A flush brightened Sloane’s cheeks, and she looked slightly flustered by my sister’s implication that she and Walker should move in together. “Okay, who’s ready to eat?”
If we weren’t ready, it would be a shame because Sloane had laid out a buffet in the kitchen.
Taking in the array of delicious finger sandwiches, pastries, vol-au-vents, cakes, chips, dips, and salad, I cracked, “Are we expecting more people?”
Sloane grinned sheepishly. “I might have gotten a little carried away. Come on, dig in.”
Soon we were all seated around Walker’s dining table, Allegra, Callie, and Sloane doing most of the talking as Walker and I listened and added commentary when required. It didn’t surprise me that Allegra confessed to Sloane about her art alias and showed off her work to her. She seemed to trust Sloane in the same way I’d grown to believe she was one of the few people who could truly be trusted. I’d add Walker and Lachlan Adair to that list too.
Sloane oohed and aahed over Allegra’s art and seemed as genuinely impressed as I was. “So what does this mean?”
Allegra glanced at me. “We’re going to talk to our parents about me dropping out of art college.”
“Is that wise?” Walker asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” my sister wisely answered. “I just know I’m not happy in LA.”
“Seems to be a family trait.” Sloane smiled sympathetically at me. She knew I would be worrying my ass off about Allegra’s decision.
“I don’t want her to stay somewhere she’s not happy,” I admitted.
“Though I don’t think I could stay here full time,” Allegra said after swallowing a bite of cupcake. “But only because I’d get fat on your baking.”
“You could just not eat my baking.”
I huffed because I’d lived with Sloane and Callie for a few weeks and put on about ten pounds from all the delicious baked goods she left lying around.
Sloane grinned mischievously because she knew exactly what I was thinking. Allegra watched the silent exchange and announced, “I’m so glad you guys have become friends.” She patted Sloane’s arm. “Between you and me, I worry about Aria here.”
Irritation cut through my contentment. “Ally,” I warned.
“What?” She raised an eyebrow. “You’re allowed to worry about me, but I’m not allowed to worry about you? I’m just saying, I’m glad you’ve made a friend here.”
“Oh my God, I’m not in first grade.”
“Speaking of friends, how is North doing?” Sloane swiftly changed the subject. To the wrong one.
I groaned inwardly.
“North?” Allegra’s ears perked up like a puppy hearing the word treat. “What about North?”
Sloane gestured to Walker. “Walk and North have become quite friendly. As friendly as macho men can become,” she teased. Her boyfriend barely reacted as he popped a mini choux pastry into his mouth. “But he’s kind of holed himself up in that castle for the past few weeks.”
“Months. Past few months,” I corrected.
“Did he really hurt someone?” Callie suddenly asked, wide-eyed. “That’s what they’re saying at school.”
It horrified me that ten-year-olds were gossiping about this stuff.
“No,” Walker assured her. “He’s a good man.”
“You believe that?” Allegra asked.
“Absolutely.”
Walker’s conviction in North’s goodness only raised my hackles. And maybe a little guilt.
“A good man.” Allegra stared pointedly at me. “Imagine that.”
“Though I’d like to know what he did to upset you?” Walker directed his question my way. I got the feeling he wasn’t accusing me. Instead, I sensed the question came from a place of protectiveness.
What had North done to upset me?
Truthfully? Nothing.
His only crime was to remind me too much of the men who had hurt me.
I’d been horrible to him. Looking down at my empty plate, the plate Mamma would have taken away three sandwiches ago, I answered stiffly, “Nothing. He’s done nothing wrong.”
Allegra was quiet in the car as if she knew I’d locked myself inside my head. Distracted, I barely remembered the drive back to the estate and to our house. It wasn’t until we’d let ourselves inside the warm home and kicked off our shoes that Allegra spoke, offering to make herbal tea.
I lit the fire and settled down on the plush corner sofa, the view of the sea already masked by the dark sky outside. A few minutes later, Allegra brought me a steaming mug and curled up next to me. Pleasant silence fell between us. You couldn’t hear the waves outside unless you opened a window because my father had the house built with the best materials to withstand its coastal position. That included triple glazing and self-cleaning glass.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you at Sloane and Walker’s.”
I looked at my sister. “You didn’t.”
She winced. “I think I did, and I’m sorry. I just … I was so relieved to see you and Sloane had grown closer. That you’re letting yourself trust someone. After what Lucas and Caitlyn did, I was afraid you’d stop trusting everyone.”
The urge to change the subject was real, but that would only make Allegra worry more. Plus, I didn’t want my sister to think I didn’t trust her. “It wasn’t just Lucas and Caitlyn. It’s been a long stream of people using me for who Dad is and betraying me when they don’t get what they want.” I stared at my sister. She looked so young, huddled up on the couch. “I don’t want that to happen to you. I want people to see you and not our father’s name. Maybe getting out of LA is really what’s best for you. I’ll tell Mamma and Dad that, too, I promise. You know you could go places and not need to tell people who you are until you trust them. You could have a sense of anonymity outside of California.”
Allegra nodded, expression grim. “That’s the price of our privilege. I have to hide who I am from people until I can trust that they’re hanging around because they like me for me. And you … you learned that lesson for me, so I don’t have to. But now you have so many walls up, it’s a miracle you’re friends with Sloane.”
I didn’t know how to respond because she spoke the truth. A lot of truth.
“And what about men, Aria?” Allegra pushed. “Are you going to spend the rest of your life pushing guys like North away because you’re afraid to be hurt?”
“What is your obsession with this guy?” I huffed.
“Your reaction to him. There are plenty of guys who come through those castle doors who are flirty, charming, cocky actors, and I bet you don’t speak to any of them the way you speak to North.”
I tried not to show in my expression that she was right.
She still seemed to know she was right, anyway, because a smugness glinted in her eyes.
Irritated, I blurted, “You don’t understand. It wasn’t just one guy, Allegra. It has been almost every man I let myself get close to. They’ve betrayed me, one after the other. Do you know what that’s like?” Tears burned as the buried hurt tried to uncover itself. “If our mother didn’t do a good enough job of shredding my self-esteem, those guys finished her work. And it hurts too fucking much to keep letting them in. So yes, I would rather be alone than feel every day the way they made me feel.”