I glanced down, finding the top ripped. Dragging my fingers over the gaping hole Knox had put in the fabric, I jerked my head back, drinking in the calmness of his face. The moment I reached for him in the light, he spun over, his head at an awkward angle from the light spinning him so his back was to the floor. Stepping closer to him, my hand slid over his naked chest, skimming over the sleek, hard muscles. Heat drifted over my palm, proving he was still alive.
“Knox, I need you. You have to come back to me,” I whispered, then lowered my head, placing my lips against his. “I love you. I can’t fight her without you beside me. You’re my fucking anchor. Without you, I’m adrift on a churning sea. Come back to me, monster.” Kissing his lips, then forehead, I turned, uncaring, who watched my foundation crumble.
Knox was my fucking air, and without it, I couldn’t breathe. He’d kept me grounded, as if I’d become unhinged without his strength. I didn’t want to lose him, nor could I survive if he was gone.
“Do we know if Hecate’s aware that he’s . . . gone?” My words cracked, refusing to come out as anything but broken.
“I’ve been keeping watch of the citadel. It’s a bevy of activity. There’s been an endless parade of dark witches converging into the city, then entering the gates. Hecate hasn’t been seen since we saw her with Knox inside the gates.” Zyion leaned against the farthest wall, his eyes scanning my face.
“Basilius, can you take dragon form?” I asked, even as my mind grasped onto a way to get inside the citadel.
“Yes. We all can,” he confirmed.
Bowing my head, I studied Knox’s sleeping face. If I exposed the dragons, would she come at us twice as hard? Absolutely, but only if we lost. Pushing my fingers through his hair, I tried to consider what he’d want me to do. What would Knox do if he were the one in my position? He’d rain down hell on Hecate until she went to ground.
I couldn’t kill her outright. Not without draining her endless supply of magic. That meant I had to figure out how to begin disassembling her extensive network.
“What are you thinking, Aria?” Killian asked, his tone holding trust.
Could I lead his men into battle? I wasn’t the warrior Knox was, nor did I have the ability to lead with unfaltering strength. I did have the mind for strategic warfare, or so he’d continually told me that I had it in me. But would they follow me in and trust me not to get them killed? Turning toward Killian, I smiled.
“I think it’s time she learns that we hit back, and we hit back harder when we’re wounded. I just need time to figure out how we do so without losing anyone else. We’d need to hit hard and fast without her realizing we were coming. You said she had dark witches gathering at the citadel?”
“Hundreds of them,” Zyion confirmed. “As if something is about to happen.”
“Or she’s about to attack us,” I whispered, even as my stare drifted back to Knox.
If Hecate was gathering witches, it was more than likely she was planning an attack. Her target would be something big enough to warrant gathering attention to herself. The only threat to her right now, was us. Which meant she was coming here, to where Knox was healing. That wasn’t something I could allow.
I couldn’t allow her to reach Knox a second time. In no world would I allow her to take him from me again. Instead, I’d need to come up with something quickly, and stop her from ever stepping foot outside of the citadel. But they were right. I couldn’t do so if I was weak or depleted.
“I’ll take that bath, Meat Suit.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Aria
The bath had cleared the remaining fog from my head. I’d spent the majority of it searching for a way to prevent Hecate from realizing Knox was incapacitated, if we attacked. She’d said she only had to remove one of us in order to win. It’s why she pitted us against one another. That meant she couldn’t know, or she’d fight harder.
I stared down at Knox’s face, tears rolling down my cheeks. It terrified me that he had not awoken from the land healing him. Knox wasn’t the type to go down, ever. I’d never even seen him hurt before, which was part of the reason I was freaking out. Knox didn’t get wounded, shit, he didn’t even complain about being tired or hungry. I’d never been down that long before. I was normally healed within a few hours, but he was heading into day eight. Pushing the silken, dark blond strands from his face, I exhaled a shuddered breath.
“Come on, Knox. I need you to fight for us. You’re in there, I know it. I’d feel it if you were gone. If our love was gone, I’d sense it,” I whispered through the tears burning my throat. “You are so much better at strategizing than I am. I’m more of a ‘burn it all down’ kind of girl.”
“He’s going to be okay, Aria,” Esme whispered, slowly stepping from the shadows. “I know you want to rush in and attack, but shouldn’t we wait?”
“For what, Esme?” I asked, turning toward her. “Should we wait for Hecate to come here? It’s one of the only strongholds still standing. If she reaches the gates, we won’t be able to defend it against the army of witches she’s gathering. Hecate thinks we’re weak, she’ll use it to her advantage.”
“So, we go and attack, and what? Rise from the ashes?” Esme’s tone was worried, her eyes beaming with it as well.
“I’m not planning to rise from any ashes. This time, I’m planning to make them,” I hissed as I let the bitterness on my tongue sharpen my words. “If I can’t have him, then I’ll burn this world until all that remains is the ashes of the love we once had. The love she destroyed, and stole from me. I’ll show her the flames of my anger, which is all that remains inside me.”
I hadn’t been a monster before, not entirely. I’d clung on to the optimistic, soft-hearted girl I’d entered the Nine Realms as. She had to die in order to become what the world needed. Knox had been right: the world hadn’t needed a hero. Heroes had too many rules to fight against villains and come out on top. In order to fight a monster, you had to become an even bigger monster.
“What about the others? Do you trust them enough to go into battle beside them?” Esme questioned as her lips tugged into a frown.
“We either learn to work together, or we watch this world burn. I can’t do this alone, Esme. Not anymore. I’ve been fighting alone for my entire life. I’m not the only one hurting here, either. It’s time to make the sheep into lions, and unleash their anger upon the one who fueled the flames. If we’re to win, then we can’t falter. We hit her hard, and we hit her fast with no fucking mercy offered. After this battle, we’ll have a choice to make. It’s no longer going to be a question of what would we do to end it.” Pushing my fingers through his hair, I felt the tears swimming in my eyes as I grieved the girl I’d been.
“Then what is the question?”
“What won’t we do to end it,” I whispered, even as I shoved the old me in to a nameless, unmarked grave within my soul.
“And if we end up dying?” Violet eyes brimmed with worry, even as she brought her thumb to her mouth, chewing the nail while waiting for my reply.