North stood slowly, visibly agitated. “Please tell me you are fucking kidding.”
I stared up at him owlishly. “Goodness, we haven’t even gotten to Lucas yet.”
“Lucas?” he seethed.
“My last boyfriend.” I nodded and gestured back to his chair. “Sit.”
“I’m too enraged to sit.” He enunciated each word as he paced. “So what the fuck did this Lucas do?”
I watched him pace, surprised he was this indignant on my behalf. “Uh … well, it was my fault, really. I promised myself no more actors after Preston, but Lucas Grant was all charming and cocky and sexy.” I waved a hand at North as if to say like you, and he scowled even more ferociously. “He’d been in a few small movies, and he’d written a script that he wanted my dad to see. I explained I couldn’t get that in front of my dad, and he seemed to be understanding. At the time I was working as the hospitality manager for my friend’s new restaurant, Curiosity. We hired a girl named Caitlyn Branch to run the social media. And she was kind of overeager and sweet and seemed fascinated by me, so I took her under my wing. She changed her name to Ariella and started dressing like me and following me everywhere, and it became suffocating. I tried to distance myself from her a little, and I don’t know if that pissed her off, but she sent me a video of her fucking Lucas.”
North stopped pacing to stare at me, dumbfounded.
I nodded, the terrible ache I’d buried threatening to take hold. “When I confronted Lucas, do you know what he said?”
“I’m afraid to ask.”
I couldn’t hold North’s gaze any longer. “He said that I was fat and bad in bed, but he didn’t want to break up with me in case it hurt his future chances of working with my father.”
“Fuck.” North exhaled harshly. “Aria.” He sat in the chair across from me, and I forced my attention back to him. He seemed as if he was in pain. “Please don’t tell me you believe any of that shite.”
I gave him an exasperated look. “If people repeat a pattern with you, you kinda start to believe what they’re saying. Friends have tried to use me to get to my father. I’ve been used by different boyfriends to get to Dad, and all of them cheated on me and all of them made it clear that I wasn’t sexy to them, that they didn’t enjoy our time … in bed.”
Suddenly, North slammed his glass down on a side table and lowered himself to his knees in front of me. I gaped at him as he braced his hands on the arms of my chair and leaned right into me. The smell of his cologne mingled with the scent of whisky and heat. There was nowhere to look but straight into his beautiful eyes because our noses almost touched.
“They were callous, ruthless wee pricks who couldn’t admit that they were scummy, callous, ruthless wee pricks, so they laid the blame at your feet.”
“North.” I pressed a hand to his chest but didn’t exert pressure. “Don’t.”
“What? Tell you the truth? I could give a rat’s arse who your father is. You’re Aria. A woman so sexy and beautiful that I felt guilty for checking you out the first day we met because I wanted you. A lot. And I had a girlfriend who I cared about. I wouldn’t have done anything, but just wanting you that much made me feel like a bit of a bastard.” His eyes lowered to my mouth, and my body tingled to life under his stare, at his proximity, at his words. “But she dumped me because I no longer made her look good.” His eyes returned to mine. “It’s not the same, but I understand a wee bit.”
“North … I have serious trust issues,” I warned him. “I can’t date anyone.”
Determination hardened his gaze. “Then at least let me show you how beautiful I think you are. Let me prove you’re dynamite in bed. Let me take away what the arseholes planted in you.”
“Why?” I whispered hoarsely.
“Because it’s a fucking travesty that a woman as charismatic and sexy as you would think otherwise.”
I wanted to.
I wanted to push him to the floor, unbuckle his jeans, and ride him until there was nothing but the pursuit of pleasure.
But fear pushed in, icing the heat in my blood.
No.
Somehow, I knew if I let him, North could hurt me worse than all the others.
Patting his chest gently, I eased away from him. “I think we’ve both had a lot to drink. We should try to get some sleep until Allegra remembers we’re in here.”
North didn’t hide his frustration or disappointment, but he moved away from me. Scrubbing a hand over his unshaven cheeks, he gestured to the couch. “You take the sofa. I’ll push two chairs together.”
Nodding, I waited until he’d moved out of my path and then I reclined on the couch, bending my knees to fit. I gave him my back and murmured, “Good night, North.”
His deep voice made me shiver as he replied, “Good night, gorgeous.”
Nine
NORTH
I’d wanted a distraction.
I’d wanted something to change.
Well, wish granted.
Now I was infatuated with Aria Howard.
My wrist hurt from writing about the night in my journal. I wanted to commit every moment and every feeling to paper before I finally got some sleep. It was not Allegra who saved us from the library, but Wakefield. The butler didn’t say a damn word about finding us locked in the room. Both Aria and I had barely slept, though she did at some point, because she snored a wee bit. We were desperate to use the restroom after all the whisky we’d consumed, and even so, Aria asked Wakefield to give us a minute.
Once the butler had departed, Aria turned to me with those stunning green eyes. They were filled with apology, sincerity, and a softness I didn’t know she was capable of until last night.
“I want to say how sorry I am for the way I’ve treated you. It won’t happen again.”
I was surprised by the relief I experienced. “Thank you.” Unable to leave it at that, I lowered my voice and said, “I’m not drunk.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“And I still want you.” I leaned into her as I moved slowly past, and her lashes fluttered, her breathing shallow. Aye, she wanted me too. “You know where to find me if you decide you want to prove those bastards wrong.”
Then she tortured me by nervously licking her plump lips. I seemed to have rendered her speechless, so I nodded with a slight smile and walked away.
Now she was all I could think about. I wanted to erase all the shit those arseholes had planted in her head. How the fuck could they? Cheating on her was one thing, but to say such cruel drivel to her? The next time I saw Preston Holden, he’d be lucky if he didn’t walk away with a broken nose.
I got up off the bed and pulled the curtains closed. I’d already put a Do Not Disturb sign on my door. But as soon as I rested my head on the pillow, I pictured her. Damn, I wanted her. I’d told her things about my past that I hadn’t spoken about to many people. She’d listened like she gave a damn, and I’d felt a weight releasing from me to have her know the truth about Gil. Aria didn’t look at me with pity, but empathy. She didn’t judge me, but seemed to admire me.
I had to admit, I could get high on Aria’s admiration.