That panic resettled at the airport. Fortunately, I got there in time for a flight that was taking off in an hour. Unfortunately, there were no direct flights to Inverness. I had to fly into Edinburgh and then hop on a private flight to Inverness from there.
Throughout the day, I tried calling Aria, but she wouldn’t pick up and I was growing pissed off as well as fearful. You didn’t just shut a person out when something like this happened. Every time I got angry at her, though, I reminded myself of her past. Of how she’d been treated and how easy it was for her to believe that she was temporary, easily thrown away.
Not essential.
If only she knew. I was trying to make her see how essential she was to me, but I guess I was failing.
By the time I reached the estate, it was late in the evening, and I was exhausted, hungry, and trying not to believe that this frantic trip wasn’t a giant waste of time.
The guards checked my ID, called up to the estate, and then let my cab through. An underbutler welcomed me at the main entrance. I planned to walk to Aria’s beach house from there, but when I strode into the castle, my pulse jumped at the sight of her marching through the grand hall toward me.
She was still here, working late.
Her expression was wary, surprised.
“You haven’t been answering your phone.” My angry voice carried across the hall.
Her step faltered, but she recovered, straightening her shoulders with determination. She had her estate manager’s face and voice on as she said to the butler, “Thank you, McGill. I’ll see Mr. Hunter in my office.”
The butler nodded and strode off, but my eyes were on Aria. “Well?”
“My office,” she said pointedly, and I curbed my impatience as I followed her through the grand hall.
Her hips swayed from side to side, and I wanted to grab them and pull her back into me. Wanted to whisper in her ear how desperately I needed her and feel her capitulate in my arms.
Fists clenching, I didn’t do any of that.
She was acting like I’d done something wrong, and I braced for the confrontation.
However, as soon as her office door closed behind me, she whirled, eyes wide, expression apologetic. “Oh my God, North, I didn’t mean for you to come all the way here. What about the film?”
I deflated a wee bit. “I was finished for the day. We meet in Tokyo on Thursday to start filming again. Why didn’t you pick up your phone?”
Aria closed her eyes as if in pain. “I … I just needed some time.”
“You saw the photos.”
She opened her eyes, apology bright in them. Not accusation. “I did.”
“You … believed them?” I practically choked on the words.
“No!” She bridged the distance between us, resting her hands on my chest, and I couldn’t help but curl my hands around her upper arms. To pull her close. Breathe her in. “North … I didn’t believe you’d cheat. I promise. But … but a miracle didn’t just happen to me overnight. Okay? My first thought when I saw those photos was, why wouldn’t he want Eden? Maybe he is just … using me,” she whispered. And even though I could see the shame in her expression, I was furious.
“What the fuck do I need to do to get it through to you I want you for you?”
Aria flinched. “I … I can still hear their voices in my head. I’m trying, but … I don’t want them to win. God.” She tried to shove away from me, but I wouldn’t let her. “Stop!” Tears filled her eyes, and this thing built in my chest, making me feel like it might crack in fucking two from the pressure. “You deserve better than this. This relationship shouldn’t be a goddamn chore. It’s too much work for you. Look at what it’s doing to you! You just flew here from Italy to check on me.”
I gave her a little shake. “Do you love me?”
Her face crumpled immediately, and my heart lodged in my throat as she nodded and sobbed. I’d never seen her like that. I’d seen her sad and upset … but never this. Tears stung my eyes because her pain was my fucking pain, and I wrapped my arms tight around her. “Then we just keep working at it,” I promised her hoarsely.
“I-It’s too much for you.”
“I decide what’s too much for me.” I clasped her face and bent close. Her eyes were a brighter green with the sheen of tears in them. “I would go to the ends of the earth for you, Aria Howard. Because I am in love with you.”
Her fingers curled around my wrists, her voice shaking with tears as she whispered back, “I’m so in love with you, it scares the hell out of me.”
Relief unlike anything I’d ever felt eased the pressure in my chest, and I leaned my forehead against hers. “One day it won’t scare you,” I vowed. “One day, it’ll be as easy as breathing. I won’t stop until you believe with every inch of your being that I love you for you and there’s nothing else I want in return but for you to love me too.”
Somehow, I had to find a way to make her believe that for good.
Thirty-Four
ARIA
“Okay, for a Saturday morning, you look exhausted.”
I glanced up from my coffee mug as my little sister sauntered into the kitchen. She looked beautiful and well-rested and I envied her. “I went to bed at midnight but got up at four to video call with North. They were shooting early in the morning and then shooting a night scene, but he had a separate shoot with a whisky company he’s signed a promo deal with. So he had an hour between noon and one … which is four in the morning, our time.”
Allegra grinned as she moved around the kitchen, making coffee. “And you couldn’t just wait to talk to him another day?”
“That was us waiting.” I groaned, resting my cheek on my palm. My eyelids were so heavy. “His schedule has been full out since he flew to Tokyo two weeks ago. His new brand partnership with Horus, the watch designer, started. They wanted him to do some promo in Tokyo. So did this Japanese whisky company.”
“Are they doing early promotion on the movie while he’s there?”
I shrugged. “I think he said he had a few interviews with some influencers over there. Long story short, he’s so busy, we’ve barely talked.” And I missed him so much. It had taken a lot to be truly, truly vulnerable with North, but I knew deep down I owed him that. He’d been nothing but genuine and loving with me. My insecurities, my deep-seated fears, were not his fault. I was working to be better about not letting them win.
Allegra arriving in the Highlands for summer break was a wonderful distraction. Mamma was set to arrive in a week, and Dad even had a break in his schedule to spend a month with us. We’d all be in the same house for the first time in years, and I was looking forward to it. Mamma had not made one disparaging comment about my body since we’d had our honest conversation, and I answered her calls more now. She still liked to complain to me about Allegra not wanting to spend time with her, but overall, our relationship felt healthier.
“I was thinking, once I’ve had another five million coffees, maybe we could take a trip to Aberdeen today. Do a little East Coast college wardrobe shopping?”
Allegra’s brow wrinkled as she slid into the breakfast nook beside me. “Isn’t that a long way to go for shopping?”