He spread his hands, renewed frustration pounding at his temples. “Not as far as I know.”
She thought for a moment. “What about the rest of the day? Did anything else happen that might have upset her?”
“Again, nothing I know about.” Jumping to his feet, he began pacing. “I told her about the job offer, but she’d already decided to leave before that.”
“Out of curiosity,” his mother said slowly, “if Lauren had stayed and you’d accepted the offer, how did you intend to deal with the separation from her?”
He winced and paced faster. “I kind of, uh … assumed she’d want to come with me. As my cohost. Zach and I were negotiating with StreamUs about that when she left.”
Her mouth dropped open.
“You assumed that?” Her low whistle hurt his ears. “Wow. Alex—”
“Lauren already tackled that part of things, believe me.” He swallowed hard, his throat burning with yet more tears. “It wasn’t smart, and it wasn’t right, but I can’t go back and change what I did, Mom.”
Her little hum was starting to annoy the hell out of him. How had he forgotten that telltale noise? That unmistakable sign his mom smelled bullshit and intended to track down its source?
“And what if StreamUs said no? For that matter, what if StreamUs said yes and Lauren turned down the opportunity?” Her eyes narrowed on him. “What would you have done then?”
She knew. He knew she knew.
But she was forcing him to say it anyway, because his mom was the worst.
“I wouldn’t choose a paycheck over Lauren.” He scowled at her. “I’d have rejected the offer.”
“Alex …” Her eyes shut tight, she seemed to shrink into her seat. “God, Alex.”
Did she expect him to cast Lauren aside for a goddamn job? What the hell kind of man did she think he was?
Another lap of the island. Another. “What? Is it a crime to stay in the same damn state as the woman you love?”
“Of course not.” She opened her eyes, and they were red-rimmed. Tired. “But sweetheart, I don’t think you realize what you’re doing to the people who care about you.”
He threw his hands in the air, hurting and beyond frustrated. “Then tell me.”
His mother’s clear gaze speared through him, and she didn’t hesitate.
“You’re impulsive, Alex. Impulsive and generous and fiercely protective. You’ve been that way since you were little, and I love that about you. Always have, always will.”
There was a but ahead, and he suspected he didn’t want to hear the rest.
For her, though, he’d listen. For her, he’d do anything.
“But after the funeral, after Jimmy …” A single tear traced down her cheek, and she knuckled it away. “All that got so much more intense, sweetheart. Especially this last year, for reasons I don’t understand, and it’s terrifying.”
“What—” His heartbeat was pounding against his skull, and he couldn’t fucking think. “What does that even mean?”
“Suddenly, you’re willing to give up everything you have, everything you’ve worked for, without a second thought. Not just material possessions. Your career. Your entire future. Your happiness. And you’re willing to do it without looking for other options.” Her words shook, but she didn’t break eye contact. “Think about how that feels, for me and everyone else who loves you.”
He tore a hand through his hair. “I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
His mother pushed to her feet, walked over, and stood toe to toe with him.
“Sometimes doing the right thing requires sacrificing everything else, and sometimes it doesn’t,” she told him. “You’ve always been impulsive, but you used to try to make that distinction. You used to look for alternatives. Not anymore.”
His mother swallowed so hard, he could hear it.
“If you’ve been atoning for what Jimmy did, it’s time to stop. It wasn’t your fault. And whatever happened this last year, find a way to move past that too.” Her face bruised and tearstained, she raised her chin and stared him down. “You don’t need to sacrifice your future to prove your love or become a good man. You’re already a good man, sweetheart, and you always were.”
Wren had said almost exactly the same thing. Again.
You’re morally and legally obligated to believe me when I say you’re a good man. You have no choice. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules.