North scrubbed a wearied hand over his face while confusion filled me.
“Letters? What letters?”
I knew it was hypocritical of me to be angry at North for hiding the creepy letters he’d been receiving （for years, apparently） considering I’d told no one about the anonymous emails … but that didn’t make me any less pissed.
North explained everything as the security team drove us back to the estate, and I grew more alarmed by the second about what had just happened to us. Someone had really, truly just tried to drive their car into us. To injure us.
To injure North.
I’d insisted on one of the physical therapists looking over North as soon as we arrived at the castle, and that had given me time to work myself up into quite the state. Pacing my office, my mind whirled. Overwhelmed. By the intensity of my fear for him.
As much as I wanted to deny it … I’d stupidly developed feelings for North. While that might not sound like a bad thing, considering how great we were together, we were in this weird, otherworldly bubble in Ardnoch without outside forces or leading ladies or … legendary directors he wanted to work with.
However, as soon as North stepped off the estate to start filming in two weeks, that would be it. My insecurities would rear their ugly heads and I’d destroy our relationship. I’d inflict pain on him because I couldn’t trust him.
I didn’t want to hurt North.
But I couldn’t let this go on.
The thought of never kissing him again, never seeing that wicked smile as we rolled around in bed, was an agony I was not prepared for.
A sob welled up and out, and I stumbled into my seat, shoving the pain back down, making choked, whimpering sounds that shocked me. For two years I’d barely cried at anything, and since getting involved with North, my emotions had flooded to the surface.
Oh my God. How had I let this happen?
I didn’t know how long I sat in dire contemplation before North strode into my office without knocking. Wariness and grief filled me as I watched him lock the door. When he turned to me, I tried to memorize his handsome face. How the light caught silver striations in his beautiful gray eyes.
North’s expression hardened. As if he could read my face, my mind … “No,” he bit out, the word guttural.
I stood and rounded the desk in the opposite direction, leaning my ass against it for support as we stared at each other like two opponents. “How was PT?”
“I don’t want to talk about PT,” he huffed impatiently. “I want to talk about that look in your eyes.”
“We have to end this,” I blurted out.
His jaw clenched, and I tensed as he stepped toward me. “No,” he repeated.
Somehow I knew he’d make this even more difficult, and fury cut through the horrible ache in my chest. “You don’t get to decide,” I snapped.
“I bloody well do.” He crossed the distance between us until our chests almost touched and my fingers curled around the edge of the desk. “I don’t want this to end. And I don’t think you do either.” North cupped my cheek, and I wanted so badly to buss into his touch, but I held back. “Aria, I know today was frightening, but I have a security team. I’m safe. You’re safe. I’ll make sure of it.”
I shook my head frantically. His scent, his heat, was overwhelming me like always. Tingles awoke between my legs. My skin felt hot. “It’s more than that. We were fighting before the attack … I … I told you that I cannot date an actor.”
His eyes flared. “I’m a man, not a fucking actor. Acting is just what I do. I can’t believe after everything we’ve been through—”
“Been through?” I guffawed angrily, feeling literally and emotionally cornered. “We’ve been living in a goddamn luxury bubble in the middle of nowhere in Scotland! This isn’t the real world, North. In the real world, I could never know if you were with me for me or because of what you could get from me.”
“What I could get from you?” he hissed, his lips almost touching mine. “All I want is this.” He pressed a hand over my heart, his expression fierce, frustrated.
And suddenly, knowing that this was it, that this would be our last intimate moment together, I wasn’t ready for last night to be the last time I felt him inside of me. “No. All you want is this.” I crushed my mouth over his as my hand slid inside his jeans to stroke him.
His growl of need vibrated through me and then North slid his hands under my ass and lifted me onto the desk. As I plucked at the fastener on his jeans, he shoved the skirt of my dress up to my waist. Then he curled his fingers around my silky underwear, yanked them down my legs, and dropped them as I pushed down his jeans and boxer briefs. North held my gaze, his angry and wanting, as he checked my readiness, fingers searching gently, slipping inside me with ease. His nostrils flared at finding me hot and wet, and he groaned against my mouth before kissing me again, licking at my tongue with his, deepening the kiss until I was breathless with need.
My fingers clawed at his ass, trying to hold him closer, and North gave in, guiding himself to me.
Nudging before pushing in.
He grunted as my heat surrounded his tip, and he broke our kiss to look me in the eye as he thrust all the way in.
I fisted his T-shirt, my inner thighs drawing up tight against his hips as he pulled out and thrust back in. Hard. Desperate.
My lips parted on a cry, my head falling back as the sensation tightened deep within.
“Look at me,” North demanded as he anchored my hips in his hands. “Look at me, Aria.”
So I did. And seeing the emotion in his eyes, I wanted to close myself against it. But I couldn’t. No one made me believe I was as wanted and needed as him, and selfishly, I had to enjoy that one last time. To remember the way he made me feel.
“North …” His name was a plea.
His jaw clenched, his grip on me tightened, and he began to thrust. Hard, deep drives punctuated by my growing cries. I had no awareness of where we were or if anyone could hear us. All that mattered was him.
“I’m close, I’m close,” I panted.
His lips crushed over mine as he gentled his drives, teasing me, making tears prick my eyes. Especially as he pressed kisses along my jaw, down my throat. “This will never be over for me, princess,” he whispered hoarsely in my ear. “Never. You’re in my blood,” he growled, his hips quickening as he felt my inner muscles tightening with my coming release. “You always will be.”
My climax hit, my heart pounding as pleasure exploded through me. I throbbed around North in powerful waves, and he cried out against my throat as it brought him to release. He pulsed inside me, shuddering with the force of it.
Quickly, however, reality set in.
A chill skated over my body, and grief clawed at my throat.
North released a long exhale that shivered across my skin. He squeezed my hips before raising his head to look at me.
When I lowered my eyes, unable to bear the feelings he wouldn’t hide from me, North muttered a curse and pulled out.
“I didn’t wear a condom,” he said as he pulled my skirt down to cover me before fixing himself.
My heart raced, but not at the news we’d forgone protection. “I’m on the pill, remember? And I’m sexually healthy.”