“Yes. Linda Lokind, of Tullgatan 10.”
“Have you spoken with her?” Ulrika wondered.
“She’s not exactly a chatterbox. She says she’s already told the police and the prosecutor everything, but no one believes her. I’ve tried to get a copy of that statement, but it seems to be stamped confidential. But I’m sure we’ll sort that out. We’ll have to go through the court instead.”
“How long is that going to take?” I asked.
Blomberg clicked his pen.
“Calm down now,” Ulrika said, patting my arm.
“Calm down? What do you mean, calm down? If this Lokind has a motive, it ought to be in everyone’s best interest to interrogate her! Aren’t the police supposed to work ‘broadly and objectively’？”
“The police have interrogated her,” Blomberg said, tossing his pen on the desk. “For information.”
“Evidently that’s not enough,” I said. “And when can we see Stella? We need to talk to our daughter!”
I was halfway out of my chair.
“Stella is on full restrictions,” Blomberg said. “She’s only allowed to speak to me.”
“She’s only eighteen,” I said.
“Unfortunately, age doesn’t matter,” Blomberg replied.
“She’s a child!”
I didn’t mean to shout. It just happened. I could feel my pulse in my fists and Ulrika took a firm grasp on my wrist.
“Not according to the law,” Blomberg said cautiously.
“I don’t care about the law. I want to see my daughter!”
My ears were ringing. Even the bearlike Blomberg looked a bit frightened as I yanked myself away from Ulrika’s clutches and flew out of my chair.
“Make sure that Stella tells the police everything. No more secrets or nasty surprises. Innocent people don’t lie.”
24
I hadn’t told Stella that I was planning to visit during confirmation camp. Maybe that was stupid of me. Of course I should have mentioned it, but to me it was an obvious thing to do. I was the pastor of one of the organizing congregations, the camp had been launched on my initiative—naturally I wanted to visit the youngsters.
When I arrived at the camp, the confirmands had just finished grilling hotdogs. Several of them had changed into swimwear; some were up to their waists in the water, shivering; others were jumping in from the dock. The two female camp counselors were watching from under a tree, while Robin was splashing around in the lake, his hair wet, a delighted grin on his face.
I lingered up on the grassy slope for a while. It was like standing in front of a piece of art. The happiness and fellowship painted the scene in the loveliest of colors.
The kids didn’t have time for me. Several of Stella’s classmates said hello, but most of them barely noticed my arrival.
I walked down to the counselors under the tree and shook their hands. They told me everything was going fantastically well. The group was wonderful to work with, and there had already been a number of interesting and openhearted conversations.
None of them mentioned Stella, which I took to mean that she, too, was behaving herself. I had already made up my mind not to worry, but now that it became clear to me that nothing had gone wrong, I noticed relief washing through my body.
But things changed when Stella realized I was there.
She came wading out of the lake with her wet hair hanging in thick ropes. Once on the beach, she wrapped a towel around her body.
When she caught sight of me, her eyes went dark.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m just checking in on everyone.”
I attempted a gentle smile.
“Let me be!”
She vanished up the hill with flip-flops slapping.
* * *
Robin convinced me to stay for dinner. There was a separate room where we could sit and Stella wouldn’t have to see me.
The cooks at the camp were truly skilled, and the food was exquisite. After dinner I asked if it would be okay to stick around for a while. I would soon be heading for home, but there were a few things I needed to prepare before services the next day.
“Of course,” Robin said.
After a few hours of obligatory socializing, it was pleasant to be alone with just my computer and my own thoughts. I’m a fairly social person, but at heart I would probably consider myself an introvert. I’ve always held privacy to be holy, even within my own family. The right to one’s own space in life is, to me, as important as the opportunity to open up and speak about everything. I think it’s been a frequent help to Ulrika and me that we’ve always had the chance to retreat and have some alone time. A requirement to constantly share everything can so easily become stifling. It’s often said that people are herd animals, but we mustn’t forget that we have the need for solitude as well.