“You sound like Connor,” I point out with a small smile.
She glares. “If Connor appreciated the narcissism in his own birthday that’d make sense, but he refuses to believe they’re anything more than meaningless.”
I wait for Connor to pipe in about how he won’t celebrate his birthday, but like Lo, he’s not paying attention to our discussion.
I find myself scratching my arm, and I immediately freeze in slight panic. I haven’t done that in a while. Ryke’s face hardens in that masculine concern—something I do not want to see right now. In fact, I need to stop making eye contact with him altogether. I have a new tactic: Avoid Ryke Meadows.
Rose is still drawn to the birthday topic, thankfully not noticing my strangeness. “Buy her diamond earrings,” she says.
“She’d fucking hate that.”
I stare at the bar counter while I mutter, “She’ll like anything you get her.” Daisy is pretty much the easiest person to please.
“Is there something interesting about the counter that we don’t fucking know about?” Ryke suddenly asks me.
I squint at the granite, speckles of gray, white and black. “I think if you close one eye like this…you can see a bunny rabbit.”
“Everyone is so fucking weird.”
Rose dismisses that comment with the swat of her hand. “Just wait until you have your first fight with Daisy.” She says it like she’s expecting the moment to happen. Why is she putting that thought into his head?
I lightly elbow Rose. “Don’t say that. They don’t fight.” I can’t see Daisy being that upset over a present.
“Everyone fights.”
I point my finger at Ryke, and it accidentally pokes him in the eye. Oh my God! When did he get that close to me?
“Fuck, Lily,” he curses, his hand flying to his face.
I wince. “Sorry… I was going to tell you not to fight with her.”
“I fucking got that.” He sighs with a heavy growl. “I didn’t mean to say it like that.” He drops his hand, his eye a little reddened from my attack. He glances at the basement door and then back to me. “You okay?”
“Yeah?” Do I not look okay? My heart is racing with anxiety.
If I shift a little, I can feel how soaked my panties are, and I hate, hate, hate that he was the cause. I’m not even attracted to him right now.
He suddenly walks around the bar counter, his nearness alarming me, especially as I notice Lo watching us and my reaction. Ryke clasps my wrist, prying my hand from my arm, half-moon nail indentions by my elbow. I was scratching again?
I can feel his body heat, and I instinctively hop off the stool and push him away with two firm palms, a little more aggressively than I intended.
“What the fuck?” Ryke swears.
“Just stay back,” I say, breathing heavily. I shuffle into the kitchen.
“Lily—”
“Shh. It’s better if you don’t talk of this,” I tell him. Let’s just forget my weirdness ever happened and pretend that everything is okay. Nothing is happening between Ryke and me. Nothing.
Ryke glowers. “Are you reading the fucking tabloids again?”
“Yes.” I nod. “It’s important that I’m up to date on all the rumors.” The three-ways, the I’m having Ryke’s baby ones are out of control. Lo says it doesn’t bother him, but at the hospital, I could tell that comment from the doctor dug underneath his skin. It hurt me just as much.
“That’s the stupidest fucking excuse,” he tells me. “We’re friends, Lily. That’s it. You know it. I know it. So what if the fucking world doesn’t believe us?”
“I care!” I shout. I can’t turn it off like he can. After a while, the ridicule hurts.
“You’re fucking stronger than that!” he yells back. I don’t feel it. Not today. I think Ryke just wishes I was at his level. If all of us didn’t give a shit, then he’d never have to watch us crumble.
I feel tears crest my eyes. I wish, so badly, that I could be more like him. Doesn’t he understand how much we’d all replace parts of ourselves just to have a little of what he possesses?
“Hey,” Lo cuts in, his tone not as sharp. “Leave her alone, man.”
My heart skips, and even though Lo sticks up for me, I still can’t read him. It frightens me. We’re out of sync, and I can’t remember the last time where this happened. Maybe in college, when we went without talking for a whole week and our addictions overtook our lives.