Nyktos cursed, shoving a hand over his head as he stalked to the credenza.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as Nyktos reached the cupboard.
Rhahar didn’t look in my direction as he nodded, not elaborating. Pressure clamped down on my chest, even though his reaction didn’t come as a surprise. My betrayal of Nyktos was a betrayal to all of them.
Breathing through the tightness in my chest, I turned to Nyktos as he grabbed the back collar of his shirt, then pulled it up and over his head. My eyes nearly fell out of my face as the lean muscles running down the length of his spine appeared, along with the swirling drops of blood inked into his skin—drops that represented all the lost lives Nyktos believed he was responsible for.
Proof that he cared deeply for more than one.
Muscles bunched along his broad shoulders and biceps as he tossed the shirt aside and pulled out a gray tunic from a lower cabinet in the credenza. His body was a masterpiece, proof of years spent fighting with heavy swords instead of using the eather inside him.
I knew I shouldn’t stare as he tugged the tunic on. It didn’t feel like I had a right to do that now, nor did it seem like something I should be doing at the moment. But he was…well, really nice to look at. And I really liked looking at him.
“I clearly remember someone saying that it was inappropriate to stare,” Nyktos’s low voice interrupted. “Especially when it’s clearly intentional.”
My gaze flew to his as warmth blossomed in my chest. The wisps of eather were churning again. “It wasn’t intentional.”
He smirked. “You lie so prettily.”
I had totally lied. The apples of my cheeks burned as he donned the tunic with an iron-hued brocade around the raised collar and across the chest in a diagonal line. But the warmth cooled rapidly. I was sure there was a coded dig there, except all I could think about was when he’d said that to me before. He’d been teasing then.
Rhahar cleared his throat, reminding me that we weren’t alone.
“Saion, escort Sera to her chambers,” Nyktos said, and the god looked less than pleased with the orders as Nyktos’s cool gray eyes met mine. “We’ll finish this conversation when I return.”
“Looking forward to it,” I muttered.
“I’m sure you are.” Nyktos started for the doors, then stopped. A heartbeat passed. “Try to get some rest.” Then he left, disappearing into the hall with Rhahar.
Saion gestured at the doors. “Let’s go.”
Resisting the urge to plant my ass on the floor for no reason other than the fact that I hated being told what to do, I went to the settee and grabbed my dagger.
“Should I be worried right now?” Saion asked, falling into step beside me as we walked out and down the hall. He eyed the dagger clenched tightly in my hand.
“Not unless you give me a reason to use it against you.”
A smile softened the handsome lines of his face, bringing warmth to his deep black skin. “I have no plans to do such a thing.”
“Really?” I pushed open the door. “You don’t want revenge for what I planned to do to Nyktos?”
“What I want doesn’t matter.” His dark eyes met mine as he caught the door. “What does is the fact that if I thought you were a real threat to Nyktos, I’d snap your neck myself. As would any of us loyal to him.”
My skin chilled as I climbed the dark, dimly lit steps. No part of me doubted what he claimed.
“And, yeah, I know he’d kill me for it. That wouldn’t stop me. That wouldn’t stop any of us.” Saion stayed a step behind me. “But you’re not a real threat to him, are you? He may be attracted to you, but that’s about as deep as that shit can ever go.”
I flinched, grateful that he couldn’t see how much the truth stung. Because even if Nyktos could love, he would never love me. Breathe in. I rounded the landing of the third floor. Hold. I shut off the flood of guilt, regret, and, more importantly, the bitter want—the almost keen desperation for that shit to run deeper. I searched for the veil of emptiness, and it took longer than it should have for it to seep into me. But when it did, I welcomed the hollowness. I became nothing, and only then did I exhale as I reached the final landing. “You’re wrong, though.”
“About what?”
I started to open the door. “About me not being a threat to him.”
Saion’s hand slapped down on the door, closing it. “Is that so?”
I inched back, creating some space between us as my hand tightened around the hilt of my dagger. Saion had gone still in the way only gods and Primals did, right before an explosive display of violence. It would’ve been wise of me to show some fear.