My heart beat harder. “During the middle of the night?”
“During your nightmare, you were thrashing and screaming, begging me not to kill them. I came to you and put you beside me in the bed. I tried to soothe you until you calmed. You were quite distraught, but you never woke. Eventually, you settled back into a deep sleep. I didn’t have the heart to return you to the floor.” He leaned back more on the ground as his giant wings splayed behind him while I processed that kind yet shockingly intimate gesture. “Do you want to talk about your family?”
“What? No,” I replied too quickly. “That would be . . . weird.”
He abruptly reached forward and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. The second he made contact with my skin, my entire being buzzed with energy.
“I don’t take what I do lightly.” His comment was said so quietly, so genuinely, as though he actually meant it.
Tears threatened to fill my eyes. So much had happened this week. Too much, and now we were talking about my family. I didn’t know how much more I could take, but I forced the tears back. “Do you regret killing them?”
“I regret a lot of things.”
“But what about my family? My parents. My brother. Do you regret killing them?” I stared at him pleadingly.
“Yes.” His eyes bore into me, the startling blueness of them like millions of twinkling stars. “I’m sorry for every life I’ve taken that wasn’t from a vile murderer or pedophile, and I regret what taking your parents and brother from their lives did to them, you, and your sister.”
More tears filled my eyes. “You do?”
He nodded.
My breath stuttered out of me. Never, not once, in the past season had I ever thought I’d get an apology from him, much less an apology that seemed sincere.
A flash of something coated my insides. Relief, maybe. Or, perhaps even the beginning of forgiveness. But it was all twisted up, all jumbled together as I struggled to keep the tears from falling. I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I knew for the first time in a full season, the constant anger I felt over their deaths lessened.
Before I could process anything further, he stood. “Come. I can see that everything is wearing on you. This week has been difficult, so I propose we take a break.”
Holding his hand out, he reached for me.
Dirt still lined my fingers, but he didn’t seem to care when I slipped my hand into his.
With a tug, he lifted me to my feet. My heart hammered again as his snowy cedar scent hit me while I waited in front of him, only inches from his chest.
He smiled and tucked another stray lock of hair behind my ear.
I couldn’t breathe. He stood so close, and his look was so . . .
He retreated a step, and some of the heaviness in his expression eased. “Have you ever been to the shores of Kroravee?”
I shook myself out of whatever fog was descending over me. “No, of course not. Prior to meeting you, I’d never left Mervalee.”
Besides, Kroravee Territory had a reputation for being standoffish to fae from all other territories. They were a reclusive lot, preferring to keep to their own. Even though all of the territories had been under one reign since King Novakin united the continent over three hundred winters ago, it was said that Kroravee still held a grudge about it.
The prince raised an eyebrow. “So you haven’t visited Pentlebim or the ice caves? Then I suppose that’s where we’re going.”
His arms closed around me, and then in a whisper of mist and shadows, air and wind, the field vanished.
CHAPTER 21
We reappeared in the bustle of a market. Dozens of fae walked and hurried to vendor stalls as they searched for the goods they needed.
I peered around, taking in the stalls that were similar to Firlim’s harvest market but larger. A multitude of interlocking streets zigzagged every which way. Conversation drifted in the air as a cool breeze caressed my cheeks.
“Where are we?”
“Pentlebim’s midday market. It’s open several hours each afternoon.”
I sniffed, catching the scent of salt on the wind. “Are we close to the sea?”
“The Brashier Sea is only a millee north of here.”
Since nobody was paying us any attention, I cocked my head. “Can anyone see us?”
“Not yet. I’ve cloaked our arrival and haven’t released my illusion yet.”
My lips curved as I fully relaxed in the secretiveness of our arrival. I took in the displays. Jewelry, enchantments, clothing, shoes, charms of every sort, and bottles of ale were only a few of the items visible. I’d never visited a market just to browse before, and even though I had no rulibs and wouldn’t be able to purchase anything, it didn’t mean it wouldn’t be enjoyable.
Already, the weight of the responsibility that had been placed on my shoulders was lifting. Perhaps the prince was right. Maybe I needed a break. A few hours reprieve was bound to help before I attempted to revive the field in Harrivee again.
“Where should we start?” I asked excitedly.
He grinned. “We can start right here if—”
A commotion came from down the lane, then a scuffle of feet and a sharp whistle as the city’s guard ran past us. The two guards—fae males with wings tucked in tight, clubs in their hands, and glowing cuffs snapped to their waistbands—ran down the lane. From the sounds of it, a fight had just broken out.
My heartbeat ticked up. “What’s going on?” More yells and shouts reached my ears.
The prince’s nostrils flared. “Probably more fighting over the food. It’s been a common occurrence here of late.”
I strained to see through the throng of fae, but already a crowd was forming at the end of the lane. The fight had erupted a dozen stalls down from where we stood. Another sharp whistle pierced the air. The sound of fists hitting flesh and sparks from magic being cast followed.
My stomach sank even more as a shiver ran through me. “They’re fighting because they don’t have enough to eat?”
“No, they do have enough, for the moment at least. We’ve been carefully rationing the stores in Kroravee for several months now, but some fae are trying to take more than their share. They’re frightened, so they’re hoarding, or trying to.”
A male yelled out, cursing the guards, just as the crowd parted enough for me to see the guards wrestle a fairy to the ground.
“Do you need to intervene?” I asked the prince.
His lips pressed into a thin line. “I could if they need my help.”
I studied his expression. “But you don’t want to?”
He hesitated, then gave a rueful shrug, which made his giant wings lift and my attention snag to his broad shoulders. “It can be tiresome to always be working, but I suppose that’s my problem to deal with. Not yours.”
He made a move to join the guards, and I didn’t know why, but I reached for him.
The second my hand made contact with his arm, a shiver ran through me. Everything in me locked up, as though I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t exist knowing he was unhappy, and—
What in all the realms?
I snatched my hand back as though I’d been burned, my breaths coming so fast that I feared I would hyperventilate.