“Well, if it helps you feel better, I think Zanders already took care of that.”
Ryan pivots towards me, studying me. “Good.” He takes a deep breath, settling back on the couch. “Is there anything else? You may as well spill it all because I’m cutting ties with that piece of shit.”
Biting my lip, I hesitate laying it all out there, but complete and utter honesty feels real good. Zanders has had the right idea all along.
“There was a game towards the end of your senior year. I was waiting for you outside the back entrance for the locker room, but I didn’t know you were out on the court getting interviewed. It was the day Brett got an invitation to training camp.”
Ryan nods, seeming to remember precisely the game I’m referring to.
“That was the last day I talked to him because that was the day it all clicked. He told the boys, and I quote, ‘Do you know the quality of women that are about to throw themselves at me? You think I’m going to stay with Shay’s sister when I have better options?’”
“He said that?” Ryan’s lips purse in a scowl.
“Word for word. Trust me, it’s been ingrained in my brain ever since.”
“And you didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to go away for murder, is that it?”
A laugh heaves in my chest. “Partly.”
“Vee…”
“I don’t know, Ryan. Things have been different since you got drafted. It’s not your fault, but I never compared our successes when we were younger. Then in college, it became a bit more obvious that I was there because you had a full ride. And when you went pro, it’s like we were on two completely different tracks in life. You’ve accomplished these insanely amazing goals, and I’m just…a flight attendant. You have so much on your plate, and you’re ridiculously impressive, and I didn’t want to be the annoying sister that needed more help because her boyfriend sucked.”
Ryan’s head drops down between his shoulders before he looks back up, his blue-green eyes a bit glossy. “You think that?”
I shyly pop my shoulders.
“Vee, you’re my best friend and my favorite person on this entire planet. I’ve never once compared us, not once. I’m so impressed by you every single day. For doing the things you love, for not staying in Tennessee and settling for the first guy you met like so many of the people we grew up with did.” He pauses. “For not doing the things Mom expected you to do.”
My eyes dart to his and I have to bite my lip to keep it from trembling.
“I’ve never wanted you to feel like you’re in my shadow, Stevie, because that’s just not fucking true. I wanted you at UNC with me because you’re my best friend. I wanted you in Chicago because you’re my best friend. I make enough money to have you here, but that’s not me feeling burdened or shit like that. That’s me being selfish, wanting my sister in my city and having the means to do so.”
He nudges me with his foot again. “Don’t keep things from me anymore. I’m going to have your back no matter what.”
A grateful smile slides across my lips. “Love you, Ry.”
“Love you.” He begins to unwrap the ice on his shoulder. “Anything else you wanna throw out there? I’m all ears.”
“Yes,” I surprise myself by admitting.
“Mom stuff?”
My chest rises with a deep inhale. “Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“You don’t have to agree with me, and I don’t expect you to pick sides or anything like that, but I just want to let you know that I’m creating some boundaries, and currently, I have no desire to speak to her. Not until she can do it without her underhanded comments.”
“It’s really that serious?” he gently asks. “I know you always say things about Mom being a mean girl, but I thought it was just a weird mom and daughter dynamic.”
“Honestly, Ryan. She does it when you don’t hear, and she rarely does it around Dad anymore, but she’s made me feel like absolute shit since college. She comments on my body and volunteering and my lack of a relationship all the time, and I can’t do it anymore. Our relationship has done a massive number on the way I think about myself, and I have to start standing up for myself.”
A soft, understanding grin slides across his lips. “Lack of relationship? You haven’t told her about Zanders, huh?”
“Hell no. Anything important to me now, I keep away from her.”