Jacob moves toward the door and then pauses. Please don’t let him say anything to make this even worse. A moment later, the door creaks open. As soon as it gently closes behind him, I’m crying again.
I reach up to wipe my eyes and a little furry head pops out from under my arm. Gio looks up into my face and meows. I pick him up and clutch him to my chest. “I’m done with men, Gio. Except you. You’re the man of my dreams.”
Gio purrs in agreement.
Chapter 23
September
Sadie, can you come into my office?”
I look up in surprise from the peach cupcakes I’m decorating. My automatic reaction is that I’m about to be sacked, but… No. Xavier gets too much joy from firing people publicly, so it can’t be that.
“Uh, sure.” I leave my pastry bag on the prep table and follow him into his office.
He closes the door behind us and points to the couch. I sink down warily while he settles on the chair behind his desk.
“I’ve been hearing a lot of feedback about the restaurant’s desserts lately.” He pauses for me to react, but I’m honestly not sure what to say. Is the feedback negative? Positive? No doubt he’s withholding that information because he gets a creepy satisfaction in leaving me off-balance.
“Okay…，” I murmur.
“That feedback has been good,” he finally deigns to tell me. “Very good.”
I’m still not sure what he’s looking for. Although I’d go as far as to say the best pastries at Xavier’s are all my concept, the executive pastry chef technically gets the credit.
“Uh, that’s great.”
There’s another pause where he nods slowly. “It’s not lost on me that the success of the restaurant’s desserts should be credited to you.” He presses a hand to his chest. “After myself, of course.”
Of course.
But then I register the rest of his statement, and my eyes widen. Did he say credit? To me? “Oh wow. Thanks. I mean, the whole pastry team works really hard to ensure that everything that leaves the kitchen is the highest quality, but I do enjoy the process of creating new recipes, and obviously I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to execution…” Oh God, not the nervous babble again. I snap my mouth shut.
“It’s also not lost on me that you’ve become quite the leader. You’ve embraced your role in training Doug and the other new pastry staff, and you’re making a real effort to help support the other divisions of the restaurant. Your willingness to focus on customer service with our VIP clientele is especially notable.”
I sit up straight in my seat. Is it possible Alex was actually right when he argued Xavier wanted me to work in the dining room to test whether I was willing to be a team player? Maybe Xavier really didn’t know that Rob was getting handsy. I mean, how would he know unless someone reported it? And since I didn’t report it, it’s likely nobody else did either.
I give Xavier my most magnanimous smile. “I’m just trying to do my part for the good of the restaurant, sir.”
“It’s appreciated.”
“Well, I appreciate your… appreciation.”
“Now.” He shuffles some papers around on his desk. “I’d like to get to the point of why I called you in here.”
Yes. Please get to the point.
I rub my sweaty palms on my pants.
Xavier holds up a paper that looks to be a letter of some kind. “This is from Dennis Petrucci.” Xavier’s current executive pastry chef. “It details Dennis’s plans to end his tenure at Xavier’s starting in the New Year.”
Rumors have been flying that Dennis is considering job offers. But nobody has been able to verify that until now. I’m not about to blow this moment with my nervous babble, so I nod silently.
Xavier lowers the letter to the table and looks across the room at me. “I won’t be making any announcements about the hiring of a new executive pastry chef until we tell the staff about Dennis’s departure in a couple of months. But I wanted to let you know that I have my eye on you for the position.”
I sit there frozen on the couch. Is this really happening? Have the long hours and hard work and caving to Xavier’s ridiculous demands finally paid off?
“Thank you, sir,” I manage to choke out. “I’m very interested in this opportunity, and I’m willing to do everything in my power to elevate Xavier’s dessert offerings to the highest level.”
Xavier nods. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“Absolutely.”
“All right.” Xavier goes back to shuffling papers. “That will be all.”
I hurry out of his office and back into the kitchen, dying to tell someone about this, but Xavier made it clear that he wants to make the announcement in his own time. So I go back to icing my cupcakes, more determined than ever to make sure they’re absolutely perfect. And if I have a huge grin on my face for the rest of my shift, well, I just can’t help it.
On my walk home that evening, some of my joy dissipates. This promotion is the sort of thing that, in the past, I would have shared with Kasumi. And I would have talked to her about breaking up with Alex, and the mess I made with Jacob, too. But of course, I can’t, because she’s not speaking to me.
I pull out my phone and open it to Kasumi’s Instagram page. I’m relieved to see that she seems to be doing much better than I was after being fired from Xavier’s. She posts beautifully curated collections of photos promoting parties and events all over the city, and when I zoom in on her face, she seems really happy.
On impulse, I send her a message. Hey, I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I miss you.
I stop on the sidewalk to stare at the screen. Kasumi is constantly on social media, so maybe she’ll see my message right away. Maybe she’ll even respond. But a minute goes by, and then another one, and… nothing. I switch back to her Instagram profile, and just like I thought, she is online because at that moment, a photo pops up in her feed. It’s a selfie of Kasumi grinning at the camera with Sonya and Marianne, the servers we used to be friends with at Xavier’s, the ones who hated working with me in the front of the house. I’m not sure her message could be clearer.
Heart heavy, I sink down on the front step of a random apartment building.
Kasumi isn’t going to give me a second chance. I blew it.
Since I’m already on Instagram, and I have no reason to hurry home, I switch over to Alex’s profile. When I wasn’t crying over sitcoms or eating chocolate chips straight out of the bag during my Very Bad Year, I was creeping on Alex’s social media feeds. It was about this time that the blond woman showed up, the one I’m pretty sure he started dating after he broke up with me.
But this time around, I broke up with Alex, and instead of a blond woman, his Instagram feed is full of photos of expensive cocktails and the guys from work hanging out at their usual bar. He must not be dating her. If I scroll back farther, there are dozens of images from when we were together. I don’t want to look, but my gaze is drawn there anyway. I focus on a photo of Alex holding two of my homemade strawberry rhubarb doughnuts up to his eyes like glasses.