To make matters worse, the tension between him and Lauren had his stomach in knots. He wanted to make things right with her, but he had no idea where to begin.
Profound sadness wound its way through his stomach, wrapping around his heart like a snake.
The house was situated in the country, out on the edge of Pleasant Valley, and his mom sure knew how to make a holiday special. She didn’t just decorate a tree or a single room—every single nook and cranny of the house had been transformed. His room would undoubtedly have white lights strung up around the ceiling, and each room had its own tree. His was decorated with baseball ornaments and those popsicle stick ones he’d made at a camp one summer.
He loved being here, especially during the holidays.
His mind wandered back over the road trip and all the little ways Lauren had managed to capture his attention without even trying. He hadn’t told her, but after he found out about her promotion, he sent the email she’d helped him craft to his boss—he was putting himself out there. He might not deserve it, but she inspired him to want more.
And he wanted more from Lauren, too, despite everything. But he wasn’t confident she felt the same.
He turned toward the sound of a door opening, then closing, and saw Lauren, wrapped up in her winter coat and wearing an old pink stocking cap he was pretty sure his mother had forced her to put on. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and made her way to where he sat.
Neither of them said anything, both staring over the yard, where, in the distance, he could see the moonlight reflecting on the river.
“I’m really sorry about your grandpa,” she finally said.
He hated that he couldn’t respond—his voice wouldn’t have held up.
“You didn’t say anything about his health or why you were really taking this trip.”
He blew out a breath. “It’s hard to talk about.”
She stilled. “Are you okay?”
No. I’m not.
For a million reasons, he wasn’t okay.
“That cake, I—” She sat next to him.
“Maybe I should’ve canceled it.” While he’d really wanted to be the one to make that wish come true for her, the gesture felt misguided in light of what he’d discovered about their history.
“Why?” She faced him. “I meant what I said—it was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. You took a twelve-year-old girl’s dream and made it come true.” She paused. “Thank you.”
He kept his gaze fixed on the yard, the trees, anything but her. “It hardly makes up for—”
“Things are strange between us now,” she cut in, then paused. “I don’t like it.”
He glanced at her. “I don’t like it either.”
“I’m sorry I ever told you what happened at that party.” She sighed, and rethought that. “Actually, that’s not true. I’m glad I told you because I needed to get it out there, but I’m sorry it put this wedge between us.”
“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing,” he said. “It’s good for me to remember sometimes how my actions affected other people. I was so selfish. So stupid. I hurt everyone who loved me.”
“But you’re not that guy anymore.”
He scoffed.
“I really believe that, Will, and your family believes it too.” He caught the edge of her smile in the blue light of the moon. “They’re all so proud of you—and they should be. You didn’t let your mistakes ruin your life.”
“They wouldn’t have let me,” he said.
“You’re so lucky to have them. You don’t even know.” She went still at that. “Or. . .maybe you do. You were over enough at my house to see how messed up things were there.”
He didn’t answer—but yeah, he knew.
“If I had a family like yours, I’d love coming home for Christmas, too.”
He smiled. “They’re pretty great.” They both glanced toward the house, and Lauren half-expected to find the three women still standing in the kitchen, watching them.
Instead, they saw an empty room, a single light over the kitchen sink.
He turned back to her. “And they love you.”
She looked up at him. “Really?”
“Since we got home, every single person in that house has found a way to tell me how great you are. And three of them made sure to add, ‘If you screw this up, you’re an idiot.’”
She giggled, and then, her smile faded. “You know, Will, I’ve kept my heart all locked up for most of my adult life.”