“Had enough, my lady?”
She narrows her eyes. I think she’s about to concede defeat, but then her attention shifts to something behind my shoulder. A wrinkle of uncertainty forms in my brain. God, not a fucking wildcat again . . .
Before I can look, a chipmunk jumps on my head.
I’m so startled that I release Sabine’s wrists so that I can swat at the little devil, but Sabine uses the opportunity to shove me over. I’ve fought men with ten times her strength, so realistically, her effort does nothing, but I let myself tumble backward. Even I have to admit her trick was clever, and she deserves a prize.
Triumphant, she climbs over my chest to straddle my hips, victoriously pinning my wrists to the dirt over my head as she grins down at me, her chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Congratulations,” I murmur, unable to tear my thoughts away from all the dirty things I could do to her in this position. “I thought you didn’t want to use animals.”
“I knew you wouldn’t hurt it this time.” To hold my wrists down means she has to lean so far over me that her long hair drapes my scarred chest like silken chains. She raises a cocky eyebrow. “You let me win, didn’t you?”
Without thinking, I say hoarsely, “Yeah, well, I would let you do anything to me, beyond what even the most depraved gods could conceive.”
Her expression softens with surprise. Her big round eyes blink down at me, aghast. Our faces are only inches apart, both our lips parted. I know I said the wrong thing, but fuck it. It’s true. To feel her sweet body on mine, I’d happily let her stab me. She could knee me in the groin until the sun rises. I’d take any and all of the pain she wants to dole out just to have her touch.
A soft whimper escapes her sweet lips.
And I’m lost.
I’m so fucking lost.
She has all the signs of arousal. She wants me, but not nearly as much as I want her. I knead my hands around her thighs as they hug my hips, groaning as my fingertips sink into her luscious curves.
Her hips twitch in an instinctive little buck that makes her breath hitch in her throat. Her breathy pants fill my mouth, and then with one tilt of my chin, my last resolve breaks, and my lips are all over hers.
My mind would remind me that kissing Sabine is wrong, but right now, my brain isn’t the organ calling the shots. Knowing exactly what to do, my body takes over. My hands finally claim the touch they’ve been craving as I anchor one hand to her hip to pin her squarely in the straddle. I push up on my other hand to sit upright, with her now in my lap. Not breaking the kiss, I scrape my fingers through the hair at her nape to guide her head into a deeper kiss.
Our lips are searching, greedy, as they war together.
It’s like some spell has broken. Like waiting for rain after months of drought, feeling the drenching liquid flood my skin in relief that excites as much as it soothes.
Finally, I have the taste of violets on my tongue again. But kissing Sabine isn’t like eating candied flower buds. It’s devouring the whole cake. The whole fucking meal.
Kissing Sabine is everything.
I’ve wanted her ever since she fed that hungry mouse, when I so jealously yearned for her to offer me a morsel of the same kindness. Since I first saw her standing in her father’s courtyard in that skimpy silk robe with her scent splashing around, tormenting me.
Her legs wrap around my waist, and she matches the movement by sliding her hands around my neck. With one hand on the small of her back, I press her closer, wanting to feel every inch of her body against my own. My mouth is hot on hers as I kiss and suck and taste. I trail my lips down her jaw, and she lets out a moan that sends blood rushing straight to my groin.
Fuck.
I break the kiss to give myself a chance to breathe. I’m so flooded with desire that I can barely form thoughts. Our eyes lock, and it takes my breath away how beautiful she is. Freshly kissed, ready for more.
And that’s when my brain decides to turn back on.
More? I think. Hell, I’ve already gone too far.
The realization of what I’ve done douses me like a barrel of ice water over my head. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is Lord Rian’s intended, and I’ve got my mouth all over her. A gut punch of guilt hits me hard enough to stun. What’s wrong with me? I’m sick. I’m broken. I huff out a curse, and Sabine’s eyes go wide.
Her pink lips are swollen. Her sweet face mirrors my own shock at what we’ve done.
I lift her by her hips out of my lap, dropping her ass on the ground. Then I shove myself to my feet, dragging a hand down the sweat soaking my face.
“Lady Sabine.” My voice comes between heaving breaths. “Forgive me.” I pace, unsure of what to do with my hands. “That will never happen again, I swear it.”
She touches a stunned hand to her lips like she can still feel the ghost of my mouth. The worst of everything is that I can still smell her desire, and I know that if I kissed her again, I don’t think she’d fight it.
“Basten—”
I can’t hear any more. I can’t be around her scent. I’m not strong enough to listen to her thumping heart and soft little moans. I stalk off far enough into the woods so that I have some space from her, but am still within range to listen for danger. Adrenaline pumps unchecked throughout my body. Guilt marks me like blood that I’ll never be able to wash off. Rian will instantly take one look at me and see my sin.
“Fuck.” I slam my fist into the side of a tree, growling like an animal. But no amount of pain can fix the broken parts inside of me.
Chapter 13
Sabine
In the morning, neither Basten nor I say a word about the kiss. We go about our morning chores of boiling water for tea and cleaning up camp, as though he didn’t have his mouth all over mine, and I didn’t have my thighs straddling his.
Everything with him, since we woke, has been “yes, my lady” and “as you wish, my lady,” as though an overabundance of propriety can make up for breaking his master’s trust. Anyone could see he’s drowning in guilt, but I couldn’t care less about betraying my future husband. I’ve sworn no vows yet. The engagement wasn’t even my choice. Everything about this ride is forced by Lord Rian, and so he’s earned no loyalty from me.
Still, it was foolish. Basten is no friend of mine. He would throw me to the wolves if his master ordered him to. He doesn’t even want to be here, tending to a spoiled lord’s daughter instead of stalking prey through the woods. I trust that he will keep me safe, but not because of any loyalty to me—only because I belong to his master.
I don’t know what came over me last night. Locked up in the convent, I’ve been starved for human touch. So many nights I laid awake, wondering what a man’s body felt like. I would sneak to the chapel to flip through the Book of the Immortals to look at the most wicked illustration, belonging to Immortal Alyssantha, the Goddess of Sex. Those portraits showed Alyssantha and her lovers in all kinds of compromising positions that stirred a heat between my legs.
So wasn’t it inevitable that I’d buckle under the first man’s touch?
Basten stews in his guilt, and I wallow in my anger. Here I’ve been fantasizing about my first kiss for years, and it had to be with a brute who dumped my ass in the dirt after pawing me.