For a moment, without him filling me, I could breathe fully, and I let my head fall against his chest, nestling beneath his chin. “Bastian… I’m yours.”
I’d said it before, but this time…
His eyebrows squeezed together, and his fingers tightened around my thigh, and I knew he understood.
This time, there was only us.
No Robin. No contract that said I belonged to anyone else.
In every possible sense I was my own woman and I could say what I gave, if anything, to anyone else.
And I was Bastian’s.
I chose him.
And now no one could get in the way of that.
“Yes, you are.” His canines flashed as he pulled me down his dick, wringing a strangled cry from me. “Mine, Katherine. Mine.” He said it with each thrust, gaze flicking between mine and the point where he disappeared into me.
The pleasure in me soared, no longer building—that was a mundane, limited thing—but flying higher and higher, untethered by anything so tedious as gravity, almost at the sun.
“And I’m yours.” He said it savagely, like he dared the world to tear us apart again. “Yours,” he bellowed as he filled me so thoroughly, I thought I might die from it.
I reached that bright and obliterating place, body burning up with pleasure, heart too full, mind fractured and unable to hold things like fear or thought.
All I knew was Bastian’s body locked with mine in ferocious joy, and my fingers digging into his arms like that would stop me spinning away into space entirely.
He went rigid as he gushed into me with a hoarse cry, joining me in the overwhelming oneness of us.
Slowly, like a feather, I drifted back to earth. Slick and sticky with sweat, we caught our breath. He smiled and kissed my shoulder as he lifted me off himself and watched as his come spilled from me.
I bit my lip, something fascinating about the sight. I felt at once completely powerful and utterly filthy, like maybe the second of those two things wasn’t bad like I’d been told but actually a secret path to the first one.
“Katherine,” he murmured against my skin, “I love you. Beyond all reason. Beyond all control. Beyond everything. I love you.”
My heart didn’t just skip—it tripped and fell. I broke away from the mirror and turned in his lap, meeting his gaze directly. “And I love you. There is no reason when I’m with you. I give up control. I give you everything, and I love that you give everything right back.”
We kissed, slow and deep—deep enough to touch my weary, broken soul.
And perhaps Bastian’s hobby wasn’t only contained to his workroom, because I felt a little less broken than I had before coming to Tenebris.
Eventually, he pulled away, cupping my cheek. “We should have a wash and get ready.”
I scoffed and nudged my nose to his. “I was ready until someone had other ideas.”
“I can’t imagine what you’re talking about.” He grinned. “We have time for a shower… together.”
The promise of it fluttered through me. Bastian had a shower in his bathroom and its warm rain was my new favourite thing. The water spilling over my body and my scalp was like a thousand touches, and the first time I’d used it, it had brought me to my knees.
I glanced at the orrery on the mantelpiece. Barely enough time. Though a glint in his eye told me that he was ready for more.
Eyes narrowed, I pressed a hand to his chest. “Just a shower.”
78
Kat
It was not just a shower.
And we were late to the meeting.
But Prince Sepher and Zita didn’t seem to mind. In fact, while pouring coffee, she invited me to their bed. I chuckled to myself about that the next day as I walked through the city to Kaliban’s house, taking a break from research.
When he opened the door, he eyed me and the basket of food. “You do remember I can’t take your memories, right? Or has your mind broken and you’ve forgotten?”
“I remember. Are you going to let me in?”
He made a low sound but let me pass. “Why are you here, then?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged and placed the basket on the side as he watched me from the doorway. “Maybe I just can’t get enough of your outstanding hospitality.”
He grumbled in the way Morag did when I was hardest to love. “I suppose you’re going to want tea, aren’t you?”
“See? That’s exactly what I mean. So welcoming.”
Filling the kettle, he muttered, “You’re almost as sarcastic as…” As he put it on the stove, his words faded into silence and a tightness pulled around his features, making my heart clench in response.
The slippers. His partner must’ve been sarcastic too. Maybe his prickliness was understandable.
“I got you some cake.” I held it up as I emptied the basket. “Lemon drizzle—one of the queens of cake, if you ask me.”
He raised his eyebrows, peering at the wrapped loaf cake. “One of the queens? You have… some sort of ranking system for cakes?”
“It’s more a hierarchy. But doesn’t everyone?”
Eyes narrowing, he canted his head. “I’m sure I’m going to regret asking, but… what is your hierarchy of cakes?”
I gestured with the bunch of kale I was putting away. “So, the queens are top tier. Obviously, they’re lemon drizzle, coffee cake （without walnuts）， and lemon tarts.”
“Oh, obviously.”
“And pastries are included. It would be ridiculous to have a whole separate system for those.”
“Yes, that would be the ridiculous part.”
I pointed a carrot at him. “Don’t think I missed the way you eyed it. You know she’s a queen. And I know you’re dying to get your hands on a slice.” I finished putting the food away and dusted off my hands. “It goes perfectly with a cup of tea.”
“Ah, so I’m getting out plates and a knife as well as the cups, then.” As he fetched them, he frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Not wrong, just…” He ended on a brisk sigh and poured us tea. “There’s something different about you.”
I stiffened as he slid my cup across the table. “I thought you weren’t going to read me.”
“No, not like that.” He stirred a dash of honey into his drink, eyeing me like he was seeing into my soul. “I heard what happened… that you’re no longer married.”
“I prefer ‘happily widowed.’”
He chuckled. “It fits nicely. Though, I thought it would leave you afraid. Closed. But… your demeanour. You’re embracing… well, everything, rather than trying to shut some things out.”
I sat back, rubbing my chest. Was I so obvious? “I’m not sure how to take that.”
He lifted one shoulder. “It’s not an insult, and it’s not dangerous, either. But I think you’re starting to understand—you can’t shut some things out and let others in. You shut the door and you lose it all.”
You can’t choose what you numb. If you’re deadened, you lose the good and the bad. It was like he’d been speaking to Ella.
“Your magic seems more under control, too.” His gaze dropped to my fingers. “No gloves. You must be feeling more confident.”