Kilian was an angel. Dropped into the mortal world to make everyone else feel the sharp sting of inferiority and the sharper burn of want.
She quickly looked away, climbing into his bed, and hugging the hot water bottle against her stomach, as she texted the pictures of her flower bunches to Theodore and Moses with a simple “Happy birthday” message for each of them. Theodore texted back almost immediately.
Theodore: Wow.
Theodore: I would say that nobody has ever given me flowers before, but Kilian beat you to it.
Isobel: Kilian gave you flower, singular. I gave you flowers, plural. I am still the top gentleman around these parts.
Theodore: You’re smiling right now, aren’t you?
Isobel: A little.
Theodore: Come in here so I can see it.
Isobel: No. Cameras.
Theodore: Bring your gentleman apprentice and make yourselves invisible.
Isobel: To do what?
Theodore: With Kilian around, nothing. But we could make him leave.
Isobel: And then what?
Theodore: Fuck.
Theodore: Fucking fuck.
Theodore: Nothing at all.
Isobel: You okay?
Theodore: Peachy. You okay, Illy-stone?
Isobel: I feel like I’m hanging off the edge of a cliff and someone is up there picking off my fingers one by one.
Theodore: I know it’s scary, but you’ll always have me to catch you. I’ll never let you fall.
She typed out Why? but then immediately deleted it. It didn’t matter. Maybe he still thought he owed her his life after what happened during their first year in the library, or maybe it was because she was his mate, but the truth was, she knew the feeling. If Theodore ever fell, she would catch him in an instant, and not because of her Sigma nature. She would catch him even if it crushed her.
Isobel: Thank you, Theo.
In response, he sent a screenshot of the home screen of his phone. He had saved her flowers as the background picture. She felt her stomach flip, and a stupid, wobbly smile overtook her entire face, remaining until she finally put her phone aside, resigned to the fact that Moses wasn’t going to respond at all.
12
The Two Sides Of Torture
Kilian couldn’t sleep.
He tossed the covers from his lap and sat up on the couch, stretching out the kinks in his neck. He glanced toward the bed where Isobel was curled onto her side, her limp arm reaching across the mattress in his direction. She had tossed and turned for a while before finally succumbing to sleep, her subtle scent clawing across the room and begging him to crawl into bed beside her.
She smelled distressed, but also dizzyingly, delicately happy, and he wasn’t sure which note in her perfume drew him in the hardest.
No, it was the delicate, airy sweetness. That was his favourite.
He pulled out his phone, staring at the dull reflection of moonlight across his screen before he finally tapped it and brought up the secure messaging app.
Kilian: Anyone awake?
He could have called a group meeting, but it wasn’t a good idea to mess with the cameras too much when Isobel was in the dorm. They would be watching too closely. It was safer to talk over text.
Mikel’s response came first, which was hardly surprising. He slept with his phone on a table right beside his head, the volume turned up as loud as possible, always worried that one of them would get into trouble.
In all fairness … they often got into trouble.
Mikel （admin）： Are you okay?
Kilian: I’m fine.
He fiddled with the worn buttons along the side of his phone, waiting for someone to have something to say.
Mikel （admin）： Isobel okay?
Kilian: She’s asleep. She was exhausted.
Theodore: I’m awake.
Moses: Awake now.
Cian: What’s on your mind, Kili?
Oscar: Awake.
Niko: mup
Niko: mop
Niko: up
Theodore: Niko is up.
Niko: Ye
Niko: p
Kalen （admin）： Is this about Eve again?
Oscar is typing …
Oscar has been muted.
Kilian: … yeah.
Moses: Pretty sure I just heard Oscar’s door open. He’s already worked up after Carter came out of the shower smelling like … well, you know.
Elijah: Gabriel, lock your door.
Gabriel: What?
Gabriel: I always lock my door.
Gabriel: Who the fuck is banging on my door?
Gabriel: Wait … reading the other messages.
Moses: What does this have to do with Gabriel?
Theodore: Why am I always the last person to know everything?
Kilian: Guys.
Kalen （admin）： Mikel?
Mikel （admin）： On it.
Niko: Jesus Christ. Honestly. What happened now?
Elijah: I thought we all knew.
Niko: That Carter was touching herself in the shower? Yeah. We might be dumber than you, but we have these things called NOSES.
Elijah: That Gabriel was responsible.
Niko: Say what now?
Moses: I just heard Theo’s door.
Kilian: Guys.
Kilian: You’re going to wake her up.
Kilian: Please.
Mikel （admin）： I think everyone should be nicer to Oscar. He’s a good guy, really.
Moses: Hey Oscar.
Mikel （admin）： Hey dude.
Moses: Where is Mikki?
Kilian’s vision of the screen began to blur, his heart pounding for no reason at all. He quickly blinked through the haze, tipping his head back against the couch and counting slowly to ten as the phone kept vibrating in his palm.
On the bed, Isobel’s forehead scrunched up in a tight wince, like the giant ball of anxiety he had almost choked on was trying to climb into her while she slept. He closed his eyes and counted again, ignoring his phone until the ball loosened, and Isobel’s face smoothed out again.
Mikel （admin）： I’m back.
Oscar has been unmuted.
Theodore: Kili?
Theodore: You okay?
Cian: All good, Kil?
Niko: Let me know you’re okay or I’m coming in.
He scoffed at the tremble in his fingers, the remnants of the panic that had tried to drag him under.
Kilian: I’m good.
Kilian: We need to decide what to do about Eve. She knows everything.
Kalen （admin）： Our contacts in the OGGB are saying that no new intel has come from Eve or Aron.
Kilian: Are we still waiting to see if Aron will talk?
Even typing his ex’s name made him want to stumble to the bathroom and throw up, his brain pinching with an immediate headache. Aron hadn’t been the love of his life or anything, but he had been Kilian’s closest friend at Green Mountain before Kilian applied for Ironside. Aron had always been selfish and indulgent. Even manipulative, sometimes. And sometimes that manipulation had looked like cruelty … but this was beyond anything Kilian could have suspected.
Kalen （admin）： No. Aron has stuck with the same story. Eve sought him out when she went home for the break, told him you were secretly mated to Isobel, and told him she had a plan to break the bond. Apparently, he didn’t know Eve was going to cut her. He thought Isobel’s light would manifest on the outside and Eve could snatch it up. But he did nothing to stop her.
Mikel （admin）： He’s repeated that same story over and over, and then he “demonstrated” Eve’s power. They forced him to sign a confession absolving Eve of all responsibility, and now he can’t talk anymore.
Kilian blew out a sharp breath, his body jolting with the memory of what had happened when the officials pulled him from Ironside.