‘Ta,’ she says, sniffing a few times. She doesn’t look at him as he sits next to her.
‘You OK?’ he says after a few moments.
‘It’s going to be awful.’
‘What is?’ Her life, he thinks, her marriage?
‘The wedding. There’ll be hardly anyone there.’ She’s about to cry again. William’s arm lifts to rest across her shoulders, but he lowers it. ‘Ray said his family are Catholic and would only disapprove, Mum’s too ashamed to invite her family, so it’ll just be my sister’s lot and Dad’s brother and his family – who I can’t stand.’
She looks at him for the first time. ‘Oh, William! This isn’t the sort of wedding I thought I was going to have!’
‘It’s not the sort you deserve,’ he mutters.
‘And you won’t be best man!’ She frowns. ‘It’d make a bad day bearable to have you there, being kind and calm.’ It melts him to hear her say that. ‘Too good for us, are you, now I’m pregnant?’
‘No. No!’ He’s appalled that’s what she thinks. ‘That’s not why.’
‘Why then?’
Is she daring him? How can he? He’s not just sitting next to Gloria, but her and Ray’s unborn child.
‘Of course I’ll be best man,’ he says softly, ‘I’ll be the kindest, calmest best man to set foot in the Stepney registry office.’
She leans her head, heavy, on his shoulder. ‘Thanks, William.’ He doesn’t dare move until she sits back up.
Later in his room, he remembers the nights he spent listening to his mother’s sobbing after his father died. He feels leaden with the same sadness and impotence.
The sun is burning away the glisten of last night’s rain on the pavement, and a soft layer of mist surrounds Ray and William as they walk to college, for most of the way in silence.
‘I’ve told her I’ll be best man,’ William says eventually over a fierce chirruping in the swaying hedge. Ray’s shoes graze the pavement as he stops suddenly.
‘Thank God for that. Pity you couldn’t have said that a week ago and saved Gloria all that upset.’
‘She said none of your family are coming.’ William walks on.
‘Shotgun weddings aren’t their style.’
‘But eventually they’ll want to see their grandchild, won’t they?’
They’ve reached the college’s grey edifice. Ray looks at his watch then leans against the wall. William does the same. ‘Their grandchild, is the fruit of our sin. Don’t worry, I’m not depriving our child of anything.’
‘That’s tough.’
‘They’re the least of my worries. I’ve just got to get married, pass my exams, and be a father. That’s enough for now.’
Following Ray up the steps, William thinks, not for the first time, if he was going to spend the rest of his life with Gloria, and her luscious body was the home for his baby, he’d happily run over hot coals to college every morning and still have a smile on his face.
42
He’s with her when it happens.
‘Come on you, let’s have a last cocoa together, for old times’ sake,’ she says when he meets her in the kitchen. ‘You’ll be gone in a couple of days!’ She puts her head on one side and beams her warmth at him. ‘What do you say?’
William has found a room just round the corner from college. His landlady is ancient but pleasant. It’ll only be for two months and then he’ll be back in Sutton with Uncle Robert and Howard. He’s got used to the ache in his heart, and to make life as easy as possible for Gloria he’s acted cheerful and normal, and they are almost back to how they were before Ray turned up. Mr and Mrs Finch are in the sitting room watching Armchair Theatre, just as they were on his first night back in September. Ray is upstairs.
‘All right.’ He smiles and sits himself on the counter next to the kettle. It’s worth the effort to hide his feelings to draw that smile from her. She turns and bends down to lift the milk bottle from the fridge. William’s heart kicks and he feels the jump of blood rush straight to his face. A huge crimson flower is blossoming across the back of Gloria’s skirt.
‘Gloria!’ he shouts instinctively. ‘You’re bleeding!’
The milk bottle clatters into the sink and Gloria twists round to look. ‘Oh God!’ She looks at him, her face creased and helpless.
Mrs Finch is there already, taking Gloria by both arms. ‘Let’s get you to the loo. Reg! Get the car ready, we’re going to the hospital.’