She had thought it wiser and more enticing for both of them to offer him a handfast—a marriage by trial, which would last just over a year. If they came to hate one another again, they could part ways and be no longer bound by oath when the agreement ended. Or they could remain wed and take a blood vow, if they desired it.
“All of this,” he said. “Marrying your ‘old menace,’ choosing to bind yourself to me—someone far beneath you. All of this trouble only to visit and establish trade with our enemies? Why wouldn’t you choose a partner who could be your shield? A member of the guard, perhaps?”
He’s being ridiculously logical, Adaira thought. She wondered how to reply to him. She wanted to tell him that she could see through him—he was holding to logic in order to keep his emotions at bay. But then she saw the glint of doubt in him. She saw the hurt in his eyes. He was hiding a wound. He had never felt claimed; he had never felt as if he belonged here. She vividly remembered him saying those words to her.
“You’re right,” she said. “I could choose a member of the guard to bind myself to. I could choose anyone in the east who is eligible. Yet there’s a problem with such a choice, Jack.”
He was quiet. She could sense the battle raging within him, to remain aloof and uninterested, or to ask her to explain.
“What problem do you speak of, Adaira?” he eventually said.
“None of them are the one that I want,” she breathed.
She hadn’t been this vulnerable with someone in a long time. It was terrifying, and she could feel the heat in her skin, the flush creeping over her. Because Jack was silent.
“I know you have a life on the mainland waiting for you,” she rushed to add. “I know that our handfast would keep you away longer than you wanted. But the clan needs you. You can take up the mantle as Bard of the East, and even if we choose to end our marriage after a year and a day … you would remain bard here, should you desire it.”
Jack was like stone.
Adaira must have miscalculated. He must still detest her and the clan.
When she made to rise, he stretched out his hand, as if to touch her, but then he hesitated, just before his fingers could caress her hair. “Wait, Adaira. Wait.”
She paused, thinking her knee would be completely out of socket by the end of this tumultuous night. But she watched the hint of a smile overcome his face, and she was stunned by the beauty of it. The promise that gleamed within him, a man who rarely smiled.
“I honestly don’t even know what to say, Adaira.”
“You say yes or no, Jack.”
He covered his mouth with his hand, hiding his mirth, and stared at her with his ocean-dark eyes. But he rose, and he took hold of her fingers, bringing her with him, up to her tingling feet.
“Then my answer is yes,” he whispered. “I’ll marry you by handfast.”
Relief rushed through her. She nearly sagged, and then felt how near he stood to her, so close she could feel the warmth of his body.
“Good. Oh, that reminds me, bard,” she said and took a graceful step back, their hands still fastened. “I have a condition.”
“Gods,” Jack groaned. “You couldn’t tell me your condition before you asked me to wed you?”
“No, but you won’t mind.” Her eyes flickered to the bed behind him, and the words nearly caught in her throat like a bone. “Once we’re married, we keep to our separate beds. At least for now.” When she met his gaze again, she couldn’t discern if he was disappointed or relieved. His face was as composed as music, a language she couldn’t read.
“Agreed,” he said and squeezed her hands before releasing them. “And now I have something to say to you.”
Adaira waited, her heart beating far too swiftly for her liking. Jack was staring at her, as if he were about to divulge dire information.
“Well?” she prodded, bracing herself for the worst. “What is it?”
“Quite impatient, aren’t we?”
Adaira frowned, but she saw the amusement shining in his eyes. “You have made me wait quite a bit tonight, old menace.”
“Only for a minute or two,” he replied. “For which you will now have me for an entire year and a day, so I think it was worth the wait.”
“Time will tell, won’t it?” she quipped.
Jack snorted and crossed his arms, but she sensed he was enjoying their banter. “Perhaps I should tell you my news tomorrow then.”
“But tomorrow already has enough trouble planned,” Adaira said, biting her lip to resist begging him.