What she considered exoneration, he knew was nothing of the sort. If anything, it was further damnation.
“You’re right. She didn’t tell me.” His eyes were blurry, and he squeezed them shut. “Maybe she thought I’d tell her to stay, the same way I did before. Or maybe she thought her self-absorbed asshole of a son just wouldn’t care.”
“I am entirely certain that is not true.” She was standing now, arms extended high so she could cradle his face in her warm, tender palms, and he didn’t have the strength to move away a second time. “People in abusive relationships are often too ashamed to tell anyone, and scared of what might happen if they do tell someone.”
She met his eyes, her gaze unwavering. “If you’d known what was happening, would you have helped her?”
“How—” His voice broke anew, and he was crying again. “How can you even ask me that, Wren?”
Her thumbs stroked his wet cheeks. “I’m asking because I know the answer.”
“Of course I’d have helped h-her.” His chest bucked in a lone sob. “I l-love her.”
For all the good it had done her when she’d needed him most.
Lauren was insistent. Inexorable. “Have you ever hit your mother? Kicked her? Thrown something at her? Lost control and injured her in any way, or deliberately hurt her?”
He recoiled, aghast, but she didn’t let go.
“No! I would never—” Desperately, he shook his head. “No.”
“Then the only person at fault here is the man who abused your mother. Not her. Not you. Him.” Wren’s eyes were wet too, but clear as the ocean, without a single eddy of doubt. “And if you have trouble believing that, you might want to see someone about it. A counselor.”
He swallowed over a sore throat. “Not you?”
“I’m happy to listen, but I can’t be your therapist. We’re too close.” She bit her lower lip. “No wonder you were so upset at this season’s scripts. Ron and R.J. had Cupid abandon Psyche and their healthy relationship to return to his abusive family, and you—”
“Acted the whole thing out to the best of my ability, even though I knew it was wrong.” His cheeks were tight with salt, his eyes sore. “Even though I knew it would hurt vulnerable viewers who might be struggling to leave violent relationships. I should have walked away from that fucking show, Wren. Walked away and not looked back.”
Again, he couldn’t spot a single shadow of condemnation in that extraordinary gaze. “So tell me, then. Why didn’t you?”
Selfishness, his brain immediately reiterated. Cowardice.
But that wasn’t the full story, was it?
“If I’d walked away—” He pressed his lips together. “My lawyer said it would be a clear violation of my contract, and I’d owe Ron and R.J. a shitload of money. And I was afraid I’d ruin my reputation in the industry. Which is ironic, given what happened at the convention, but …”
She nodded. “You didn’t want to bankrupt yourself or break something you’d been building for two decades. That’s understandable, Alex.”
“No. That’s not it. Not entirely.” Within the cup of her hands, he shook his head. “I think I’d have paid that price, if I would have been the only one paying it. But without savings, without a paycheck, how could I support my mom? How could I keep funding my charity? How could I afford to pay Dina?”
“Honey …” She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. “Honey, that’s not self-absorbed. Not in the slightest.”
“I don’t …” Bending uncomfortably low, he rested his forehead on her soft shoulder again, and she resumed stroking his hair, and oh, fuck, the relief. “I don’t understand how you can say that, when all those people watching—”
She didn’t let him finish.
“You were in a situation with no good options, and you chose one. That’s all.” Her warm, moist breath puffed into his ear, and he shivered. “You said you trusted me. Is that true?”
He nodded against her neck.
“If that’s true,” she told him, “if you truly trust me, then you’re morally and legally obligated to believe me when I say you’re a good man. You have no choice. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules.”
He didn’t believe her, of course. But Lauren was generally right about everything, and he did trust her. Totally and without reservation. So … he didn’t not believe her either.