‘I don’t know if I can.’ Then, ‘Okay, I’ll give it a try – Angelo! My man!’
‘Heeeeey!’ With man-hugs and backslaps, Angelo annexed Luke. Back in the day, they had been matey.
‘And Anna!’ Luke took Anna’s knuckles and kissed them, then they hugged each other. Of all of my sisters, Anna was closest to Luke, probably because they’d both lived in New York. Oh, and here came Claire, looking for her piece of the Costello action.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed – Mum was five minutes out! Claire, Anna and Helen had got the same text and nervous energy infused us all.
‘Positions, please,’ Claire called, sweeping through the room and herding aunties into graduated ranks. ‘Taller ones at the back! Phyllis, Imelda!’ She snapped her fingers. ‘That means you.’
‘Uncles-by-marriage – Donagh, Dónall, Deaglán, Diarmuid and Daithí – kneel in the front row. Molly, Luka, help them kneel!’
As Molly and Luka desperately tried to cajole octogenarian men riddled with arthritis into a kneeling position, Francesca called, her voice laced with panic, ‘Time’s running out! Just kick the sticks from under them.’
‘Remember.’ Helen patrolled the aunties as if she were a sergeant inspecting her raw recruits. ‘If any of you don’t shout “SURPRISE” loudly enough, none of you will get your New York goody bag, each with a retail value of over three hundred euro. We’re watching!’
Then, ‘Sssh. Sssh! She’s outside. She’s coming. She’s … SURPRISE!!!!’
Balloons flew, whistles were blown and everyone really did yell loudly. Mum did an excellent job of looking shocked and delighted.
Afterwards she was asked, again and again, ‘Did you really not suspect anything?’
‘Not an iota!’
Gazing around the room, I searched for Margaret, who, despite the vital role she’d played in this drama, was getting no thanks. I found her standing with Garv. Tenderly, he touched her face while she smiled and fiddled with his tie – and, frankly, she looked incredible.
Her gleaming hair was tousled and cool – but, oh my God, her dress! The stone-coloured midi dress was deceptively plain. But from the supple sway of the skirt to how the scooped neckline revealed her collarbones, it was perfect.
‘Margaret.’ Maybe I shouldn’t have interrupted whatever intimacy was going on but feck it, she and Garv lived together, they could share moments whenever they liked. ‘You look beautiful.’
She swung herself and her amazing hair around to me. ‘But wait!’
‘Yes!’ Garv exclaimed. ‘You must see the best part!’
‘Look.’ She slid her hands along her hips. ‘It’s got … pockets!’ Her smile froze. ‘Oh. Hi, Luke!’
‘Sorry for cutting in …’ Respectfully he kissed Margaret’s cheek and shook Garv’s hand. ‘So good to see you both. Just wanted to congratulate Margaret for delivering your mum here. And on time too. Not everyone could have pulled that off.’
‘Oh, ah, you know …’ Margaret was all set to go full-on self-deprecation but Garv interrupted, ‘Nice one, Luke, she doesn’t get celebrated enough. To my wonderful wife!’ He held up his glass.
The other people at my table were Anna and Angelo, Kate and Devin, Auntie Dolores, the least worst of Mum’s five sisters, with her husband Daithí – and Luke.
I was seated between Angelo and Devin – and directly opposite Luke, who was between Kate and Anna.
With surprising efficiency, we got our starter – and it was borderline edible which is a lot more than you’d usually get on a night like this. But when the beef arrived, it was no real surprise that my vegetarian meal didn’t.
The waiter said he knew nothing about it but he’d enquire.
‘Seriously,’ Anna objected. ‘It’s not as if you’re asking for pixie dust!’
Not one other person at the table was a vegetarian. Oh, more flexitarians than you knew what to do with, everyone giving it, ‘I eat red meat twice a year, and then only if it’s grass-fed, organic and locally sourced.’
‘Start,’ I said as their dinners cooled before them. ‘Mine will be here soon.’
Daithí and Dolores were already horsing into theirs. Seeming uncertain, Devin and Angelo picked up their knives. ‘You sure?’
‘Absolutely.’
But Kate, Anna and Luke held off.
‘Please,’ I begged. ‘This is making me feel bad.’ Scanning the room, I thought I spotted our waiter down at the far end, dancing attendance on other people.