“I’m doing it because it’s right,” I say in irritation. “Burn it if you want. And I promise, you won’t ever have to see me again.”
I turn around and descend the stone steps. Lily waits in the car for me, tapping her hands to the dashboard and singing aloud to whatever song blares through the speakers. I immediately smile.
“Loren!”
I look back. Aaron’s face has softened into something less hateful. Almost like the first time I met him, when he was just that nice lacrosse kid inviting me to his party. “I’m sorry too,” he says.
Hearing the words are almost as hard as saying them. I see him terrorizing Lily for months, cornering her in the halls. I realize how difficult it must have been to listen to me say the same thing. My throat closes up before I can speak. So I just nod.
I set my sights on Lily again.
She is my past, my present, my future. So when I open the door and slide into the driver’s seat, I’m not surprised that it feels like I’m returning home.
***
My nerves rocket the closer we reach our house in Princeton. I can’t stop fidgeting, and Lily keeps giving me weird looks. I spout off some story about a new client for Halway Comics.
Our apartment feels abandoned when we walk inside.
“Rose!” Lily calls out. She doesn’t know that Rose is staying over Connor’s tonight, that I have specifically vacated this place for us.
“She must be working late,” I say.
“She works too much.” Lily heads to the kitchen. “Maybe we should cook her dinner…” She thinks about this, probably remembering she can’t cook. “Or order her dinner and bring it to her office? She’d like that.”
She would. If she were at her office.
“I’m sure Connor already had dinner delivered to her,” I say, hooking my fingers in her belt loops.
“True. He’s been spending more time with her lately, hasn’t he? I think he’s worried another Sebastian will Jedi mind-trick her.”
I’m surprised she’s not focusing on the fact that I’m tugging her into my chest. It’s becoming easier and easier to touch Lily without her jumping my bones like a wild animal. The horny, insane part of me will probably miss her crazy sex drive. But the part of me that loves her, the one that I choose to listen to, is so fucking proud of this girl.
“How about we call it a night?” I say and slip my hand down the back of her jeans.
She gasps a little and grabs onto my T-shirt. “Is that code for what position we’ll be taking?” she asks with a delighted smile.
“I don’t speak in code. You’ll know exactly what I want.” I squeeze her ass. “Me. You. Bedroom. Now.” My teeth catch her earlobe lightly, and her breath deepens. And then I press feather-light kisses on her neck. At the fourth one, she squirms with laughter.
“Okay! Okay! Okay!” She throws her hands up in surrender. “Do not tickle me with your kisses! That’s a dirty game.”
I can’t stop grinning.
She spins on her heels, and I follow her close up the stairs. She stops a couple times to check that I’m right behind her. The third time, I give her a look. “Do you think I’m going to disappear, love?”
“Maybe,” she says softly and then scampers the rest of the way.
She presses her back against the door, blocking our entry. I try to remain calm, but I know what’s behind those doors. And she unknowingly prolongs this process.
“I think I’m going to get fat off scones,” she tells me, relishing this fact.
“You’re supposed to sell the scones, not eat them.”
“Who made those rules?”
“Capitalists.”
She crinkles her nose. “I like my way better.”
I nod to the door. “You going in?”
“I’m trying something new,” she tells me. “Restraint.”
Jesus Christ. She has to choose tonight for her personal achievement? “Should we discuss donuts next?” I say jokingly.
She looks like she’s taking this into serious consideration, and I give in. I reach past her waist and turn the knob, opening the door behind her back.
Her eyes go big, and she still doesn’t turn around. “Are you testing me?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and walk her backwards, leading her slowly into our room. Step by step. Her eyes fix on mine until she looks down, obviously feeling something soft under her bare feet.
“What…”
Red petals decorate the bedroom floor while burning candles flicker on the dresser and nightstand. It’s simple and perfect. I drop to my knee.