I release an exhausted breath. “Zanders—”
His eyes widen from hearing me say that name as I watch his throat bob in a deep swallow before I correct myself.
“Zee, I’m just trying to do my job. Please just let me get through the day.”
The seats around him begin to fill with the rest of the team, and I don’t want to cause a scene. I want to get through this flight, staying under the radar and allowing everyone to forget I exist the second I’m off this plane.
“Please,” he continues. “I just need—”
“Zanders.” This time it’s Indy cutting in for me. “It’s not about what you need. She doesn’t want to talk. Let her do her job.”
Zanders’ face drops with guilt, the pain evident in his features. But I don’t want him to hurt. I’m not mad at him. I just want to move on.
“We’ll talk next flight,” I offer. “I need some more time.”
A tiny spark of hope overtakes him as he quickly nods, unknowing there won’t be a next flight. Not for me anyway. But as much as he hurt me, I can’t handle seeing him upset. Selfishly, this lie will get me through this final trip.
“Next flight?” he begs for reassurance.
We hold eye contact, and I try to remember it all. His hazel eyes that shift green in the sunlight. His lips that have touched every inch of my body. His gold chain around his neck that I’ve grabbed to steady myself a time a two. His heart that stole mine. His honesty that shocked the hell out of me before I really knew him. His thoughtfulness that not many people know exists.
I try to remember him.
Even though it hurts to the point I’m not sure how my body is still functioning, I’m grateful for the life he gave me. The confidence he instilled in me. The love he showed me I could experience. It’s hard to be mad at someone when the best part of your life was thanks to them.
A solo curl falls in front of my eyes, and Zanders’ hand darts up to move it out of the way, just as he’s done countless times before. But he stops inches short, his arm retreating when he remembers that he can’t.
I want him to touch me, but I’m afraid it’ll hurt too much to remember the way he feels.
His chest moves in a deep inhale as he composes himself and offers me an apologetic smile before turning back to his seat with his head dropped low between his shoulders.
“I can’t do this,” Indy admits. “I cannot do this. This isn’t right. You guys are supposed to be together.” She falls back to the wall behind her in agony. “It’s clear as fucking day. I’m more upset over this than my own breakup.”
“It’s okay.” I squeeze her arm, shooting her a reassuring grin. “It’ll all be okay.”
Indy doesn’t know that I’m moving to Seattle to take a new job or that this flight is my last, but I’m trying to enjoy my last few hours with her as my coworker, so I’ll keep it to myself for now.
“I’m going to go do the headcount or something productive, so I don’t wither away in my sadness back here.” Indy steps out of the galley and into the crowded aisles. “If my knee accidentally finds Zanders’ balls as I walk by, is that okay?”
Well, I never thought I’d have to say this to her, but, “Stay away from his balls, please.”
“Fine. But everyone else’s balls are up for grabs.” She pops a shoulder. “And yes, I meant that exactly how it sounded.”
Rio’s head turns back with that, eyes wide with interest. “I’m up for gr—”
“No.” Indy quickly charges past him.
Keeping myself occupied with anything I can find in the back galley, I hide away, counting down the minutes until I can get off this airplane. Once the wheels are off the ground, it’s two hundred and thirty-seven, to be exact.
“Stevie.” Maddison’s tall frame overtakes the small entryway to the back galley. He quickly glances behind him to make sure no one else is listening before refocusing his attention on me. “Don’t give up on him.”
I sigh a defeated breath. “Maddison—”
“Please. I know I shouldn’t get involved, but he’s so messed up over this. I’ve never seen him in worse shape.”
“He broke up with me!” I burst before regaining my composure and volume. “He did this, and I need to start moving on.”
Maddison’s apologetic gaze holds mine. “You know who he is, and I know who he is, but sometimes he forgets. He’s battling with some demons right now, but please. Don’t give up on him. Not yet.”