“If he didn’t do it now, I was planning on doing it when you weren’t looking,” Vemar called, zero remorse.
“Come on.” Hadriel patted me again. “We need to get going, or we’ll all end up like him.”
Yes, we need to get going, my dragon said. We have to get out of here. He isn’t worth us all dying for.
She was right. They were all right. And in my heart of hearts, I had to own that the guilt wasn’t entirely because I’d failed to get him out. It was because a part of me felt relieved. After everything he’d put me through, a part of me hadn’t wanted to save him at all. A part of me had wanted to leave him behind. I felt guilty for being relieved that someone else had solved the problem of Jedrek.
I felt guilty for not being a better person.
Eventually I’d conquer my remorse about all this. I’d make peace with it. But right now, I needed to look after the living.
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. I pointed at those who couldn’t change. “Who wants to go first? I’ll tie you up with the dragons’ clothes so that it’ll be a little easier to take you across.”
“I’ll shift, milady.” Leala handed off her whip to Hadriel, and I was too frazzled to ask what the fuck? before she reduced down into a sort of…monkey thing. Or a lemur. She had large brown eyes that looked too big for her face, ringed in black, with a small snout. Her body was brown with white areas, and her small, furry feet ended in little black claws.
“What is she?” I asked as she started slowly for the bridge.
“A slow loris,” Hadriel replied, stepping up to me with the whip outstretched. I took it, and he turned around so I could use it to secure his wrists. “Don’t let her dainty size fool you. They are one of the most venomous mammals. Their poison can suffocate. Not human-sized creatures so much, but still, a nip would give you a bad day.”
She worked her way out onto the bridge and then stopped moving.
“The bitch is, when they sense danger, they often freeze…” His voice trailed off.
Hannon didn’t hesitate. Smiling, he stepped onto the bridge and scooped up a frozen Leala. She scampered up his shoulder and clung to his neck.
I secured Hadriel as Vemar shifted into a gorgeous, glittering blue dragon and leapt off like he had no fear of death. Then again, he probably didn’t.
I threw Hadriel over my shoulder and marshaled my determination. Vemar landed as Hannon returned to the business end of the bridge and grabbed a pretty little faerie, holding her to his chest. I gave him a head start over the bridge, the faerie thrashing in his arms but not nearly powerful enough to cause him a problem. Leala re-froze on his shoulder.
“Here we go, Hadriel. I hope this isn’t the end of our friendship.” I started out.
“Ah, you admitted we’re friends. That’s so great! Except I am a butler, my love, and I am not friends with princesses locked in towers who—”
The magic of the bridge washed over me like a sack of stone. It clawed at my middle and tried to drag my ribs out of my body. My vision blackened then spun. Hadriel jerked and started screaming—or maybe that was me—and struggled to get off my shoulder. He punched my back, scrabbling to get closer to the ropes and likely throw himself over.
I staggered that way. Or maybe I meant to take that step. I wanted to throw myself off with him. To chuck him over and jump in after him.
This is a real gut-bender, folks, I thought desperately, tears streaming down my face. Will she give in to her baser desires and jump?
I struggled him closer to the end of the bridge, only to realize I was listing toward the ropes at the side.
Get a grip, my dragon screamed inside my head. Fight your way back. Use Nyfain. He is our lifeline. Use him to keep you grounded.
I did. With everything I had, I reached out for him through the bond, desperate. Terrified. Ready to end it all.
Like when I’d been brought to Dolion and his people tried to claw the bond from me, I felt Nyfain reach out. I felt him reel me in possessively, holding me tightly to him. The mark he’d given me burned and then tingled, like he was refreshing it, claiming me body and soul.
Mine, the sentiment seemed to say. You belong to me. No one and nothing else can have you. Nothing will take you from me.
The feeling from before, like his dragon’s wings spreading over me protectively, eased some of the crippling anxiety and broke through the chaos of my mind.
When I blinked into semiconsciousness, Hadriel was dangling from one of my hands, his feet above the lava, and I was looming over him, one leg bent as if I were about to climb over.