Chapter 41
I spin around in my seat to find Jacob standing on the stage in the front of the room. My breath hitches at the familiar sight of him: dark hair tousled from the wind, right hand tapping out a nervous rhythm on his thigh, those glasses that do all kinds of things to my insides. He dips his head before looking up, and then his eyes connect with mine. I shove on my brother’s arm until he moves out of my way and lets me climb out from the booth. Making my way toward the stage, I keep my gaze glued to Jacob’s, and when I’m about ten feet away, I stumble to a stop.
“Hi, Jacob,” I whisper, terrified and full of hope.
“Hi, Sadie,” he says softly. “I got your message.”
“Yeah? What did you think?”
He pauses, tilting his head to regard me across the distance. “I think,” he says. “I think I’ve loved you so long in silence, and it’s time for me to say it out loud.”
And then…
And then.
He sits down at the piano.
He takes a deep breath.
He lifts his hands.
And his fingers begin to move across the keys.
I gasp. My eyes widen and my head swings to my brother and friends in their booth, and then back to Jacob. What is he doing? Jacob doesn’t perform in front of people. Ever. I can see he’s nervous, I can see his hands shake, just a little, but he gives me a half smile, letting me know it’s okay. And before I can react, he leans into the mic and starts to sing. And I swear in that moment, my heart cracks like crème br?lée. Tears well up in my eyes at his beautiful, textured voice, and those dark, intense eyes focused directly on me.
I don’t recognize the song at first because the original is an up-tempo rock song played on the guitar, but Jacob has completely transformed it, stripping it down to simple piano chords and a beautiful, slow, sad melody. When it dawns on me, I let out a startled, teary laugh.
He’s singing a Tom Petty song.
I stand there, tears dripping down my cheeks, as the final chord rings out on the piano. He lifts his fingers from the keys and turns on the bench to look at me, scrubbing a hand across his forehead. And it’s so familiar. It’s déjà vu again, except last time, we were alone in his apartment, and it was the first time I’d ever heard him play. Last time, it was the moment I’d started to fall in love with him, and now, I’ve well and truly fallen.
Jacob stands, and I run up the stairs to the stage and into his arms. He crushes me against him, and I fist his shirt in my hands, holding on tight. And then he leans down and kisses me. From somewhere far away, a cheer goes up, echoing through the café, and a champagne bottle pops. Laughing, Jacob and I break apart and turn to find our friends standing and clapping and yelling.
Jacob looks at me, his smile open and unrestrained, without a hint of shyness. “I love you, Sadie.” He takes my face in his hands and kisses me again.
From somewhere far behind me, I hear Owen ask Mrs. Kaminski if he can try on her feather boa, and I smile, grateful to my brother for the distraction, for giving us this little bit of privacy. I have so much I want to say to Jacob, so much lost time to make up for. I pull him down on the piano bench next to me. “I found your CD, the one with the songs you wrote for me. That’s what I was doing in the car in front of your parents’ house that night. I was listening to it, and then it broke. I never got to hear past the first song. But that song is beautiful. It’s perfect, and I can’t believe you just did that right now. That you played and sang for me in public—”
“Sadie.” Jacob cuts me off mid-babble, which is probably the right move on his part. He smiles. “I’ve been waiting about two decades to have you in my arms and to hear you say something to me, and I’m wondering if maybe you could just—”
I clutch his shirt, pulling him closer. “I love you.”
He exhales a deep, shaky breath filled with so much emotion, it’s like he’s been holding it for all these years. I say it again, and then again. “You know,” I tell him, “it’s hard to shut me up once I get going. You might get sick of hearing it.”
“From that day you stood up to a bully on the playground for me—” He gazes out across the café as if he’s picturing it play out. The dumpster, the saxophone case, and me telling some kid I’d squish him like a bug. “I thought you were amazing.” He turns to look at me now, admiration burning in his eyes. I remember the two of us on his couch during my Very Bad Year. I was lamenting my big mouth, wishing it didn’t get me into so much trouble. And Jacob said…
I wish you could see yourself the way I do.
So, this is what it’s like to be loved by someone who appreciates who I am, not just who I could be or should be. Not just who they want me to be.
“After that,” Jacob continues, “there was never going to be anyone else for me.” He gives me a lopsided smile and shrugs. “I waited two decades to hear you say you love me, and it’s going to take a lot more than two to get tired of it.”
“But what about Paige?” I ask. “Owen said you were happy.”
Jacob shakes his head. “Owen and I talked about it after you left your message. I think I led him to believe Paige and I were more into each other than we really were. I think I wanted us to be more into each other than we really were. But the truth is, both Paige and I were trying to get over other people, and it was convenient to hang out with someone who lives next door. But our hearts weren’t really in it.”
“But you kept bringing her home for the holidays.”
Jacob shrugs. “Her family lives in California. I didn’t want her to be alone.”
He was being a good friend. Of course he was.
“So, you and Paige are over?”
His lips tug into a lopsided smile. “She didn’t even like me enough to spend a couple of weeks playing Olivia Rodrigo on repeat. It took her about three days to start dating a guy named Brandon who she met on a dating app.”
I choke back a laugh. “Paige and Brandon met on a… dating app. Wow. That’s—” Some serious cosmic intervention. “That’s amazing. Good for them.” I have a feeling Alex is going to meet that Instagram woman any day now.
Somehow, despite my meddling, everything worked out exactly as it was supposed to. Out across the café, Owen is wearing Mrs. Kaminski’s feather boa, and she has his beanie hat pulled over her gray bob. José Luis leans over to adjust their poses so he can sketch their portrait on a napkin. Kasumi and Zoe are giggling over Kasumi’s phone, no doubt playing my tell-off video again, counting how many retweets it’s gotten.
I turn back to Jacob. By some miracle, Jacob is here with me. “I love you,” I tell him again. And then I grab his hand and we hop off the stage, making our way over to everyone who matters most in the world.
Epilogue
January
I wake to the sun slanting in the window and the events of the night before on my mind. Telling off Xavier. Partnering with Zoe at Higher Grounds. And Jacob. My heart melts like icing on a cinnamon roll when I think of Jacob onstage, playing the piano and singing just for me. I still can’t believe he performed in front of everyone, and it almost feels like a dream.