‘For goodness’ sake, put your hand down,’ Kitty hissed at Aunt Dorothy. ‘You’re embarrassing me.’
‘You were embarrassing yourself,’ her aunt hissed back, seizing her arm and leading her away from the dance floor. ‘One cannot simply walk up to persons such as Mrs Burrell, even I could have told you that. She is the highest stickler imaginable and everyone is quite terrified of her, even Lady Radcliffe finds her daunting. You were about to receive the most humiliating of set downs.’
‘But we have met before,’ Kitty complained. ‘How else am I meant to secure Almack’s vouchers if I cannot speak to these ladies?’
‘Rid the notion from your mind, I beg of you,’ Aunt Dorothy said sharply. ‘It is never going to happen, and you cannot bring it about by these methods.’
‘And you said this wouldn’t happen, either, and look where we are!’ Kitty couldn’t help saying hotly, gesturing to the ballroom around them. ‘When will you start believing in me, Aunt?’
Aunt Dorothy appeared to keep her cool with considerable effort.
‘It is not a matter of belief,’ she said with forced patience. ‘There is a reason Almack’s is considered exclusive, even amongst polite society, and there is no point wasting energy chasing the impossible. You already have several wealthy gentlemen dangling after you – is that not enough?’
Kitty swallowed another hot-headed retort. How to explain, without sounding as if she had lost her head? Being in this room was of itself such an achievement, Aunt Dorothy was right about that, but it was not the fait accompli that Kitty had imagined. There were places she was still not allowed to enter, places that persons like Miss Fleming were invited to while she was not. The advantage Almack’s gave them … It was not something she could easily overcome; and as Mr Stanfield was growing ever more conspicuous in his attentions to Miss Fleming, Kitty knew she might never stand a chance at his level without it.
‘Why do you want it so much?’ Aunt Dorothy asked imploringly, when Kitty did not answer.
‘I–I just,’ Kitty faltered. ‘It could have been mine. If things – if things had gone differently for Mama and Papa, I would have had all this without thinking about it for a second. I am not so different to these other ladies, Aunt. They are not better than me. It feels so close – I cannot help but want to reach for it.’
She searched Aunt Dorothy’s face for some understanding, and did see her eyes soften, a little.
‘I understand why it might feel unfair,’ Aunt Dorothy said quietly. ‘But you cannot try to right all the wrongs of the past – remember why we are here. We cannot be distracted from that. You are reaching for the unattainable, you must believe me this time. Can I trust you will let it rest, now?’
Kitty looked down at her feet, chastised. Aunt Dorothy was right and she knew it – they had only six weeks, now. She must keep on track – keep thinking with her head and not her heart. ‘Yes, all right,’ she agreed. ‘I’ll let it rest.’
‘Good.’ Aunt Dorothy nodded briskly. ‘Now, I must find that charming gentleman I was speaking to the other night – I think he will very much like my new gown.’
Aunt Dorothy bustled off in pursuit of compliments. Kitty looked over at Cecily, still feeling at odds and wanting badly to discuss the unfairness of it all with someone.
‘My necklace is feeling a little loose,’ Cecily told her, holding a hand up to the jewels at her collarbone – paste, of course. Kitty motioned for her to turn around so she could examine it.
‘Ah,’ she said, seeing the problem immediately. ‘You did not tie it correctly. Stand still for a moment.’
She frowned over the delicate work, glad for the distraction.
‘Your poets ought to write more about this sort of thing,’ she told Cecily absently, fiddling with the necklace’s lever, being careful not to pinch the delicate skin of Cecily’s neck as she did so. ‘Social rules and politics and the like – it could fill books, I’m sure.’
‘Er – they do, actually,’ Cecily told her. ‘Quite a few of them, in fact.’
‘Oh.’ Kitty felt, for the third time that evening, rather foolish. She took a deep breath before rejoining the fray. They hadn’t long left, and Aunt Dorothy was right – Kitty must keep on track. Now was not the time to lose her head to sentiment.
20
It was April 20th. Kitty had six weeks left to secure a fortune. At least, however, she had the comfort of a number of suitors to choose from. Of these, Mr Pemberton was certainly the most persistent. With a fortune as large as his moustache, he was the richest, too.