“You can’t stay at home with him all day with any job.” I tried to make him feel better. “And you’d probably drive him nuts if you were hovering around constantly.”
He made a soft sound.
“I’m sorry you miss it though.”
“It was my entire life for more than twenty years. It’ll get better with time,” he tried to say. “If I was going to be somewhere, I’m glad he’s here. It’s the best place to grow up in.”
“You wouldn’t go back after he starts college? If he goes?”
“No, I want him to know I’m here for him. Not out in the middle of the ocean or thousands of miles away.”
Something tugged at me then. How much he was trying. How deeply he had to love his child to give up on something he loved and missed so much.
I touched his forearm with the back of my other hand, just a quick brush against the soft, dark hairs. “He’s lucky you love him so much.”
Rhodes didn’t say anything though, but I felt his body loosen a bit as he worked on my palm quietly, taping me up.
“He’s really lucky to have his mom and other dad too.”
“He is,” he agreed, almost thoughtfully.
When he finished with me and was putting all of his things back into his bag, his hip right against my knee, I went for it. I leaned forward, put my arms around him loosely, and hugged him. “Thanks, Rhodes. I really appreciate it.” Just as quickly, I let go of him.
His cheeks were flushed, and all he got out in a quiet voice was “You’re welcome.” He took a step back then and met my eyes. The lines on his forehead were in full effect. If I didn’t know him better, I’d think he was scowling. “Come on. I’ll follow you home.”
*
I didn’t sulk all the way home, but I maybe pouted a quarter of the distance there.
My hands still stung. My knees—the insides as well as the outsides—felt battered too, and I’d accidentally hit my elbow against the center console and cursed half the members of the Jones family to hell… because there was no one else really that I had any beef with.
I didn’t even bother putting my shoes fully back on either. I’d just slipped them on enough to hobble to my car and get in. Rhodes had closed the door after me, knocking once on the top while I’d kicked them off and set them in the passenger seat.
I stopped once to pee at a gas station, with Rhodes pulling in too and waiting in his truck until I got back.
Frustration pulsed deep inside of my chest, but I tried not to focus on it too much. I’d tried to do the hike. And failed. But at least I’d tried.
Okay, that was a lie. I hated failing more than anything. All right, just about more than anything.
So when I spotted the turnoff for the driveway to the property, I sighed in relief. There was a semi-familiar hatchback parked in front of the main house that I vaguely remembered belonged to Johnny. I hadn’t seen him again since our failed date. Rhodes went for his usual spot, and so did I. Leaving everything in my car that I absolutely didn’t need, which was all of my stuff minus my cell phone and boots that I casually slipped on, I got out to see my landlord already shutting his truck door, attention on the ground as I closed mine.
“Rhodes,” I called out.
“Want to come in for some pizza?”
He was inviting me over? Really? Again?
My heart skipped a beat. “Sure. If you don’t mind.”
“I got an icepack you can put on your shoulder,” he called out.
He watched me as I staggered over, muttering, “Fuck,” to myself because every step hurt.
“Are you sure you’re not going to get in trouble for leaving work early?” I asked as we went up the deck stairs.
He opened the door and gestured me to follow. “No, but if anybody asks, I did help an injured hiker out.”
“Tell them I was very injured. Because I am. I had to drive back with my wrists. If I could give you a review, it would be ten stars easy.”
He stopped in the middle of closing the door and looked at me. “Why didn’t you say something when we were at the gas station? You could’ve left your car there.”
“Because I didn’t think about it.” I shrugged. “And because I didn’t want to be more of a baby. You already saw me cry enough.”
The lines across his forehead crinkled.
“Thank you for making me feel better.” I paused. “And for helping me. And following me back.”
That got him to start moving again, but I kept on yapping.