“Why me? Why not send Niridia?”
“Niridia is already on a mission for me.”
I raise a brow.
Alosa growls one word. “Draxen.”
Alosa loves Riden Allemos more than anything else in the world. Unfortunately, he has the most despicable human being for a brother.
“That was fast,” I say. She’d only just gotten the man tied to the firing dummy to admit who sent him.
“I dispatched her before this little temper tantrum of Draxen’s today. I’ve always known he contests my rule and wishes to set himself up as the king of pirates.”
“Boy doesn’t know when to quit.”
“Indeed not.”
“Why not send me after Draxen and Niridia after the missing girls?”
Alosa sighs wistfully. “I’m not allowed to kill Draxen. For some unfathomable reason, Riden still has a fondness for him. Since I care about Riden, I’m forced to allow that scum of a man to walk the world. Hence, I sent Niridia.”
“Mandsy?” I ask.
“Is with Niridia. I thought he might be a two-woman job.”
“Wise,” I say.
“Thank you.”
Silence fills the room.
“Sorinda, you’re the only other person I can trust with something this important. I know it’s outside your usual duties, but would you please consider it? For me?”
I cannot believe she even has to ask. I would do anything for Alosa. She found me when I was at my darkest. She gave me a purpose. Gave me a family again. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.
“I’ll do it.”
She must hear me clearly, but she doesn’t relax yet. In fact, she looks even more on edge now.
“What is it?” I ask.
“You will be sailing into uncharted waters.”
“I gathered that. I’m not afraid.”
“I know you’re not. But for that kind of voyage, you’ll need a seasoned helmsman…”
She lets her words trail off, allowing me to come to my own conclusions.
And, oh, do I. I know exactly who she means.
My blood heats, the desire to kill seems to prod at my very skin, and I can’t help the frown that takes over my face.
“I know, I know,” Alosa says, holding her hands up defensively. “I really do know how much you hate him, but he’s the best I’ve got. I can’t give those girls anything less than that. If there’s any hope of finding them at all, Kearan will manage it.”
“He stares at me.”
“You’re lovely,” she says, as though it’s meant to be some sort of compliment.
“He tries to speak to me.”
“You’re a fine conversationalist.”
“He wants me, Alosa.”
She taps her foot on the ground twice, but she doesn’t back down from my stare. “Yeah, probably.”
“Definitely,” I stress. “He cleaned himself up. He stopped drinking. He started exercising. He changed, Alosa.”
“Those are good things,” she points out.
“Not if he thinks those changes entitle him to me. I’m not some sort of reward for good behavior.”
At that, Alosa straightens. “Has he laid a finger on you?”
“No.”
“Has he made any suggestive or lewd comments?”
“No.”
“Do you have any reason to believe you’re in any sort of danger from him?”
I pause, giving the words serious thought. “No.”
She cocks her head to one side. “Then what’s the problem?”
I finally drop my carefully composed features. I never can seem to manage my stoicism long around her. “I’m not like you, Alosa. I’m not used to men looking at me and wanting me. I like to hide. I like to be unseen. I don’t want people thinking about me at all. But Kearan? He sees me. He always seems to find where I’m hiding.”
Knocking comes at the door, but Alosa doesn’t move to open it. “It’s been over a year since he quit drinking on our trip to the Isla de Canta. Now that he’s been sober so long, he’s really come into his own.”
I just stare at her.
She shrugs. “He’s actually funny and smart and trustworthy. Besides, he likely doesn’t even think about you anymore. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.”
I don’t even blink.
She sighs. “Have you ever considered that maybe it’s time for you to stop hiding?”
The knock comes again, and Alosa leaves me to ponder that while she answers the door.
Stop hiding? Ludicrous. I’m an assassin. Hiding is what I do. It’s how I stay good at my job. I have to keep sharp if I’m to remain useful to Alosa.
She admits none other than Kearan into the room.
My walls go back up immediately.
When he sees me, he freezes, before a smile graces his lips. “You’re back.”
“Obviously,” I say.
He gives me a once-over, but there’s nothing heated in the gesture. It’s almost like he’s … looking for injuries. Either way, I look pointedly at Alosa. See?
“Kearan,” she says, succeeding in taking his gaze off me.
“You sent for me?” he asks, and I realize that must have been what Alosa whispered to Riden.
“I have a job for you. I’m assembling a crew led by Captain Sorinda Veshtas to find a missing ship, and I’d like you to be the sailing master for the voyage.”
There’s a pause in which I feel Kearan’s gaze shift to me briefly before resettling on Alosa. I don’t let a single muscle on my face twitch.
“If Captain Veshtas is amenable, I am happy to serve,” Kearan says.
Of course he’s happy to. I want to scowl, but I remain strong.
Alosa turns to me. “Are you amenable, Captain?”
I blink at her, let the silence fill the room until it grows to uncomfortable depths. Finally, I turn to Kearan. Stars, but he’s a big man. Wide enough for two men, tall enough to tower over everyone. His white skin bears a light tan from all the time in the sun, but he’s not handsome by any stretch of the word. Though he’s finally trimmed his hair and beard, his nose is large and has been broken too many times. His eyes are too far apart on his face.
It’s one of the few things I do like about him: the fact that he’s not handsome. He looks real, like a man hardened by life on the sea, though I would never admit that to anyone. Not even Alosa.
He wears a black coat that’s now just a size too big for him with his weight loss. Muscle has replaced most of the fat, and what fat is left looks good on him. Again, it makes him look real. The coat has dozens of pockets sewn onto it, which used to hold all his flasks of rum.
Those are now floating around in the ocean somewhere, thanks to me.
He’s not much older than me. Before I left to take care of Vordan, Enwen put together a surprise party to celebrate Kearan’s twentieth birthday （which he hated）。 I had my eighteenth birthday just last week overseas, which was nice. There was no one aboard the ship who knew me well enough to make a fuss.
Kearan doesn’t look away from my stare, which is impressive. There are few men who dare to hold my gaze. I can respect that, even knowing what I do about him.
“If you can follow orders, I have no problem with you joining the crew.” If I can pretend like he doesn’t get to me, then eventually he’ll grow bored and move on. It works on bullies, so why not enthusiastic men?