“Servants are to return to their residences,” he barks. “Upon order of the chancellor.”
“Acknowledged, Marshal.” Kang quickly clasps his hands into a salute, and his hand returns to my elbow. “Let’s go.”
We hurry together as fast as we can, my steps keeping time with his, until we are through the gardens and past another moon gate. We have returned to the Scholar’s Garden, next to the black spire of the library pagoda.
“Down this way.” He gestures, and we turn the corner onto the Path of Contemplation. With a jolt I recognize the stone lions, the black and white pebbles. The instructions of the princess loom before me: Discover what he has planned.
I suddenly feel like I am wandering through a maze of brambles, every turn a threat.
When he is certain there is no one to overhear us, Kang pulls off his helmet. “When I heard that the news about the emperor had been released, I knew it meant the window for her to make a choice about me was swiftly closing,” he says, too close and too earnest. Ever so casual for a man who is speaking about his possible execution. “But I don’t want to be remembered by you as a man who does not keep his word.”
I’ll see you again. A promise as soft as petals falling.
“What do you think she will decide?” I ask. “To lift the exile or…” I cannot even say it.
He inclines his head. “At least I will die having fought for my people.”
It reminded me of his sincerity when he said he would ask for leniency, not for himself, but for everyone back home. Silver Needle has already told me the truth. If what I can find from him can ease the princess’s suspicions, perhaps his life will be spared.
“Do you know a way out of the palace?” I ask.
There is a flurry of footsteps on the other side of the wall, and he pulls me into another alcove, this one housing a small bamboo grove and a wooden carving of flowers.
“Why do you ask?”
To spend more time with you. To find out more of your secrets. To save you … or expose you.
I know I need to choose the rest of my words carefully. “Our paths run parallel, in a way. Soon you will face the judgment of the princess, and my future will be decided in the next round of the competition.” My finger runs over the smoothness of the bamboo, marveling at how nature still grows here, stifled in this small plot of dirt and limited circle of sky. “But you mentioned our day in Jia, and I’m reminded how happy I was that day as well. Freer than I’ve ever felt before. I wonder if we can return to that, even for an hour.”
At first, I am hesitantly grasping at those fragile connections, but as I continue to speak, the words begin to grow stronger. I can taste the sweetness of pear candy on my tongue, igniting other memories—the warmth of the Golden Key as we touched, how we sank into one another, a closeness that I both feared and craved. Maybe I drew on the magic, pulling him to me, but the magic draws on me in turn, binding me closer to him.
“And if you could go into the city, where would you go?” he asks.
“I heard there are shops selling teacups carved from bone or ivory. Foods from the north that I’ve never seen before. All these things I have yet to experience. But if I fail the competition, I will have to return home and give up all my dreams of becoming a shénnóng-shī. I do not have the coin to complete the training and attend the exams.” And of course, I will lose Shu if I fail this quest. The quaver in my voice is embarrassingly real.
Mother said there is power in words, in hopes we breathe into being. It dangles there before me, a dream once as far out of reach as the stars in the sky, my longing for a different life. A life that Mother had and then lost. She found her contentment later, but I still yearn for it.
“Before … it may have been possible,” he says. “But now my face is known to all the city guards. I cannot travel in this disguise as easily, and I do not think I would be able to walk freely in the market without the helmet.”
“It was a foolish thought.” I shrug, in an attempt to hide how much I care. But I do care, much more than I thought I would.
A small part of me believed perhaps a shénnóng-shī would take interest in me during the competition, take me on as an apprentice based on my potential. But after the way I fumbled during the first round, I doubt anyone would want me now. With the competition now closed to the public, there is no other chance. If I don’t win, I won’t be able to save Shu.
Unless I get the promised help from the princess in return for my spying: the cure-all stone for my sister and enough coin to take care of my family.