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All about Me!: My Remarkable Life in Show Business(149)

Author:Mel Brooks

When he put the big, beautiful medal around my neck he said, “to Mel Brooks, for a lifetime of making the world laugh.”

…And I made believe the medal was so heavy that I was falling! I grabbed the president to steady myself, and everybody cracked up—including the president! He warned me that he would catch me if I tried to sell the medal on eBay. So I promised to keep it, but said that I might use it as a coaster when I drink my iced tea.

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I was lucky to have another honor bestowed upon me in 2013, the prestigious American Film Institute Life Achievement Award. AFI president Bob Gazzale, who since then has become a good friend, described the event as somewhat of a “roast”—but a clean roast, without all the usual insults fraught with dirty words. So it’s a roast, but classier. It was a really fun occasion that I was able to celebrate with my entire family by my side. Especially my grandchildren, Samantha and Henry, who were both a little older by that time and able to have fun sharing the red carpet with me.

The whole evening was joyously emceed by the hilariously brilliant Martin Short. I had the joy and pleasure of getting to know Marty pretty well a few years earlier when he played Leo Bloom opposite Jason Alexander as Max Bialystock for the Los Angeles run of The Producers at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre. Even though I’d seen the show a hundred times, I often went back just to enjoy Marty’s particular brand of rib-cracking comedy, especially in the “blue blanket” sequence.

That night at the AFI gala I was absolutely thrilled to be saluted by some of the biggest filmmakers in Hollywood, but I wasn’t expecting them to bitterly complain about what I had done to their beloved film genres. Clint Eastwood was the first to take me to task. He said, “The Western is one of the great genres of American film. Since the early days, Westerns have given us indelible images—the grandeur of endless landscapes, the intimacy of coffee at the campfire, men that do the right thing. I guess you could say the Western embodies the spirit of America…and this is what Mel Brooks did to it.”

They cut directly to my famous campfire scene from Blazing Saddles where after eating mounds of beans and drinking gallons of black coffee, the cowhands let loose with loud explosions of wind across the prairie. I’m happy to report that the sounds of farting were outdone by the roars of laughter.

Next up was George Lucas. He said, “Early on in my career I set off on a bold adventure to see if I could take mythological motifs and turn them into a contemporary movie, and I called this adventure Star Wars…and this is what Mel Brooks did to it.”

Once again, they cut directly to a hilarious scene in my movie Spaceballs, where Rick Moranis, encased in his huge dark helmet, says to Bill Pullman as Lone Starr during a clash of light sabers, “I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.”

That double entendre was a little risqué with my grandchildren there, but I’m not going to take the rap for that—it was AFI’s call and considering the big laugh it got it was worth it.

Next on the screen was the familiar face of the great film director Steven Spielberg. He said, “Movies bring history to life. They allow us to see, to experience great moments of the past as if we were there living it. From the dawn of man to the eternal stories of the Bible, to the epic tales of the Roman Empire—film’s ability to help us understand where we came from is a proud and important tradition…and this is what Mel Brooks did to it.”

There on the screen was my famous scene from History of the World, Part I with me playing Moses coming down from the mountain carrying three large stone tablets. In a commanding tone I utter these sacred words, “The Lord, the Lord Jehovah, has given you these Fifteen—” Crash! I drop one of the stone tablets and it smashes to pieces on the rocks below. So after a slight, embarrassing pause I continue with, “Ten! Ten Commandments!”

Which of course got one of the biggest laughs of the night. And then one after another a slew of top-drawer personalities came onstage and reduced me to tears of laughter with a barrage of comic barbs and insights that were just a little too true. There was Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg, Robert De Niro, Sarah Silverman, Amy Poehler, Cloris Leachman, David Lynch, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan O’Brien, Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, and Carl Reiner. You couldn’t hope to be insulted by more delightfully talented people!

They were all great, but one was particularly funny, stinging, and equally extravagant with praise and insults. That was Larry David. I had done a season of his very funny show Curb Your Enthusiasm and made a lot of jokes at his expense. He got even that night at the AFI.