“No, it wasn’t anything you did. I cared too much about your good opinion. I didn’t think what I did was forgivable. I was stuck for a long time. And then you forced me and Kearan together on this voyage, and it was the best thing that’s happened to me since the day you found me and convinced me to join your crew.”
Alosa smiles. “If that’s the case, then I’m happy for you. I’m happy for you both.”
“Thank you.”
“And of course I don’t hold your past against you or think less of you for it. If anything, I’m more astonished by you than ever. You’re a rare soul, Sorinda. I’m proud to know you and call you a friend.”
I feel my face softening, so I turn it toward the floorboards. “There is one more thing I wanted to discuss. I think that perhaps I might like to train some of the girls.”
“Train? As pirates?”
“Assassins.”
“Stars,” Alosa says. “I’m just trying to imagine more than one of you at the keep. The land king will shat his royal britches once he hears of it.”
“I have your permission, then?”
“Of course. I think it’s a wonderful idea. I’ll spread the word and get you recruits. Besides, if this means you’ll spend more time at the keep, then I’m all for it.”
We return to the Drifta’s ship, where Alosa’s crew is catching up with friends who’ve been apart during our journey. Riden finds us and takes position at Alosa’s other side.
“There aren’t any injured, but the crew seemed grateful for a change in food options. I understand there was quite a lot of fish being eaten. The Drifta didn’t know what to make of the bread we had with us. Do they not grow wheat? Just how cold was it up there?”
“Cold enough to freeze the blood in your veins,” I answer.
Riden makes a face before throwing his arm over Alosa. He pulls her in close and kisses the side of her head.
“How is the situation with your brother?” I ask him. “What of Mandsy and Niridia?”
Alosa answers for him. “I’m expecting an update on the situation very soon. Last I heard, they were close to apprehending Draxen. It’s taken an unusually long time. I’m not sure what to make of that, but I trust that Niridia will get the job done, especially with Mandsy watching her back.”
“Aye,” Riden says. “Draxen doesn’t stand a chance.”
DURING THE NEXT LEG of the voyage, Kearan and I have a talk about the panaceum and how our lives now depend on its proximity to me at all times. We’re in agreement that we won’t use it to prolong our lives. We only need the one to share together. That’s plenty.
A lot has changed at Queen’s Keep since I last saw it. Half the fortifications are done. There are barracks housing different crews, a dock has been furnished out to sea for the ships to anchor off of, and the kitchens and queen’s quarters are fully done.
The builders are still working on the training grounds, where Alosa says she’ll have them make a special section just for me and my group of aspiring assassins. Just yesterday, she sent me the sign-ups for the hopefuls.
Twelve girls and one lad, that translator Zarian.
As I go over the names again, Kearan looks over my shoulder.
“Naturally, Roslyn managed to sign up first,” I say.
“She’s learning from the best. Of course she’s excited. What will you start them with? Knifework?”
“Footwork. If you can’t get close enough for the kill, there’s no need to bother with a blade.”
“Hmm.” Kearan leaps behind me and tries to wrap an arm around my neck, but I sensed the move before he made it. I duck, and his arm brushes nothing but air. I have a knife out and pressed against his side before he can do anything else.
“You’re quicker than lightning,” he says, with that full grin that makes me want to return it. I don’t usually, though. Kearan prefers to coax them from me anyway.
“Maybe you’re slower than mud.”
“That tongue is quick, too. Maybe you should teach them that as well.”
“An assassin’s job should be done without any talking.”
“Then what else will you teach them?”
“How to be fearless.”
He cocks his head to one side. “How does one teach that?”
“You find a way to conquer what you’re afraid of. You face it over and over again until it doesn’t affect you anymore. As a small child, I used to fear the dark, but I have a mantra that helped me stay strong. You can’t be afraid of the dark when you’re the monster lurking in the shadows.”
“Bloody hell, Sorinda.”
“I know, but I think I’ll amend it now. I’ve learned more about myself, and I don’t think I need to be a monster anymore.”
He wraps his arms around me, and this time I let him as he pulls me in for an embrace. “You were never a monster.”
“No, but I liked to think of myself that way. It helped me to feel strong. Made everything all right as long as I was taking down worse monsters.”
“Perhaps that is what we should call your new trainees. Sorinda’s monsters.”
I smile. “I’ve no doubt I’ll think of them as such by the end of each session.”
“Whatever you think of them, I promise it’s nothing compared to what they’ll think of you. You will give them hell every day and make them work for it. As well you should.”
He leans in for a kiss, and I return it.
“Shall we go down to dinner?” he asks.
I nod and turn to blow out the candle of our shared rooms. He finds my hand in the dark and leads me into the hallway.
I’ve learned it’s okay to lean on others for strength, but it’s even more important to find your own strength from within. I discovered mine once I realized it was okay for me to exist without guilt any longer. It’s okay for me to share myself and my knowledge with others.
And that’s when it comes to me.
You can’t be afraid of the dark when you’re the light keeping the shadows at bay.
Acknowledgments
I ALWAYS MEANT TO come back to this world to tell Sorinda and Kearan’s story. I’m so thankful to the team at Feiwel and Friends for allowing me to write this book. Thank you especially to Holly and Brittany for fighting so hard for my pirate books. My gratitude also goes out to Jean, Gaby, Leigh Ann, Dawn, Celeste, Morgan, Kristin, Kaitlin, Ebony, Jordan, Samira, Tovah, the audio team, and everyone else behind the scenes who I didn’t work with directly.
Thank you to the team at BookEnds Literary, especially my agent, Rachel Brooks. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you read this book so fast and showed excitement about it before anyone else did!
Thank you to Caitlyn McFarland and Mikki Helmer for brainstorming ideas with me in the early stages of this book. I had a hard time organizing my thoughts, and your feedback was instrumental in helping me cement the plot structure. Caitlyn, I especially appreciated the reminder that people are thirsty for Imhotep.
Thank you to Grace Wynter and others who wished to remain anonymous, for your early reading of this book.
Thank you to BookTok. You guys are what made it possible for me to write this new book so soon. Your enthusiasm for this series was contagious, and it spread word of Alosa faster than anything else could.