“Only use it if you have to.” She closes my fingers around the warm metal, not answering my question.
“How does it work?”
“He didn’t say.”
I look at her, incredulous. “You didn’t ask?”
“I was busy doing other things.”
I snort. “That’s helpful.”
Her blue eyes sparkle. “It was for me.”
I shut down my imagination before it paints too vivid a picture. “Do you at least know what it does?”
Selena shakes her head.
“Really? Nothing?” I ask.
She pats my cheek. End of discussion.
Beta Sinta reaches down for me and helps me clamber up the side of his gigantic horse. I take a deep breath as we then turn to leave. I don’t look back. I don’t want to see a huge, blue man with his arm around a weeping rainbow and a woman who shimmers like the sun. I don’t want to see dozens of people I care about or Cerberus’s terrifying, ugly, furry heads because if I do, the already painful ache inside me might turn into something I can’t bear.
Beta Sinta tries to talk to me, but I stay silent, afraid words won’t make it past the thickness in my throat. After thirty minutes of riding in silence, we turn west, skirting the farms outside the city instead of heading north.
“We’re staying in Kaplos?” I ask, confused.
He shakes his head, his midnight hair sliding along his neck and curling slightly around his ears. I find myself looking a little too hard at the back of his tanned neck. The spray of freckles across it is…kind of appealing.
“We’re going to a horse breeder I know.”
Oh? The horses all seem fine to me. “Why?”
“Don’t you want a horse?”
Actually, it never even occurred to me. “Now that you mention it, it would be fabulous to get away from you and… What’s your horse’s name? All this time, and I never thought to ask.”
“Horse.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s original.”
“Brown Horse,” he amends.
It’s hard not to laugh. “Much better, but I can’t afford a horse.”
“I’ll take it out of your wage.”
“Then I can’t afford to eat.”
“Don’t worry about it, Cat.”
“I don’t want you buying me a horse!” My voice comes out sharper than intended, but I don’t want to be dependent, or beholden, or anything really.
“Then ride with me.”
I weigh my options. “I’d rather starve and have a horse.”
He doesn’t argue. Maybe he saw how many spice cakes I consumed over the last few days and thinks cutting back would do me good.
The farm we stop at is only a midsized affair, but I can tell just from the upkeep of the fences that we’ll find high-quality animals here.
“Take your pick,” Beta Sinta says after the breeder gives us a demonstration of five horses he thinks would suit me.
I glance at him, surprised. I thought he’d choose for me. “I don’t know anything about horses. The last time I had a choice, I was too young to care about anything other than pretty or not pretty.”
He slides me a long look. I never volunteer information about my past, so I’m surprised when he doesn’t press for more. He points to a chestnut whose reddish coat gleams in the sun. “He’s the right size and fairly placid.”
“Why do I need placid?”
He hits me with his hard stare. “Because then at least one of you will stay calm.”
“Calm is boring,” I retort.
His white teeth flash, and his gray eyes crinkle at the corners. “Absolutely,” he agrees, looking at me with undisguised heat in his eyes.
My stomach flips over in a way that makes me want to throw up for a variety of reasons, but significantly lessens the urge to argue.
I take a deep breath. “The chestnut, then?”
“Or that gray.” He nods to a horse the color of dirty snow with four black socks and a dark muzzle. “He’s fast.”
“Faster than the chestnut?”
Beta Sinta nods. “But the chestnut can run, too. He’s powerful enough.”
“He. He. What about a girl horse?”
He shakes his head. “You don’t want a mare.”
“Why not?”
He angles his head toward mine, his eyes still smiling. I don’t think my eyes are even capable of smiling. “Females are temperamental,” he says with a roguish grin.
My eyes narrow, and I give him a hearty shove. Playfully, he shoves me back. I land on my ass.