I rubbed my fingertips together. I still hadn’t felt any magic inside myself, but that hum—I’d felt it outside me.
Slowly, I nodded. “It’s a start.”
38
Kat
That night, Rose walked me through the streets of Tenebris, both of us a little tipsy. We had joined Ari, Perry, and Ella for dinner at Moonsong Spire, a restaurant at the top of one of the city towers, where we’d watched the sunset turn Luminis into Tenebris.
The setting sun’s lengthening shadows had spread over the city, bit by bit, turning white marble into black basalt. Alabaster into obsidian. Pale moonstone into dark labradorite.
I’d watched from the rooftop terrace, tears streaking down my cheeks. What a place. What a world to grow up in. If I’d grown up somewhere like this, perhaps I would’ve understood Bastian’s love of beauty right away.
Even now, as we reached the bridge leading to the palace, I had to wipe my cheeks. Rose opened and closed her mouth like she didn’t know what to say before squeezing my gloved hand and wishing me goodnight. Dusk’s guards greeted me, and I set out across the bridge, keeping to its very centre.
I’d left the restaurant early, not wanting to drink more fae wine and lose the memory of this night. It was one I’d hold close and lock in my heart.
What had Bastian said? When you have nothing left, even a scrap of something is important.
I may have lost part of myself when I’d taken that poison. I may not be sure of who I was or my purpose. But I had something and maybe that would help get me through.
I had to find him, tell him I understood. Apologise for… I didn’t know what for, just that it seemed stupid that I had ever not understood.
Or perhaps I was just drunk and overcome by the view.
Still on the edge of tears, I didn’t want to encounter anyone from Dawn in the grand hall. Even though these were joyful tears, precious tears, they were still a weakness—a badge of my heart. Unsafe.
So I skirted the palace, aiming for the side entrance.
What I’d seen tonight had opened a dam in me, because I had to pause for another glimpse of Tenebris. Below, the water in the ravine glimmered with blue light, softening the rocky outcrops with its dim glow.
As I looked out over it, a prickle worked from the nape of my neck down my spine.
I wasn’t alone.
I whirled, reaching for my pocket, ready to draw my pistol.
Beneath a low holly tree, a shadow unfolded.
Bastian?
But as the figure emerged, I realised it was a woman’s, curved like a full moon. Tight curls surrounded her face.
“Your Majesty.” I bowed, getting my hand far from my weapon. One thing Albion and faerie had in common—monarchs and drawn weapons didn’t mix. At least, not if you wanted to keep your head. “I’m sorry, I thought I was alone.”
“So did I.” She smiled, and the soft light from the crescent moon above caressed the fullness of her cheeks and lips. “But it seems the Stars have gifted me tonight. It’s past time we got to know each other better.” She beckoned me closer.
Perhaps it was my poor track record with queens… Perhaps it was just the fae alcohol. Either way, I hesitated, my feet wanting to continue indoors. But, another commonality between us and them—you didn’t deny a queen.
So I approached, trying not to fidget under her scrutiny, which left me feeling like a child being checked for flaws in their attire.
Her head tilted as she narrowed her black, pupilless eyes at me. “What sort of woman has so bewitched my Shadow that he’d break a sacred contract?” A momentary flicker of tension around her eyes and mouth. Was she irritated? And if so, at me or Bastian?
I swallowed and bowed my head.
Sacred contract? What was sacred about a lifetime chained to a man with no choice and no escape? Fae really were full of shit.
Good gods, I had drunk too much. I was in danger of my tongue running away with me. After pressing it to the roof of my mouth for the count of three, I trusted myself to speak. “I didn’t know how Your Majesty’s people felt about marriage contracts, and Bastian didn’t know I was bound by one.”
“Hmm.” She nodded and settled back against the tree trunk, indicating I should join her.
I obeyed, looking out over the River Velos, the bridge over to our left. “I must thank you for the ball. I never dreamed I would have a royal event thrown in my honour, never mind by the Night Queen herself.”
She chuckled, soft as the dark clouds skimming overhead. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
“It was… enlightening.”
Another low laugh, then we stood in silence for a while.
She wanted to get to know me, yet she wasn’t asking many questions and I knew better than to volunteer information. Even though she was Bastian’s queen, I still heeded his warning.
“Did you know rings have a symbolic significance to fae? I’m not sure it’s the same for humans.”
Under my glove, the ring Bastian had given me weighed suddenly heavier. “Really?” I kept my tone light. Had she spotted it?
“Circles have no beginning or end. Like the Celestial and Tellurian Serpents biting each other’s tails in their mating dance, they stand for eternity. We give them as a token of love everlasting. As a mark of belonging.”
My throat went tight and I barely stopped myself tugging on my collar. “Really? How fascinating.”
Out the corner of my eye, I could see her studying me. My pulse grew heavier, harder, like a drum marking time for an army. Why did this feel like a battle?
“I suspect that’s what Bastian thought of you. A fascinating, flame-haired human. Even better that he was away from home and most of his usual responsibilities. I dare say he saw the whole trip as a chance to relax… blow off some steam.”
Meaning I had been a chance to blow off steam and nothing more. Yet he’d had ample chances to take his pleasure with me and hadn’t.
Still, what she said （and presented as her opinion, so not a lie） had an undercurrent of truth. Now I’d seen how Bastian lived here, I understood that Lunden had given him some measure of freedom.
“Maybe he needed the break from such heavy responsibilities placed upon him.” Subtle enough to not get me in trouble, but with all her centuries of court life, she had to understand that I meant she placed too much upon him.
She exhaled a soft sound, a shade thoughtful, a shade amused. “To think they say humans are stupid.”
“And they say fae are polite above all else. I think they don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Her chuckle rose, then fell into a thoughtful silence. We stood there a long while, the lights and life of Tenebris playing out before us. I wondered if I could excuse myself or if I had to wait for her to dismiss me as I would in Albion.
“I come here some evenings.” She spoke quietly, gaze on the bridge, a crease between her brows. “More so since this news of Dawn’s royal wedding.”
Prince Sepher and his human bride. They’d chosen the eclipse for their wedding day so the queen could be present alongside King Lucius. I hadn’t thought of how she might feel about it.
“I think of my daughter,” she added.
The princess Bastian had beheaded?
“Did Bastian tell you I had two daughters? Once upon a time, anyway.”