The reason for my week-long shitty attitude is strictly because I haven’t seen or heard from a particular curly-haired flight attendant since the gala. I wouldn’t say Stevie is avoiding me since we haven’t had any road games, and she doesn’t have my number, but still, if she changed her mind about letting me take her on a date, she knows how to get ahold of me.
And clearly, she hasn’t changed her mind.
It sucks having feelings. It’s terrible when they’re not reciprocated. I’ve never had that issue. I’ve never liked someone, and whatever my intentions were with a woman, they were always returned.
I sound ridiculous. Twenty-eight years old and making a big deal about liking someone. But it is a big deal to me. I’ve never felt more than just a physical attraction to someone before. But with Stevie, I’m attracted to her body, mind, mouth, and heart.
And she’s out of reach because of my fucked-up reputation.
“Eleven, you’re up,” the penalty box usher reminds me. As the last fifteen seconds of my two-minute sentence winds down, I stand from the bench.
As soon as that plexiglass door opens, allowing me onto the ice, I beeline it straight for Tampa’s star forward, delivering a dirty blow and throwing him into the boards while the puck is nowhere near his stick.
And when Maddison shakes his head at me in disappointment as I’m thrown out of the game and escorted into the locker room, I yell over my shoulder, “Doing you boys a favor!”
A quick rinse does the trick before I suit back up, grabbing my keys and wallet from my locker. The third period still has ten more minutes of gameplay, but I need to get out of here. The team can fine me for missing our post-game meeting and press conference. I don’t care.
“Zee,” Logan’s gentle voice stops me in my tracks as I open the back exit of the locker room. She stands opposite the hall. “Are you okay?”
Gaze dropping, I nod. A very unconvincing nod, I’ll admit.
“No, you’re not,” she sighs. Opening her arms, she takes a step forward and covers me in a hug. Well, as much as she can. She’s tall for a woman, but I’m huge. Regardless of my size, I sink into the embrace of one of my best friends. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” I say into her hug. “I’m just pissed off right now, I guess.”
“At Stevie?”
“No.” Shaking my head, we pull away. “At myself. It’s my fault I’m in this fucked-up situation where she can’t figure out which side of me is real.”
Logan gives me an apologetic half-smile. “I think deep down she knows, but Zee, you’ve got to understand besides my family, everyone in the world thinks you’re this certain guy. And yeah, you made that decision years ago to further your career, but that’s not you. So, stop playing into it. That shit you pulled on the ice”—she motions towards the rink—“that’s not the real Zee. That’s the bad-guy EZ that doesn’t exist, so stop playing into it. Maybe that will clear things up for Stevie.”
“Lo, she knows more about me than I ever planned on allowing someone else to know. And she still thinks I’m some piece of shit. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
“No, she doesn’t.” Logan shakes her head. “Look, I didn’t talk to her much last week at the gala, and I don’t know her, but I think she’s confused about why you put out this media persona to the world. Give her a little grace. Eli was the most selfish person when we met, and if he kept acting that way towards everyone else in public but was sweet just to me behind closed doors, I think maybe I’d be confused too. His real change happened when he started to love everyone around him, not only himself and not just me.”
Oh God, she’s right. She’s always right.
“I’m not ready to be honest with everyone yet.”
“Okay, but you can be honest with her. You need to tell her everything. Tell her about your family and tell her why you choose to let the world view you the way you do. If you really like her, Zee, I think you need to tell her everything.”
Looking down, I keep my stare locked on the floor. “I do really like her.”
Logan doesn’t respond, and when my gaze darts back to hers, I find wide eyes and lifted brows.
“What?” I ask with caution.
Her green eyes sparkle with a knowing glint. “I never thought I’d hear you say those words,” she giggles. “But they sound good coming from you.”