“Some things just stay with you,” I say.
“How did you get into that anyway?”
“I’ve just always had an aptitude for it.” It’s too embarrassing to admit the real reason I started trying to balance on everything I could and perfecting my cartwheels since I can remember.
Stella raises a brow at me. “Sure you have.” She takes a deep breath and blows a strand of hair out of her face. “I think I’m ready to finish it.”
I glance at the practice. There’s twenty minutes left. “We don’t need to do a whole practice today. I hardly think I need to be ready to give birth soon.”
“Okay!” Stella accepts my offer readily. “Do you know how long you’re going to be pregnant for? You still don’t look like it, and I figured with how quickly you were experiencing side effects that pregnancy would be quicker for dragons.”
I purse my lips. “I don’t know.”
I’m the same size as when I’d shown up a month ago. Maybe I’ll ask Kalos how long gestation is if I ever see him. He makes himself scarce, only sliding into bed to act as my personal heater after I’ve fallen asleep. Sometimes I wake to his presence before going back to sleep, and sometimes I don’t, only catching whiffs of campfire on my sheets in the morning and waking comfortably cozy.
He's good at being a heater. The chill hasn’t returned, but I’ve been so tired that I haven’t been able to talk to him other than to mumble something nonsensical before he tells me to sleep with his authoritative voice that I want to curl up in.
During daylight hours, he avoids me. At first, I didn’t think he was. I figured he always ate his meals in his office and was never in the same parts of the house I was. But the passing comments from Maggie and Ben clued me in that this is unusual.
I don’t want to chase the man from his own home, but I have to be here for my and the baby’s safety. So I try to make it easier on everyone. I set up my workplace in a beautiful room on the other side of the house than his study and try not to utilize Ben’s time too much.
It helps that Ben never makes me feel like an inconvenience. He goes out of his way to make sure I have everything I need before I even think to ask for it. He and Maggie have made this whole experience a little more bearable.
Sure, I’m staying in a beautiful mansion, but my freedoms are pretty restricted. Luckily, Stella visiting me helps immensely.
It took some time to get used to living here, but I’ve adapted slowly. It doesn’t quite feel like home, but I eat breakfast with Maggie in the kitchen, and she tells me fantastical stories about the fae realm before I work more hours than I probably should, stopping to grab food and take a moment to spend time in the gym Ben had showed to me. He even got some equipment I told him I needed for my gymnastic workouts. Sometimes I take my sketchbook out and explore the countless rooms in the house or the grounds.
The land included in Kalos’s estate is a mix of forest and curated garden. There’s even a small maze with a fountain shaped like a coiling dragon at its center. It’s fun to lose myself in sketching the nature or architecture around me.
I live in Kalos’s home, and my world revolves around avoiding him, but it’s grown comfortable. I keep focused on my own tasks and try not to think about the dragon.
Most of the time I even forget I’m pregnant since the heat he feeds me has caused the symptoms I’d had before to disappear.
It isn’t a bad way to live, but it is monotonous.
“Thank you for hanging out today. I know it can be boring—”
“Kat, stop,” Stella says. “It’s not boring to hang out here. I know why you can’t just leave when you want to. It’s more important for you to be safe than to go to a café together. Let’s move over to the grass. I know you like being in the sun, carrying a being that literally sucks heat from your bones and all, but it’s really hot and my sunscreen isn’t invincible.”
I agree, and we move to the grass and trees.
“This place is beautiful though,” Stella says. “The only bummer is that I have to deal with your errand boy.”
I hum. “I don’t know why you dislike each other so much.”
Stella picks a blade of grass and glares at it. “Vibes. Some people you can just feel it.”
The way Stella and Ben snap at each other could be an Olympic sport for all their perseverance and consistency. They are opposites. Ben is everything order and organized. His job is to provide solutions. Stella is more chaos and glee. Her work is fluid and thoughts spontaneous.
“How did things go with the minotaur you were making a glamour for?” I ask, wanting to change the subject. I like Ben.
Stella winces. “Uh, yeah, turns out he needed a glamour because he’d met his soul mate online and didn’t want to freak her out.”
“Oh, damn, I’m sorry.”
She flicks the piece of grass away. “Don’t be. Just because I’m not finding love doesn’t mean other people can’t. I’d say that I wish I didn’t have to date, but that would be unappreciative because I know the other side of that.”
The other side of that is an arranged marriage like her mother had. A dark expression passes over her face, and I try to distract her.
“Maybe after I have this baby and they’re older, I’ll join you on the dating scene. I’d like to find love.”
Stella’s eyes widen in surprise. “Do you think Kalos would allow that?”
I frown. “He wouldn’t have a choice. We don’t have a relationship. He made his feelings about that loud and clear.”
Stella shrugs. “I guess I assumed he’d eventually change his mind. It’s not like it’s normal to cuddle with a woman every night and not have some sort of intimacy.”
“That’s needed for the baby.” I swallow. “He’s not going to change his mind and even if he did, why would I want him?”
Stella blinks at me, amused. “Because he’s powerful, gorgeous, and the sex was incredible?”
I shrug. “He doesn’t want me. I’m not going to beg for his affection. Living here while he’s doing everything to avoid me is… whatever. Anyway, there’s more to life than sex.”
Living here is comfortable, but there’s still a thread of loneliness that crops up every so often when I let my mind wander. When I imagine what the future is going to look like.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Stella says. “But yeah, if I’m still single, we can go hunting for partners together. Partners that aren’t going to be stupid and will appreciate us. I’ve heard whispers of a matchmaker. Maybe we’ll try that.”
I tilt my head at that. That wouldn’t be a bad idea. I could ask for someone kind. Someone agreeable who would be excited to help me raise a kid. I don’t think Kalos has any interest in being a parent or helping with anything other than financial support.
Even with him being well off, I didn’t expect the credit card with no limit that Ben gave me on Kalos’s orders.
I should still ask what type of arrangement Kalos wants to have after the baby is born. If I ever see him that is.
The loneliness isn’t just from being here, but being here makes it more obvious. If I’m honest with myself, it’s clung to me for years.