Dan swallowed. “It’s 8:27.”
For a moment, Harper stopped. All the vibrating energy came to a crashing halt as she froze on the spot. Her back was to him and he’d have given anything to see her face—to understand what was happening in her mind. The stillness scared him. She slowly turned to look at him, a sickly sheen of sweat glistening across her forehead and upper lip, the deep blue circles under her eyes making her look almost haunted, pain cracking her features.
Something in her broke, her body trembling as she fisted her hands, biting into the knuckles.
“Fuck!” The word tore from her throat as she turned and ran from the apartment, leaving Dan staring uselessly after her.
CHAPTER 31
HARPER
Anxiety shackled its hands around Harper’s ankles, forcing her to pull its dead weight as she sprinted toward Callowhill. It felt like the harder she pumped her legs, the slower she went. Her scrub pants were on backward, her shoelaces whipping at her calves as she moved. She’d even left home without a coat, but her body felt on fire despite the cold. She was sure she looked like she was fleeing an asylum, but none of it mattered. She was late for her exam.
Harper burst into the lecture hall, not caring about the turned heads and whispers as she barreled toward Dr. Ren at the front of the room. Dr. Ren’s eyes went wide with recognition as Harper stopped in front of her, panting and sweaty.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Harper brought shaking hands to her hair, trying to smooth it down. “Please let me take the exam. I’m so sorry.”
Dr. Ren looked around the classroom, Harper’s classmates watching the train wreck unfold with rapt attention.
“Back to work,” she snapped. Her tone gentled as she turned back to Harper.
“Harper, there’s protocol. I’m sorry, I can’t let you take the exam right now.”
A sob escaped Harper’s lips, and she clutched a hand to her chest as anxiety tried to claw it open.
“Please. I’ll do anything. Please just let me take the exam.”
“Harper, honey, you aren’t listening,” Dr. Ren whispered, eyes softening. She looked around the room one more time before pulling Harper into the hall.
Harper shook as she scrubbed at the hot tears streaming down her face. She saw everything she’d worked for dissolving in this single moment. A rational part of her brain whispered that one mistake wouldn’t be the end of her, but the louder, angrier part repeated over and over what a fuckup she was.
Harper felt the anxiety permeating her body like a toxic gas, embedding itself into all her cells until they were a shriveled mess of raw pain and adrenaline. Her breathing was shallow and she gulped at air.
Dr. Ren placed her hands on Harper’s shoulders and bent down to meet her eyes.
“Listen to me, Harper. You need to get a grip. I’m worried about you and I need you to breathe.” Harper attempted a shaky breath. Dr. Ren didn’t look pleased with the result. “I promise you we’ll work something out. I promise.” She gave Harper a mild shake. “Believe it or not, this happens frequently.”
Words were locked in Harper’s throat, and she stared at her mentor, a rapid fire of emotions battling inside her chest.
“I’m going to send you home while they finish the exam. We’ll meet next week to organize an alternative assignment.”
Dr. Ren’s sharp eyes pierced into Harper. Guilt hummed through her body. She’d failed the woman she admired most.
“This is me telling you that this incident will not cause you to fail. I need you to indicate that you understand that before I let you leave.”
Harper nodded numbly. Her brain let out a tiny sigh of relief at the words, but the sick part of her mind yelled at her that it couldn’t be trusted. Something would go wrong. The worst-case scenario was the one bound to happen.
“Email me, and we’ll schedule something. But you need to get yourself under control. Mistakes happen, Harper, it will be okay.”
Harper’s head was swimming, the words coming to her like murky echoes. Mistakes like this didn’t happen to her. Mistakes led to accidents and failure.
Self-reliant, successful, safe—that’s what she needed to be. Not this unfocused, disappointing mess.
No more distractions.
“Please go home and calm yourself. I’m excusing you from the clinic this afternoon.”
An unintelligible protest burst from Harper’s lips, but Dr. Ren held up her hand.
“That isn’t a punishment. You need to take care of yourself before you care for patients.”