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Again, Rachel(125)

Author:Marian Keyes

‘Luke wanted me to go. I don’t want him at your do.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because! Could you imagine. Auntie Imelda taking note of all the ways Kallie is better than me! It would be horrendous.’

‘If that fucker comes,’ Helen said, ‘I’m throwing a glass of red wine all over his white T-shirt.’

You see, this is what people didn’t appreciate about Helen – she had many positives, including dogged loyalty.

‘And how do I know he’ll be wearing a white T-shirt?’ Helen continued. ‘Because he’s a Basic who got stuck in his look three centuries ago.’

Another of Helen’s attributes was her tendency to speak unpalatable truths.

‘But he’d be company for Angelo,’ Anna called, via Mum’s tablet, from New York.

‘Angelo’s a grown man!’ I exclaimed. ‘He doesn’t need a buddy.’ I turned to Mum, ‘Wouldn’t you be embarrassed in front of your sisters? To have my ex-husband there? With his new girlfriend?’

‘No! We’re a blended family –’

‘That’s not what “blended family” means.’

‘It would show that we’re all friends again. That would put Imelda in her box.’

‘Please, Mum. Have you no loyalty to me?’

‘It was a long time ago. I heard he apologized yesterday –’

I glared at Claire, who mouthed, Sorry, babes.

‘– and you’re fine now.’

‘Why do you even want him there?’ Helen asked.

‘I was fond of him. He was part of the family. It was hard on all of us when they separated.’

‘Admit it, you fancy him,’ Helen said.

‘Maybe I do.’ Mum went an even darker red. ‘But it’s not my only reason.’

‘Hold on, please.’ Claire was sharp. ‘I’d like a look at him. And Kallie. I’m a shallow person, that’s hardly news. But if Rachel doesn’t want him there, he shouldn’t be there.’

‘Hard agree,’ Helen said.

Margaret had been very quiet to this point – and her take was always interesting. ‘What do you think?’ I asked.

Carefully, she said, ‘I know an early miscarriage probably isn’t the same as what you went through, Rachel – if I’m saying the wrong thing, I’m sorry. But when I miscarried, and afterwards … the only person who was as devastated as me was Garv.

‘What Luke did to you was … but people do terrible things when they’re off their heads with grief. He’s here, he’s talking to you now. He apologized. I think it would help you if fences were mended. So I’m in favour of inviting him.’

‘Me too,’ Anna called. ‘For sort of the same reasons. You can’t avoid what the universe wants for you.’

‘Let’s do a show of hands,’ Mum said, raising both of hers.

Mum, Margaret and Anna were in favour of Luke coming to the party; Claire, Helen and I were against.

‘It’s my party,’ Mum said. ‘I have the casting vote.’

‘It’s Rachel’s ex-husband,’ Helen yelled. ‘She has the casting vote.’

‘I’m the oldest person here, I have the casting vote.’

‘Yeah, you are the oldest person here.’ Helen was savage. ‘And clearly gone in the head. Crunchie the dog should have the casting vote instead of you.’

‘Fine.’ I’d had enough. ‘Invite him. But if you do, I’m not coming. And I don’t make idle threats.’ Like, of course I did, all the time, but this once I actually meant it. ‘I’m leaving now, going over to Quin’s, so we can make plans for Saturday week, when you’ll all be at the party. Enjoy yourselves.’

Amidst a hue and cry, I exited the living room – and promptly stumbled over Dad, who was lurking in the hall.

‘Jesus!’ I yelped. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Has anyone any interest in what I think?’ he asked.

‘Are you not dead?’ Helen asked him. ‘Could have sworn …’

‘Come in here.’ Mum was watching him appraisingly. ‘Say your piece.’

Nervously, Dad stood in the middle of the good rug. ‘Their baby died, then they split up, so they never had a chance to talk about it.’ Helplessly, he let his hands drop and met my eyes. ‘People need to talk about things.’

‘You heard him, Rachel,’ Mum said. ‘Your poor father –’