand into the crook of his arm. “Excuse us, Naomi,” she said. She drew him away even as a hand fluttered to my shoulder. I managed not to whirl around, but my stomach jolted as I turned.

Cody’s wife was standing behind me, holding out a glass of white wine like an offering. “You look like you could use this,” she said in a musical voice. I accepted it. I preferred red, but right now I just wanted something to hold so I could look less awkward.

“It’s Gabriella, right?” I asked her.

“Gabby, please. And you’re the infamous Naomi Cunningham.”

“Infamous might be overstating it,” I said, taking a sip.

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