They wanted me back.
They wanted me close.
And for me, that was more than something. It was everything.
We got out, and I caught Rhodes’s face as he waited by the hood of his truck, watching me closely. Part of me still couldn’t believe they’d come to get me. No one had ever done that before. Not my ex when he’d hurt my feelings beyond belief and I’d gone to stay with Yuki, and not after I left the house when he’d officially broken things off. He’d never even texted to check up on me and make sure I was fine and not in a ditch somewhere.
Just as I started to get mad at myself for everything that had led up to my relationship with him and how long I’d let it go on, I remembered that if it hadn’t been for him and what he’d done, I might have never come back here.
Because as much heartache and tears as I’d wasted in my previous life, the happiness I’d found here balanced it. And maybe with time, it would more than make up for it. Maybe one day it would overshadow that period completely.
I could only hope.
“You coming?” Amos asked as he rounded the hood of the SUV.
I nodded at him and smiled.
But still, he hesitated, a frown forming over his lean features. “I really am sorry, Ora,” he told me again.
“I’m sorry too. I’m disappointed in myself for believing that the music thing would be a deal breaker. Give me a hug and we’ll call it even.”
He seemed to freeze for a second before rolling his eyes and coming over. Amos wrapped a loose arm around my back, which was pretty much the equivalent of the warmest hug from anyone else in the world, and patted my spine twice—letting me hug him back—before he pulled away. He gave me a tiny mouth twist that was also the equivalent of a great, beaming smile from anyone else before he shook his head, looked away, and went up the steps to the deck.
Rhodes was still in place, looking, waiting as his son disappeared in the house, closing the door behind him. Leaving us alone. “All right. Come here,” Rhodes said in that low, quiet voice, lifting his hand.
I took it. I slipped my fingers over his calloused palm and watched as his long ones curled around my own, tugging me toward him. Those purple-gray eyes were steady. “Now tell me one more time. Why didn’t you say anything about who your ex was before?” he asked so tenderly I would’ve told him anything.
I answered, aiming for tender too. “There are a few reasons. A） I don’t like talking about him. Who wants to tell someone they like all about their ex? Nobody. B） I told you, it embarrassed me. I didn’t want you to think there was something wrong with me and that’s why we split up—”
“I know there’s nothing wrong with you. Are you kidding me? He’s an idiot.”
I had to fight a grin. “And for so long people just pretended like they wanted to get to know me because they thought I worked for him. I mean, I didn’t take you to be a fan of his, but I just got used to not talking about him, Rhodes. It’s a habit. There were very, very few people I could ever talk about him to. And I didn’t want to bring him up. I was trying to move on.”
“You did move on.”
My heart jumped, and I agreed. “I did move on. You’re right.”
He took a step closer, his body right there. “I want to understand, Buddy, so I know his level of stupidity.”
That made me grin.
“You broke up because he had to pretend you weren’t together? And that’s why you didn’t have kids?”
“Right. Only band members, people on tour, and close friends and family knew. Everyone had to sign a nondisclosure agreement. We pretended like I was his assistant to explain why I was always around. At first it was fine, but eventually… it really sucked. They were so paranoid about kids, his mom used to count my birth control pills. I would hear her asking him about fucking condoms all the time. It was so hurtful now that I think about it. And I don’t want to talk about him, Rhodes, because he’s the past and not my future in any way anymore, but I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.” I wouldn’t mind knowing everything about him some day.
“There’s a lot of singers who get married and are still successful, aren’t there?”
I nodded. “Yeah, there are. But I told you, he’s a momma’s boy and she insisted things would never be the same. He valued his relationship with his mom more than his relationship with me, and that was fine. Not really, but I tried to be fine with it. With being the lie. Being a secret. With living a life that made me feel way too often that I wasn’t good enough, because maybe if I had been, it would have been fine for everyone to know. All I wanted was to be important to someone again, I guess. So I put up with it.