The silence drew on. I didn’t regret my past lovers, but something about admitting this to her felt… high stakes.
“You were… a novelty.”
“Not many fae with shadows—not in this realm, anyway. They enjoyed using me, and I had my fun. But… I have different preferences now.”
“You like to be the one in charge.”
She wasn’t wrong, but low in my belly something tightened to hear her say it out loud.
Keeping her hands off me in Albion had been an attempt to remain in control—of the situation but also of myself. But it was a broader preference too. In the bedroom and in life.
When I lost control, that was when things went wrong.
Another yawn dragged on me, saving me from responding.
“Goodnight, Bastian,” she murmured.
My hand pressed into the space between us to stop it from reaching for her hair, which spilled over the makeshift pillow. “Goodnight, Katherine.”
I dropped into the depths of sleep at once, like a stone cast into a lake. At some point I woke. There was no sound other than Kat’s breathing, which wasn’t the slow rhythm of sleep.
“What’s wrong?” I mumbled.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m just a bit cold.”
No fire, like we’d had in camp. And we were nearing winter. “You should’ve told me.” I lifted the blankets and wrapped my arm around her waist. “Come here.”
With a soft sound that started as surprise and melted into a sigh, she slotted into the space in front of me. Back against my chest, backside tantalisingly close to my dick, thighs curled over mine. I was too tired and already sinking back into sleep, unable to do anything about it other than squeeze her close and nuzzle against her hair and enjoy that simple, perfect pleasure.
28
Kat
Sunlight crept into the stables, pressing on my eyelids. Below, deer snuffled and rustled through the hay and straw. And closer—much, much closer—Bastian was warm and solid at my front, one arm around me, his other pillowing my head. Our legs had tangled together in the night.
I kept still, pretending to be asleep. If I pretended, I didn’t have to move.
I couldn’t name it, but something had changed on our journey. Perhaps it was that he’d apologised. Perhaps it was the time away from his work. Perhaps it was time alone.
Something still felt broken between us—not quite fixed by our apologies, but…
It had all been real.
And that changed everything.
I gripped his shirt, heart tripping over its beats, and finally opened my eyes.
I should’ve known he’d already be awake, though he blinked sleepily and gave this slow smile like he’d only just woken. It only heightened the impact of his closeness.
Silver eyes that seemed to glow brighter in this dim light. Nose half an inch from mine. Hair mussed in a way that made his beauty less sharp and more human. Like maybe, just maybe, I could reach out and…
My fingers slid up his stubbled throat, rasping softly. His pulse thrummed as I crossed it and continued to the scar running from his chin and up through his lips.
Not just the most gorgeous person I knew but… perhaps the most broken. And yet… he endured. Shoulders set, he pushed on into every day.
My heart ached for him. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to endure. He didn’t have to push. He didn’t have to pretend it was all fine—that he was untouchable.
But I didn’t want to break the spell the sunrise had cast over us.
So I ran my fingers into his hair, combing it off his face, and arched into his tightening grip around my waist.
“Katherine,” he murmured, mouth so close to mine, I could feel the name on my lips.
“… at all?” From outside, a woman’s raised voice shattered the spell. “What do you mean?”
A low answer I couldn’t make out.
“There has to be some sign of them,” she went on, something familiar in her tone. “Maybe they stayed at an inn.”
“That’s what we’re going to check, madam.” A man’s voice I didn’t recognise. A guard, perhaps? “If you would just calm—”
“There aren’t any inns between here and there.” Was that Asher?
“I’m coming with you,” the woman added, and I could picture the raised chin that went with her comment. “We’ll be able to sniff her out.”
“Wait.” I bolted upright at the same moment Bastian did. “Ella?”
I flew down the ladder and burst into the stable yard.
Ella, Perry, Asher, a handful of guards, and, at Perry’s side, sniffing the air—
“Vespera.” I half sobbed out her name, rushing forward.
They came. Why? How?
A small voice added, For me?
I jolted to a stop, a hand gripping my wrist—Bastian’s. The gentle crease of his brow and slight shake of his head smacked into me.
The purple stain was up to my wrists, all the more reminder.
My poison.
I stood three feet from Ella. It felt more like a mile.
Vespera started forward with a chirrup of greeting, but Perry pressed a hand into her chest and gripped the halter, a frown imprinted on her face as though she understood something was wrong. Towering at her back, Asher held her shoulder and placed a hand on Vespera’s neck.
Ella’s perfect face crumpled in confusion as she looked from me to Bastian.
I shook my head. What was I meant to say? How could I explain? Words were impossible, lost in the hollow ache of my chest.
Bastian pressed something into my hand and it took me a long while of blinking at the dark leather to understand they were my gloves.
“Asher,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder, though the rigidity of his smile belied his confidence.
I slid on my gloves, separating myself from the rest of the world. Something else that had changed on our journey—no fear of poisoning anyone.
“Perry, Ella,” Bastian continued with his greetings as the guards dispersed. “It’s good to see you, though I didn’t realise Asher was going to have company.”
Ella was still casting a questioning look between me and Bastian.
Perry patted Vespera’s shoulder, though her knuckles were white on the reins. “Officially, the pirate queen would appreciate me paving the way for a royal visit.”
Bastian cocked his head. “And unofficially?”
“I know Vice would appreciate me keeping an eye on her sister in… uncharted waters.”
With a deep breath, I forced a smile onto my face. “Thank you.”
These leather gloves were safe—I’d saddled and bridled the stags without harm. One hand on my pendant, I pressed my palm to Vespera’s forehead. She pushed back, a purr rumbling in the air around us.
“Hello, my lovely. I missed you. Stags just aren’t the same.” She butted forward, trying to get her head against my chest, right under my chin, as she always did.
My eyes burned as I had to catch and stop her. “Don’t let…” My words to Perry broke. “She can’t touch me.”
Perry and Asher worked together to pull her back, and I had to swallow down my threatening tears before turning to Ella. “I can’t believe you’re here.”