I don’t know if I’m going to get out of this one.
“I understand,” I finally managed.
Bowen’s magic moves around me as he turns me right side up and sets me on my feet. My blood immediately rushes from my head and I stumble. When he catches me, it’s not with his magic this time.
It’s with his hands. They’re very nice hands. Wide and rough in a way I can feel through my thin shirt. Strong, too.
It must be tangling my senses and confusing my instincts. That’s the only explanation, and not even a good one at that. Because instead of stepping away and putting some necessary distance between us, I lean in closer.
Worse still, I grab the front of his shirt and yank him toward me.
And then I kiss Bowen.
CHAPTER 11
Bowen
I WISH I COULD SAY IT HAPPENED TOO FAST FOR ME TO avoid. It’s a lie. The truth is that I let Evelyn pull me down and take my mouth. I didn’t even hesitate. I wanted to kiss her more than I wanted to do the right thing.
So much for honor.
She tastes like freedom. Like the air against my face and the sea beneath the rolling deck of my ship. I’m no poet, but the first stroke of her tongue against mine makes me want to be.
I don’t make a conscious decision to move, but she lets out a tiny little whimper and then my hands are in her hair and stroking down her back, urging her to press more tightly against me. She’s so fucking soft, it drives me wild. I cup her full hips and make a sound that’s damn near a growl.
I need to stop.
A mere minute ago, I was threatening her in the most violent way possible. I have no business grabbing two fistfuls of her ass and lifting her so she can wrap her legs around my waist. I sure as fuck shouldn’t turn and take several staggering steps so I can press her against the nearest tree.
I do it anyway.
All the while, she kisses me as if she might never get another chance, as if she wants to imprint every sensation on her very soul. I feel exactly the same way. I want more. I want everything. And yet I would be satisfied merely kissing this woman for the rest of my days.
Her tongue is just as quick as her words. She teases me, advancing and retreating in turn, almost seeming to taunt me. What am I saying? Of course she’s taunting me. Her hands are in my hair, tugging until she has my mouth exactly at the angle she prefers. There’s no hesitation. If there was, maybe I could stop myself from thrusting against her.
She makes that intoxicating whimpering sound again. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I thrust against her a second time. I’d like nothing more than to rip the pants from her body so that I can have complete access to her, but I have enough of myself still present to not give in to that animalistic urge.
She digs her heels into the small of my back, urging me closer even as she rolls her body against the hard length of my cock. I want to tell her to stop. I want to tell her never to stop. I don’t have the breath to do either.
Her movements become more desperate. Instinct has me matching them even as I fight against the pleasure shooting down my spine and gathering in my balls. I have already made a fool of myself for this woman too many times in our short acquaintance. I won’t do it again. Not here. Not like this.
Evelyn tears her mouth from mine and her whole body goes tense. I have to move fast to cup the back of her head to prevent her from smashing it on the tree behind her. “Oh fuck, Bowen.” She shudders, clasping me to her.
Did she just …
Her fingers clench rhythmically in my hair and the tension eases out of her body. Surely not. Surely I’m misreading things. “Did you just—”
“Not another word.”
That all but confirms it. She orgasmed. “But I didn’t even—”
Evelyn covers my mouth with her hand. “Not. Another. Word.” Her skin is warm against my lips. I almost kiss her palm, but think better of it at the last moment. “Let me down.”
I don’t want to. It’s not only the desire surging through my body in time with my racing heart. I like how soft she is, how good her legs feel clamped around my waist. “We should talk about this,” I speak against her palm. I don’t know what I’m saying. I just need to prolong the moment until I have to step away and reality will come rushing into the new space between us.
“Suffice to say we are never going to talk about this.” She shivers and her thighs tighten around me. “This is complicated and the last thing either of us need is complicated. This is a terrible idea, and I am at my allotment of terrible ideas for an entire lifetime. Let me down, Bowen.”
I let her down. My cock is a painful length against the front of my breeches, but just as I feared, reality splashes me in the face with what I’ve just done.
Evelyn is a traitor. I might have stopped her this time, but she’ll try to escape again. I already felt sick at the thought of hurting her before I knew what she tasted like. I can’t afford to hesitate if it comes to that. If I do … that will make me a traitor just like her.
It would mean that all the terrible things I’ve done since Ezra pulled me out of the water were for nothing. That they meant nothing.
That, more than anything else, snaps me out of the haze of desire. I’d accuse her of casting a spell on me, but lust doesn’t need magic to spark to life. I wanted her from the moment I saw her. I never would have made the first move, but when she kissed me? Yeah, that wasn’t magic propelling me forward.
It was need.
I carefully set her on her feet and step back. Even in the darkness, I can see the flush in her cheeks and the way her lips are plumped from kissing. It makes me want to kiss her again. It makes me want to howl at the fucking moon at how unfair this whole situation is.
“You can’t run again, Evelyn.” I hardly sound like myself, my voice low and ragged. “Don’t make me kill you. Please.”
She looks away and then finally faces me fully. “I can’t make that promise.”
Even saying that is breaking her vows. Or it would be enough to qualify for some captains. Miles would argue for it. “Evelyn.”
“Don’t say my name like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m infuriating you and you want to kiss me again.”
That startles a ragged laugh out of me. “You are infuriating, and I do want to kiss you again.”
“Bowen! Don’t be charming. It’s upsetting and confusing.”
She’s the charming one, especially now that she’s flustered. It makes my chest feel strange to know that I’m the one who flustered her. This woman is dangerous in a way I’m not prepared to deal with. I’ve had lovers over the years, but none have come close to what Evelyn has accomplished in two short days.
She makes me … crave.
“Come back to the ship.”
“I don’t have much choice, do I?” She casts a look filled with longing toward the darkness of the trees. “I don’t think I was made for the sea. I miss the earth beneath my feet.”
That strange feeling in my chest twinges hard enough that I press my hand there as if it were a physical sensation. I don’t like her sad. I have to make her sad to keep her alive. “Come on.”
A low sound stops me cold. It’s not quite a growl, more of a hiss of pure menace. Evelyn turns to peer into the darkness, but I grab her arm. “Don’t move.”