Sophie’s hand dropped from his, and he instantly burned to reach for her again. “She had all these screenshots of flirty messages back and forth. I don’t want to sound jealous, but you told me you hadn’t been with anyone else.”
“I haven’t.” Dash suddenly felt like the tables had completely turned, and he now understood the fervor from Cindy as she tried to explain that she hadn’t sold him out to the press. How could he make Sophie believe him? “I did flirt with her online for a long time before you and I got together. But as soon as you and I kissed, I stopped. I told her I was with someone.”
“Why does she have a photo of you?” Sophie turned her phone screen to him, and he saw a shot from the restaurant where he’d met Cindy. He bit his lip and looked up to the ceiling. He hadn’t known she’d taken a photo at all, but here it was.
“I met up with her a few days ago for the first time,” he admitted. “But it’s only because I needed to confront her. I think she told the press that I was in recovery.”
Sophie frowned, and she rubbed a spot at her temple. “The press knows about…about the drinking?”
Dash exhaled as he realized just how much he hadn’t told Sophie. “When I went to my brother’s premiere the other day, a journalist asked if I’d been seeking treatment for drug abuse.”
“Oh, my God, Dash.” Sophie stepped toward him and took his hand. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.” He squeezed her hand back. “I had to confront Cindy and make sure she doesn’t leak anything else before my dad’s big event. But I don’t know that I’ll ever fully recover from the handmade doll of me that she’d crafted—that was a real surprise to see.”
He nodded toward Sophie’s phone, and she zoomed in on the object on the table. “She even got the eyebrow scar.” Sophie cocked her head. “She’s talented.”
“Yes, she is.” Dash dug his heel into Sophie’s plush rug.
“I think you need to get a restraining order.” A little shiver ran through Sophie, and she shook it off. “She said part of how she found me was because she recognized our yard from my videos.”
His jaw clenched. Yes, he would absolutely need to file a restraining order. He couldn’t have Cindy anywhere near Sophie. He waited for Sophie to say more, but all she did was lick her lips as she stared down at their joined hands.
“Soph?” His pulse pounded in his ears. What was going through her thoughts right now? Had he completely ruined everything once again?
“I believe you. I do. But…” She scratched at her forehead, then looked up at him. “I don’t know why I feel so hurt. I know you didn’t mean to, but it just feels like I don’t even know you. You kept all these big secrets from me and…”
He waited to see if she’d say more, but when she didn’t, he quickly jumped in. “I didn’t tell you about her, because having a stalker is scary, and Cindy seemed harmless enough at first. I didn’t want you to freak out.”
“I’m more freaked out that I didn’t know any of this was going on. Like, you were probably so terrified, and I didn’t even realize it.” Sophie exhaled and rolled out her shoulders. “I don’t want to sound mean or make you feel bad. But, like, what else don’t I know about? Why didn’t you just tell me about her?”
Because I’m a coward.
Because I didn’t want you to leave me.
Because I ruin everything.
Dash sat on the edge of her bed and let his head fall into his hands. He felt sure that he was about to lose Sophie, and he deserved to: he wasn’t good enough for her in the first place. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he’d hurt her, and all he wanted to do was make sure she was okay. “I’m so used to handling things on my own and keeping my life private.” He looked up at her, and she watched him, but there was still hurt lingering behind her eyes. “This just seemed like something I needed to take care of myself. And I didn’t want to drag you into any of it because then you might not want anything to do with me or my messy life. You deserve someone who doesn’t have all these problems.”
Sophie knelt next to the bed. She put a hand on his knee and he covered her hand with his. “It just makes me so sad that you didn’t trust me with any of this.”
And then his heart completely cracked open at the realization that he was losing something he knew he couldn’t give up.
“Dash.” Her voice was so gentle and kind. “I just need a little time to process all this. We’re friends, and we’ll always be friends no matter what. But I think everything has gotten muddled. Like, what are we even doing, really? You don’t want anything serious, but I do. I need to fix things with Poppy, and you need to focus on the speech tomorrow.”
The speech. The absolute last thing he wanted to do was stand in front of a crowd and pretend like he was part of one big happy family. But Sophie was right. He didn’t want to lead her on when he wasn’t ready to get into a real commitment. If he was actually ready to date again, he wouldn’t have hidden all these secrets from her.
“You probably should go home and rest.” She wiped her thumb across his cheek. “Your mom would kill me if she found out I’m the reason you have puffy eyes before a red carpet.”
He laughed, and she cracked a small smile, too. “Are you still coming tomorrow? I’d like you to.” His voice was low because he already knew the answer would be no.
“Let me think about it, okay?” Sophie stood, and so did Dash. But as he walked through her place and toward her front door, his heart raced at the idea that because he’d hidden so much from her, he’d completely lost her trust.
31
SOPHIE
Sophie was in a swing-a-baseball-bat-and-blow-car-windows-out kind of mood, so she’d picked a fiery-red dress with a plunging neckline and gold kitten heels. Her outfit had to match her thoughts, which were vengeful and a bit angry.
Mostly, she was angry at herself for trusting Dash. And then angry at him for keeping so many secrets. But also angry about the fact that she might never fall in love. She was close to falling with Dash, but she’d also been close to falling with Carla, and look how that had turned out. She’d always be the romance author who’d never fall in love.
She couldn’t wait to film that TikTok video.
“Not that Dash was ever even a real option, seeing as how he doesn’t want a relationship!” She shouted the words to the shirtless photo of Richard Gere that she’d taped to her bedroom wall, just above Rain Boots’s bowl. They both needed a pick-me-up after the earthquake from the day before. “Why did I do this to myself? Why did I pursue something with an unavailable person?”
She still wasn’t sure if she was going to the Walk of Fame ceremony, even though she’d already dressed the part. She just didn’t know if seeing Dash was a good idea. Maybe having her in the audience would be a distraction, in a bad way. Still, he’d told her he wanted her there, and even though they were in a kind of fight, or whatever, he’d shown up for her—getting her to write again—and she needed to return the favor.