calm. “You never told me—”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you to be there for me when my friend is dying.
Instead, you act like it’s as…normal as breathing.”
“Because death has forever been my existence!”
“That’s your problem!” she said, letting her hands fall to her sides, flinching as she did. Her arms ran red with blood and it dripped to the floor.
Hades’s stomach twisted and his throat felt tight. He wanted to fix this.
“You’ve been the God of the Underworld so long, you’ve forgotten what it is really like to be on the brink of losing someone. Instead, you spend all your time judging mortals for their fear of your realm, for their fear of death, for their fear of losing who they love!”
“So you were angry with me,” he said, and the more he continued, the more incensed he felt. “And once again, instead of coming to me, you decided to punish me by seeking Apollo’s help.”
Why was it always Apollo?
“I wasn’t trying to punish you. When I decided to go to Apollo, I no longer felt like you were an option.”
There was a pain to those words that lanced through his chest. Did she know how badly that hurt him?
“After everything I did to protect you from him—”
“I didn’t ask that of you,” she snapped.
“No, I suppose you didn’t,” he replied bitterly. “You have never welcomed my aid, especially when it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.”
“That’s not fair.” Her voice shook.
“Isn’t it? I have offered an aegis, and you insisted you do not need a guard, yet you are regularly accosted on your way to work. You barely accept rides from Antoni, and you only do now because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Then, when I offer comfort, when I try to understand your hurt over Lexa’s pain, it isn’t enough.”
“Your comfort?” she shouted. “What comfort? When I came to you, begging you to save Lexa, you offered to let me grieve. What was I supposed to do? Stand back and watch her die when I knew I could prevent it?”
“Yes!” he shouted, throwing up his hands. “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do. You are not above the law of my realm, Persephone!” Not even he was above the law of the dead, and he wore that reminder on his skin. “I don’t see why her death matters. You come to the Underworld every day. You would have seen Lexa again!”
“Because it’s not the same!”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he demanded.
She crossed her arms over her chest once more. Each time, she flinched, and he thought that maybe her anger made her momentarily forget her pain.
But as she stood there facing him, she seemed to fold in on herself, as if she were afraid to say whatever she was truly thinking.
“What happens if you and I…if the Fates decide to unravel our future? I don’t want to be so lost in you, so anchored in the Underworld, that I don’t know how to exist after.”
A thickness gathered in his throat. Losing Lexa to the Underworld was too great of a risk in the event that they did not make it, and the worst part was that everything he had been doing up to this point—the absurd labors, seeking out the Graeae, the truce with Dionysus—was for her. To ensure they had a future.
Was she so uncertain?
“I’m beginning to think that maybe you don’t want to be in this relationship,” Hades said.
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?”
She looked confused and afraid as she answered. “I don’t know. Just that…right when I was really starting to figure out who I was, you came
along and fucked it all up. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I don’t know—”
“What you want,” he finished.
“That’s not true. I want you. I love—”
“Don’t say you love me,” he said, looking away. “I can’t…hear that right now.”
The words would hurt. They did hurt. If she loved him, why was she planning for a future without him?
After a stretch of silence, Persephone spoke in a sad whisper. “I thought you loved me.”
“I do,” he said, frowning, and he considered that perhaps he put too much faith in the threads that wove them together. “But I think I may have misunderstood.”
“Misunderstood what?”
“The Fates,” he answered, eyes lifting to hers. How was it possible that she looked more stricken now than before? “I have waited for you for so long, I ignored the fact that they rarely weave happy endings.”